GoJoFit’s BodyBlog

I feel absolutely awful..I’m about 36 hours out..had 4 ounces of water today…get 2 in the next 12 hours…then that’s it until after the competition.  I don’t know how to describe this..I’m slow….I’m slurring..I"m exhausted, not sure how I’ll make it.  There has to be another way or else the rest of you are much more tolerant of the no water siutation then I am.  I’d write more but I’m to tired.

Is just that..when you push on through despite everything else.  Like the soreness and pain.  The lack of brain cells availabe.  Feeling thirsty all the time.  And you ask yourself…why did I decide to do this to myself again…because you have the discipline and ability to get through it.  As one of my old trainers used to say….If it was easy everyone would do it.  2 more days of workouts, 4 more days of mmmm chicken/fish again.  And I’ll have another competition under my belt, this is #7 for figure(I’ve done numerous fitness as well).  I wish I was doing WTF this weekend, but the pain in my hip as I write this reminds me why I’m not.  But I CHOSE not to be lazy, I chose to say..if I can’t do that..I won’t just sit on my couch…I will do what I can.  Good Luck to all of you out there that are doing WTF this weekend, enjoy its the best thing going!!  Good Luck to all of you out there doing every other competition, because you had the heart and will power to do it!  Win or lose you deserve everyones congratulations! 

I’ve been discouraged off and on..with an overuse injury to my hip..been trying not to ‘do everything’ and take ‘an offseason’ as suggested by my doctor.  10 weeks ago..I decided.. that I was healthy enough to do a figure competition(I wish I was healthy enough to do Tri-Fitness or at least Fitness).  So I started training and a different diet.  I ‘think’ I’m doing well.  But time will tell 9 days out.  I don’t think I"ve ever trained this hard for a figure competition.  Hopefully results will show. 

I haven’t written in a while..frustration abounds…another Vegas comp..another not so great comp.. traveling definitely makes things more difficult, this time I came down with a UTI and a fever..just in time.  I competed.  I finished.  I spent the rest of my time in Vegas hold up in my room, taking Ibuprofen and drinking cranberry juice…shoot me now!!!  Now a month later.. I have a bad sprain on the same old hip!  And my doc says..3 weeks no lower body..what is this man crazy…he’s a sports med doc.. how dare he.. I believe the quote was.."even pro athletes have an off season"  well to that!  Ok, I’m working on it.. I made it a week and a day and I’ve only done upper body lifting, and 1 hot yoga class skipping the poses that made me stand on that leg.  But today, I’m going to try the Elliptical, fingers crossed.  I’m dieting again for a figure show..hopefully the weight will come off ..even without so much cardio.  Once this is over.. I might do the November Trifitness …but I have a new goal for next year…but its a secret for now:)

train and diet, diet and train..months..years.. get endurance up.. avoid injury..try to get confidence up.. when is too much dieting..when is not enough.. when is too much training, when is not enough?   avoid thinking about your ex’s.. and what is wrong with you..and just concentrate on the task at hand.. don’t worry about what might be.. might have been.. or what the heck is going on right now..  try to relax.. I never feel ready for this comp..last year I was probably the most ready and got injured 2 weeks out..  a week ago..I felt pretty ready for this year..now I just feel blah!  PMSing.. stressing..did I mention I started a new job last week.. well at least they are all nice and supportive there.  I think I’m packed..I don’t think I forgot anything.. I scrap’d the idea of doing my routine..even though its the best one I’ve got in a long time.. I just don’t feel ready.  All my closest friends are supportive.. although I think some are just being nice..or are partial   But regardless of if my confidence is being sapped due to a stupid bday card.. that mentioned my break up from earlier this year of a long term relationship…and through me for a loop(my bday is still weeks away)  or the fact that I’m getting up in age.. or the fact that I don’t feel I dieted enough.. too soft this year?  Last year I was too skinny…will I ever get the combo right?  but regardless of each and every obstacle..I will once again, for the 3rd year in a row..make the trek to the desert.. with the intention of giving it my all.. Winning(or getting a new personal best) is the combination of .. training/hard work, talent, and confidence I have one.. I have a little of another..and I’m always working on the 3rd.  So I’m leaving all of you..and all of my stresses and my cats, behind..and going to the desert.. where I will give it my all..once again.. and let the cards fall where they may..in less then a week it will be all be over.. and we will all say.. we will do better next year.. we will change this or that.. all this prep…all this work..all this DIETING…all for a few days.. in the desert.. competing with some of the best athletes in the world!  Go Tri-Fitness!

Chicken?  oats?  Tuna?  Veggies..maybe some berries?  or nuts?   Is a hotdog really worth it… or that bun that won’t do anyone a bit of good?  I’m one week out so I won’t be having any treats today…other then fireworks.  So if its your cheat day…enjoy a brownie for me!  I’ll be making up for lost time next weekend.  If your dieting today like me..know you are not alone. 

