GoJoFit’s BodyBlog

I have never dieted this strict for this long and not cheated, and I was looking pretty good.  But now..I’m just a few days out and I look horrible..  I know I didn’t have any salt or milk..but it def looks that way..I have no abs showing.. I have extra skin..I had none of these issues last year, when I only dieted for a month before my first show.  Somehow I had my self convinced that if I did everything right.. I would look really good, all I wanted was to look as good as last year, but with abs showing…yeah right.  I am so not genetic or I’m unlucky?  I"m sure others have been through this torture or dieting and dieting..only not to look your best..when the time comes.. luckily I have 2 other shows scheduled shortly..so even if I still look bad on Saturday maybe in a few weeks I won’t???  I wish this was an easier science to understand. 

Less then a week out now.. have to get the workouts in before I’m soooooooo carb depleted I can’t lift anything.  I think I look too thin, having problems getting all the calories in now that I"ve dropped the protein shakes.  Anyone had much sucess with natural muscle gains after age 36?  Guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. 

I hate whitefish..glad they make extra low sodium tuna now!  I’m so sick of Green veggies!!  Well at least I’m honest.  Just a few more short days/weeks of this.. then I get a slight repreive to recover before jumping back into it and training for Women’s Tri-Fitness, but I’m glad I’m finally going to be getting back on stage.  Seems like Forever.  I think the hardest part of competing is the mental aspect of believing in yourself those last 2 weeks, when you are too depleted to lift as much as you normally would, and you feel weak and like crap a lot of the time.  My trainer said today, its a good thing I’m a really nice person…or I’d never make it through this.. lol  ok, whatever dude, I have no brain cells left at this point.  I think the folks at work think I’ve lost it.  I work for a very conservative company, so I don’t ‘advertise’ my sport.  Alot of my co-workers know about it, because of my eating habits.  Most don’t get it… but that’s part of this right   I’m rambling..that’s carb depletion for you. 

I told a trainer at the gym I didn’t feel ready yet…he said and you never will just do it.  He’s not my trainer.lol but it was a nice comment nonetheless.  I do think I will be ready in two weeks(May 26th) when I do the show, but even more so..for the one in 3 weeks(June 2nd) and the one in 5 weeks(June 16th).  After that I switch gears and get ready for the Women’s Tri-Fitness International competitioin July 12-15th. Its going to be a busy few months!!  

On the horrible before picture.  I was more then humilated to put it up and no one has said anything … lol  Are you all blind?  Neon white skin, GIANT HAIR!  Come on it is comical to the point of extreme laughter..its like when your mom pulls out that photo you hate from Jr. High..only I was a grown up! ugh!!

But I’m still not happy, I know.. I should be.  I’ve had to overcome shoulder injury and a recent chest cold, to do it.  But even though 54.8 is a great time.  I wanted to get a new personal best, which would have to be faster then my October run of 54.13.  Very frustrated right now with all things fitness and figure.  I feel like giving up, but I’m still sticking to my diet, which tells me..that deep inside..I’m not a quitter even though.. I want to quit right now.  That’s all for now. 

Good news is there is an obstacle course competition this weekend..and regardless of the fact that I’m not at 100% I’m doing it…and that feels good because I haven’t done one since November do to shoulder injury.. wish me luck all!!  Go WTF!!!

I’m almost over that darn chest cold.  The weekend of family is over..omg..I love them, but what a pain.  "So how long are you going to do this?"  Meaning diet and exercise…um, I’ve been working out since I started gymnastics at 4 years old..so um.. lets see..so far that’s 32 years..but maybe I’ll quit next month.. duh?  Its mostly diet..and since I had to spend quality time with them my diet suffered..I think I ate 8 protein bars in 4 days to supplement my lack of protein..gag me!  I feel like a walking bloated sodium tank!   They just don’t get it at all.."so what do you eat again?"  "OH this is healthy…its only got olive oil…pasta and a little parm cheese."  sigh!!!   I don’t look GOOD like I did last week!  Boo!  And I"m 4 weeks out!  I hope my body re coops in time from the disaster area that has been the last two weeks.  I think next time I’ll just pack my food and let everyone remain seriously p*ssed off at me..whats the difference ..they weren’t happy with what I was eating anyways.  Why do they care?  I"m not forcing my food on them??