Boyz r dum.
I am a very simplistic person. I like to say things straight up (but not in a mean way) so that things are clear. Guys now a days have way more issues than I thought they would. For example, last night, I went to this bar with a group of friends.
Oh wait, first I want to say that this was a horrible night for me and this is the first time in 8 months that I have drank so don’t judge!
So since my "bf" decided to stop texting me, calling me, but sends me emails saying "hi" I am going to assume what any reasonable person would. He doesn’t like me like that anymore but is too chicken shit to say anything. Oh well, I figured I needed to go out and have some fun to make sure I’m not the boring person I think i might be… another blog for another day.
Okay, on to the juicy stuff. Specimen #1 is a male, tall, handsome, sending me drinks. Drinks that I’m not even drinking but they are still flowing. I nod, mouth ‘Thank you’ with a smile and wait for him to come over to talk to me. This nope. Nothing. He’s just with his friends, making eye contact with me and never comes over. Can someone explain that to me? What does that mean?
Specimen #2 comes along this guy is making eye contact, smiling and that’s it. For like 30 mins. At first, I thought, I want to talk to this guy…then i’m like "This guy is creeping me out. Why is he just staring?"
Specimen #3 started sniffing my hair…THEN DECIDED TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF!!!! WTF!?!?! I was weirded out at first but I’m laughing about it right now.
Douche Bag #4 is a one-upper. We started talking about weight lifting and stats. Everything I can do, he can do better. No shit. you’re a guy. If I could lift more than you, I wouldn’t be talking to you. I kinda got the jist that you were stronger than me, but you rubbing it in my face makes you a douche.
Guy #5 starts talking to me. He’s nice, sweet, and we carry on a conversation very well. Then he has to go. and leaves. Without my number…. huh?
Okay create this imagine in your head. I’m sitting at a bar, drinking only one drink there’s a guy across the room sending me drink after drink, the guy a few steps to the right of him is the guy who keeps staring, everyone once in a while, I have to punch the guy who keeps smelling my hair and the dude next to me keeps asking me questions like "do you play football cause I used to be the QB!"
Needless to say, I want to be single for the rest of my tour in Germany if this is what they have to offer. If anyone can decode what these guys meant by all their weirdo moves, please advise accordingly. Thank you.
June 14, 2008 at 11:41 am
Maybe you were in a gay bar?
June 14, 2008 at 11:41 am
LOL. Wow! Even as a guy myself I don’t understand guys. I mean, just go over and talk to the girl like a normal human being! If she’s interested, Great! If she’s not, oh well, it happens. But at least she doesn’t think you’re a weirdo, freak, a**hole, or anything else you could think of. Sometimes when I go out I’ll just sit back and laugh at the guys who are there to ‘pick up chicks’ and how they make a fool of themselves over and over. I can assure them, that if they stop trying so hard and just keep it simple and honest, they’ll have much better luck. GOOD LUCK with your next trip out!
PS. Your ‘bf’ is an idiot. LOL
June 14, 2008 at 11:50 am
ROFLMAO! OMG…this just is the way it is! I have had the same experiences in bars over and over…I cant stop laughing right now…awesome blog! If I had an answer I promise I will send it to you…
But ‘boys are stupid’ is all that comes to my mind too!
June 14, 2008 at 6:24 pm
the guy that smells your hair? I THINK I MET THAT FOOL! there was a creepy guy who smelled my hair at thirsty nelly’s I believe? he tried to eat it later on as he kept pouring down the drinks… or maybe there are just a set of them out there.. ? lol! maybe it’s their "military" mentality? how stupid. I say, eff the rank and get with an officer… they know how to treat you a little better… just don’t let anyone know.. =D
June 16, 2008 at 6:35 am
maybe you just need to talk to men and stay away from the "boys"…
June 16, 2008 at 6:51 am
Ok, first of all, the comment by bigjeff0065 was funny! My two cents…you probably intimidated the "boys" by your looks. Lil_loc0 is probably right.
June 21, 2008 at 7:48 am
maybe that’s a sign that you that should give me a chance (^_^) I’ll send you drinks and come over, I’ll stare at you but then talk to you and say "I can’t help it", I’ll sniff your hair (with your permission), I won’t be a douche, and I’ll surely leave the place with your number. (^_^)
June 22, 2008 at 6:47 am
LMAO! read your heading and you can answer your own Question. but it was funny reading that. check your messages!
June 22, 2008 at 7:05 am
lol, specimens # 1 and 2, thought they were "God’s Gifts" types, wanted YOU to chase them. (don’t do it, feeds their ego) #3, weirdo hair fetish doesn’t know his boundaries (RUN, RUN FAST), Douche bag #4, he was intimidated by you and (like an animal puffing up at another more powerful animal) was FLARING his colors,lmao, #5, hmmm, hard to say, maybe knew he had "beer penis" going on and was afraid you might expect him to perform and couldn’t, and last but not least, QB guy, LAAAAME he was about to use a really dumb line about you playing center and HIKING HIS BALLS FOR HIM. lmao, not all guys are dumb, when you meet the RIGHT one he will be interested in you without being intimidated and will behave like a gentleman but will give YOU HIS number and an invitation to call if you so desire.