Gutiesc’s BodyBlog

I don’t know what it is about 2 weeks! EVERY STINKEN 2 WEEKS of great training and diet and BAM! I just want to binge. I’m hungry all the time. I want to eat not just sweets but anything. Another bummer is that with all this training for the marathon, my butt is getting smaller and less firm! NOOOooooo!!!!!! My glutes are semimental to me. They are my part of my Latina Heritage! I need to really focus on my Leg day but lately, when I’ve been feeling tired by the time I go to the gym. I’m starting to dispise my job for forcing me to be lazy and sit at a desk all day. I want to walk around, pick up heavy stuff, run around base for anything! I’ve lost weight, but I feel it’s not enough. I want to lose another 5 more but then I think, will I actually get there? I see all these people getting fit and I feel like I’m standing still as everyone is running past me. I eat right, I train right but what if that’s all in my mind? What if I’m not really training like I need to and I don’t know it? My first instinct is to just switch it up by the plan I’m using right now has gotten me results. I hate that I want to jump ship as soon as progress slows down but I really really just need to wait it out. You know how hard that is as a impatient person? I’m sure you do. Wouldn’t it be nice to lose quick weight if you trained extra hard for like 2 weeks ( my max lol)? I get so freaken mad when someone who is over weight comes in and tell me they lost 20 lbs in a month. I know I shouldn’t and I’m smarter than that but it’s frustrating to be eating right and exercising everyday to lose 1 measly pound a week.

 I’m super cranky right now because I grabbed the wrong container for lunch and found out I only have eggplant slices for lunch so I had to pair that with a banana creme protein shake which means i don’t have a 1500 meal… Not the best way to deal with my already raging cravings, flat-butt crisis, and water retention!!!!!!!!!!

holy moley is the only way to decribe the way I feel right now. Today I was told that I am getting promoted below the zone (6 months early to the next rank Senior Airmen/E-4). I started to cry for real! You have no idea what it feels like to have most of your career working your butt off, staying ridiculously late hours, having to do things a high ranking person should have taken over while your airmen friends are out drinking, partying, sleeping, resting…whatever fun thing it is you’re not doing because you’re AT FREAKEN WORK!!! I hate being treated like $hit because I’m just am airmen in a sea of officers. It’s like not only do you have to wipe their ass all day long but they get offended if you don’t ask to ass it aswell (i’m really bad at the analogies but bare with me it’s 5 minutes til midnight). So, it’s nice to know that someone was watching over you making sure you get recongized for your work. Then again, i like working. I would rather have an extremely busy day than a lazy bum day, any day of the week (okay not Sunday because that’s for the man upstairs).

So anyway, I had TWO freaken servings of my cake, a slice of pizza, and some of my nephews candy. I FEEL LIKE SCHIESSE (German word) for real! God honest truth, all I kept thinking about was Chickentuna shaken her head with her arms crossed saying "What the F*%& did I tell you about eating that $hit?". lol… God I’m tired but I’m hyped up with all this sugar. Damn it. How the hell do I expect to lose weight? I lie sooooo much about how I eat too. I’m always telling people I eat 6 small meals a day…which i do but I snack like crazy in between. a handful of nuts here, a sugar free fudgcycle there (I knew I should have bought those on sale). Then I wonder why the scale gives me the middle finger after week after week…

Which reminds me, there was this Garfield comic strip i saw a few years ago that made me laugh lard! garfield steps on the scale and its says "You’re as light as a feather!" and as he’s leaving the room with a smile of accomplishment on his face, the scale adds "If a feather weighed a ton, you fat pig!"….it’s the reason I always sprint out of the bathroom after I weigh myself! LMAO lol. I’m not obsessed with my weight, I actually haven’t weighed myself in a month because I gain muscle fast than I lose weight. I go by the way my clothes feel and they feel great!

 Okay, I’m going to stop rambling. I’m supposed to start this goal thing on Monday but I think I’m going to start tomorrow because today has already ended in my book and if I wait til Monday, my mind registers that to mean "Cool! That means you can binge all weekend! and I definately can’t afford that.

 Morale of the story, only eat like a pig if you are getting promoted on a very rare circumstance and run out of the bathroom if your scale starts talking to you (when it’s not supposed to).

 Good night kids!

I am a very simplistic person. I like to say things straight up (but not in a mean way) so that things are clear. Guys now a days have way more issues than I thought they would. For example, last night, I went to this bar with a group of friends.

 Oh wait, first I want to say that this was a horrible night for me and this is the first time in 8 months that I have drank so don’t judge!

So since my "bf" decided to stop texting me, calling me, but sends me emails saying "hi" I am going to assume what any reasonable person would. He doesn’t like me like that anymore but is too chicken shit to say anything. Oh well, I figured I needed to go out and have some fun to make sure I’m not the boring person I think i might be… another blog for another day.

Okay, on to the juicy stuff. Specimen #1 is a male, tall, handsome, sending me drinks. Drinks that I’m not even drinking but they are still flowing. I nod, mouth ‘Thank you’ with a smile and wait for him to come over to talk to me. This nope. Nothing. He’s just with his friends, making eye contact with me and never comes over. Can someone explain that to me? What does that mean?

 Specimen #2 comes along this guy is making eye contact, smiling and that’s it. For like 30 mins. At first, I thought, I want to talk to this guy…then i’m like "This guy is creeping me out. Why is he just staring?"

 Specimen #3 started sniffing my hair…THEN DECIDED TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF!!!! WTF!?!?! I was weirded out at first but I’m laughing about it right now.