If the family is bugging you.. try just keeping your diet to yourself.. ask them to bbq some chicken breast, bring a veggie platter..  or some strawberries/blueberries.. bring some whipped topping, for them…  Hang in there. 

I received this in response to the blog I wrote yesterday…this motivates me…I wish we had presidential candidates like this, this year!

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt 

I’m not ‘popular’, I don’t have the typical fitness ’look’ sure plenty of you are nice enough to complement me on my ‘accomplishments’..and I thank you.. today is not turning out to be a good day.. for me..and why we have bad days I don’t know?  I’m frustrated that after months of dieting and months of training…I don’t feel ready …my fitness routine.. I knew what I wanted months ago..but I kept putting it off why, fear..I hate practicing it..because I want to do it perfect the first time.. I finally got a dance instructor to help me..and I was doing good..but its too little to late..I don’t think I will have the confidence to pull it off in a week.. As for the rest of the competition.. I don’t know why I do this to myself sometimes..

Bench, lets start with the impossible.. I am not losing weight.. I look better then I did 2 months ago..but I’ve lost maybe 3-4 pounds.. and I need to lose..3 1/2 more to bench 80 pounds which is still too heavy for me to make a good score..because for some reason..I can’t seem to get strong in the bench press.  As I’ve been saying for 3 years.. there’s always next year..but I’m sick of saying that..

Box jumps..I’m getting better..but I’m not there yet..I’m fast..but I can’t finish.. it just sucks that no matter how hard I train at this..I’m still struggling and my body feels like its breaking down. 

Shuttle run.. Its improved but right now.. I feel sluggish. 

 The course.. used to be my best event..and if we break it down..obstacle by obstacle it is my best…but.. I haven’t had a good run ever in Vegas..and I haven’t had a good run.. on the course in over a year(last Spring 2007, was the last time I broke a minute..and my last personal best was.. October 2006!)   I know my negative attitude isn’t helping..I train hard.. I do.. but somehow..it never seems to be enough..someone else’s body holds up better then mine.. and they can train harder.. or they have more energy..so they can train harder… or maybe they are just more disiciplined so they can train harder(but..I have my doubts on that one.. I do train hard)  I’m extremely frustrated right now..but I have some maturity in this sport and I know a lot of it is mental.. and that tomorrow I will wake up..and I might still be negative or I might..be great and positive.. and ready to go…and that..keeps me from going and buying a chocolate cake and eating it.. and thinking what’s the point in trying.. its too difficult.. the hope ..that tomorrow or the next day.. my body will finally respond to all the dieting and training..and I will get lucky ..and do something right.. finally.. that small hope keeps me going..but getting disappointed year after year takes its toll.. the same ppl win.. the same ppl place high.. for a year I was one of them.. I was top 5 in almost every obstacle course run in 2006, after Vegas…it was my moment to shine…but it seems since then its been one injury after another.. is it time to hang up the shoes, heels and running.. and give it up..and admit my moment is over.. or.. do I take yet another year..and train hard..and put my body through torture and deprive myself of enjoying things like.. Brownies cookies..cakes..even fruits.. and milk.. all to have another miserable.. competition where.. someone else.. passes me by.. and  I just have to sit and watch and listen as they give me advice on what I’m doing wrong.. I’m not doing anything wrong.. really I’m not..I’ve been doing this longer then most.. but I’ve hit a rough spot.. and I’m not sure how to get through it…

Ok.. the legs have it.. I get it.. I’ve got legs..I was a gymnast I started lifting them.. at age 11, all you folks that say kids shouldn’t lift…have a look…my legs are just fine..and I’m not a midget!  However..didn’t lift upper body at all until my late 20s’ and never stuck with it until my mid 30’s I’m seeing improvements..but its SLOW! Way to slow for my taste!  I want some arms to go with my legs!  and shoulders..to go with my butt!  So what’s the deal..am I just genetically not inclined to build upper body??  Or does it always take so long!!!

So I’m commited.. I bought my suit last week, $125, its actually really great despite not costing a fortune..I’ll post pics..after the competition(I would now, but I glow in the dark, white!!) ..and now I found a direct flight to Vegas and back for under $400 so I’m definitely commited to going..been training for it all year, despite numerous injuries and set backs..been seriously dieting for a month..and was cutting back prior to that..  the room is reserved.. not totally commited to the fitness routine yet.. still need a ‘costume’ and to be sure I can still do my strength moves to my satisfaction, since I’m just recovering from a slightly pulled right pec.  And this darn diet is sapping my strength already.. grrrrrr!!!!  Anyone know any tricks on low carb.. but still having energy?? Please pass along!  Thanks.