Beauty Revealed…

Oh my, my emotions are playing tricks on me. Change in life is never easy and it certainly fits the cliche when you’re going through a seperation soon to be divorce. I have been alot better lately since I started working out again. I took a whole year to get back to the gym consistently and let me tell you I am glad I did. But, wow these feelings of sadness just gets to me sometimes. Fear of starting over. The isolation I feel is wicked. I have to regain that single mindset that Crisha’s got to take care of Crisha and that has been a down-upward battle. Not to mention my 4yr old who’s depending on me. I just had to tell myself today, "Girl get a grip." So much pressures and responsablilities as a single mom with an average job. Well I know things will work out for me and I just have to keep mentally focused on the end result, a better me overall.

In spite of the emotional challenges I am facing right now I’m happy to share that I am down 6lbs from my highest weight of 250. The walking and cardio at the gym I have been doing is finally working. I’m still inconsistent with my nutrition but better than I was before. My eating habits tend to still be guided by how I am feeling each day. I know each day will get better but I do miss being that beautiful wife and family. But, see now that people change and life happens. Something I have to realize I don’t have any control over. I’m just going to really have to get a grip and take control of my thoughts and focus points.

Oh my, my emotions are playing tricks on me. Change in life is never easy and it certainly fits the cliche when you’re going through a seperation soon to be divorce. I have been alot better lately since I started working out again. I took a whole year to get back to the gym consistently and let me tell you I am glad I did. But, wow these feelings of sadness just gets to me sometimes. Fear of starting over. The isolation I feel is wicked. I have to regain that single mindset that Crisha’s got to take care of Crisha and that has been a down-upward battle. Not to mention my 4yr old who’s depending on me. I just had to tell myself today, "Girl get a grip." So much pressures and responsablilities as a single mom with an average job. Well I know things will work out for me and I just have to keep mentally focused on the end result, a better me overall.

In spite of the emotional challenges I am facing right now I’m happy to share that I am down 6lbs from my highest weight of 250. The walking and cardio at the gym I have been doing is finally working. I’m still inconsistent with my nutrition but better than I was before. My eating habits tend to still be guided by how I am feeling each day. I know each day will get better but I do miss being that beautiful wife and family. But, see now that people change and life happens. Something I have to realize I don’t have any control over. I’m just going to really have to get a grip and take control of my thoughts and focus points.

So, my husband has started working out intensely for the last 4 weeks. And he is looking absolutely amazing. Of course he saw that I had not been taking this as serious as I said and that bothers me. I’ve stuck to it for 2 weeks now but I’m the kind that can get unrealistic with my goals and want it all off NOW! I know I have to be patience but no matter how much I hear “It takes time” I want over night success. Well, that’s not going to happen and I’m trying to focus on other reasons to stay consistent. This brings me to my title. Not that things are bad now….far from it! But let me tell you when I was 150lbs and a little more toned it definitely made a difference. I had more energy, more flexibility and much more confident in my birthday suit. No complaints from hubby but the compliments he had been giving don’t come so often now. Now you know “us” women love compliments….Especially about how we look or how attractive we are to that special someone. I miss that extra attention from him. “Honey your thighs ooooo!” “Baby those jeans fit reeeeeal good” “MMMMMMM I like that top on you!” It made a difference. Even though I know he’s attracted to me now and he says “cute” things here and there. I know the better I start to look the more attention he’ll give me. He has noticed that I haven’t fallen off plan the last couple of weeks and even gave me a few pointers. We had our own cardio session last weekend when he taught me some tae kwon do (oh that was so fun). He moves so quickly and let me know that the lighter you are the faster you’ll move and the better you’ll be at the sport. It was so funny cause if I could move quicker I’d probably be a challenge. He let me know that I was real strong, my kicks where good but I move to darn slow and I’d get whipped every time. But during that session it got kind of heated and I really liked that! It’s such a turn on to him to see me active and upbeat and energetic….AND NOT EATING CRAP! That matters a lot to me. Plus, I do feel better without all that junk on my stomach. And working midnights I stay awake and alert a lot better when I haven’t eaten a whole bunch of junk food.  Anyway, there are just some things that come out better in the bedroom when you’re in shape. Stamina, endurance, resistance (LOL), position! I mean if you have legs that are well toned and in shape you can ride off into the sunset a lot longer. Ab muscles go good with pelvic movement. Strong arms really great for popsicles push-ups (yeah we get creative).  All the cute costumes and outfits look a lot better in a toned body (not skinny…toned, there is a difference, cause I do not want to be skinny, I want to be in voluptuous curvaceous sex appealing shape).Plus overall your drive goes through the roof! At least mine does when I eat healthy.  So on top of wanting to live a healthier life and look sexy, I want that sexy look to be backed up with some real good times in the bedroom that defines why it’s not just a look it’s who I am. I’m sure he’d agree (smile).