 Douche Bag #4 is a one-upper. We started talking about weight lifting and stats. Everything I can do, he can do better. No shit. you’re a guy. If I could lift more than you, I wouldn’t be talking to you. I kinda got the jist that you were stronger than me, but you rubbing it in my face makes you a douche.

Guy #5 starts talking to me. He’s nice, sweet, and we carry on a conversation very well. Then he has to go. and leaves. Without my number…. huh?

Okay create this imagine in your head. I’m sitting at a bar, drinking only one drink there’s a guy across the room sending me drink after drink, the guy a few steps to the right of him is the guy who keeps staring, everyone once in a while, I have to punch the guy who keeps smelling my hair and the dude next to me keeps asking me questions like "do you play football cause I used to be the QB!"

 Needless to say, I want to be single for the rest of my tour in Germany if this is what they have to offer. If anyone can decode what these guys meant by all their weirdo moves, please advise accordingly. Thank you.

This morning I got up and went to PT. As my lazy ass came up with some random ass PT session, I noticed the left side of my back hurt like I pulled a muscle. Next was the bicycles, the right side-back side of my hip was killing me! then we take off for a 5K, My left shin starts to act stupid! I’m messing around with my Ipod and notice my thumb is sore at the joint, almost painful. my right shoulder hurts like it needs to be popped but the more you try the more painful and stiff it gets.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!? I’m 22! this should be happening to all the old people! Then I thought back into my long Memorial day weekend. On Saturday, I went to the Golf Course driving range and missed a few balls that were supposed to be hit by my massive back swing. Then, when I was hanging out with my BF, I lost a pretty intense game of Thumb wars (don’t ask why I still play that game, just know that I do). As for my hip? I think it was when I went running in the back woods, got lost for 30 mins and ran like hell into pot holes, tree trunks, something gooey i couldn’t (and didn’t want to) identify.

SO, I got my appointment with my doctor on Friday which is probably too long but that’s the military for you. They hope you forget why you needed an appointment and then cancel when the time comes. Anyway, I’m going to take this week off…I haven’t rested in quite somet time. Let’s hope I don’t look like Kristie Alley when I get back into the gym…

I was a beast today. This morning, I went running because of PT. About 2.55 miles in 21 minutes. I was pacing myself because I knew I had a deadly run in the afternoon. I joined the cross country team on base and the deaded 5K UPHILL course was going down today. I consider myself a good runner but I CANNOT do uphill. I NEVER stop running unless it’s uphill. It’s my kryptonite. Well, today I geared up and went to the meet. Of course, not a lot of people showed up. I had never been on this trail before but in the whispers around me, I could hear even the best runners already complaining about icing their legs tonight. I just drowned out that noise and start playing my favorite IPod playlist.

 The horn goes off….

I’m pacing myself like a mother! About 9 min mile and people are flying by me. Usually this ticks me off because I have runners envy but not this time… Little hills were coming at me for about a mile (on extremely loose gravel…this is just stupid. If you are a runner, you know this is extremely dangerous).

2 mile mark…all down hill baby! But not the good kind. It was the "Holy shit, I better keep running or I’m going to face plant into this rock here" down hill.

2 1/4 mile mark… I look up and hill up hill. I BLAST my IPod and keep my pace. I’m passing people left and right. This hill is about a 30 - 40 % incline uphill for 3/4 of a mile! by the half mile my quads feel like they are self destructing. Literally tearing off my bones, acid being poured on them at a steady state. But something inside me just WOULD NOT let me stop. Trust me, I tried but my body was like "Oh F*** no we ain’t going to prolong this torture!"…so I just kept on going.

Next thing I know, theres the light at the end of the woods…THE FINISH LINE!!!! 26 mins! for a 3.2 mile race.

As I pass through the high fives, I politely proceed to some near by bushes to puke my guts out (it’s cool, it’s nothing but dry heaves which to me is even worse).

 Main point: I did a little more than a 5K in 26 minutes (my last record for a regular 5K is 27 mins) and it’s the first time in my life that I did not walk on an uphill…the longest uphill of my life and I hope not the last!  

I freaken pissed today. We are in exercise mode and I’ve been at work for going on now about 11 days in a row now. 0500-1800. Not so bad if I had a couple days break but I don’t…not the point. I had to train these augmentees (Reservists) to take care of the night shift Accountability portion. Well, as always, these douche bags never listen and didn’t do any work. I’m getting calls in the middle of the night (even though I just worked an "13 hr" day…more like 16) from these retards because they need help after i just spoon fed it to them and wrote it down with purple crayons and pretty pictures.

 It was only 1000 when I had already eaten 95% of my daily calorie allowance and I’m starving for more. I freak when I’m under stress and the get an incredible craving for food. So much that it took me twice as much time to do my daily work not to mention I have to take up the reservist slack. *For those of you who are civilian and have an brother, aunt, or pet dog enlisted in any kind of reserves and is currently putting their "life on the line" or "serving their country" for 2 days a freaken month and you are currently offended by my statements…yeah you guys can blow me. They are lazy asses who want Active Duty praise with a civilian-mentally attitude.

 Anyway, I forgot to give my commander the brief because a Colonel was asking (yet again) a F*cktard question, and I couldn’t answer that because I had my daily suspenses aside from the exercise BS that didn’t get done by those lazy, martini-drinking @$$holes (A.K.A. RESERVISTS!!!).

 I’m sure tomorrow i’ll be back in my Angel mode. It’s low carb day so we’ll see…

For those who are Active Duty (any branch), Thank you for nodding you head, laughing at this post and knowing exactly what i’m sqwaking about.

Coming up next…."Where does the common sense go when the rank goes from Sleeve to Collar?"

Until next time….