A Peek into the Mind of GeminiJedi

Where to start?  I cannot wait for this to be over so I can have my weekly cheat meal.  Although I do really like how I look when not cheating….I am craving pecans.  And chocolate chip cookies with walnuts, but would gladly substitute pecans. I cannot wait until I start feeling more energetic again!  I have been DRAGGING the past couple days, and am quickly turning back into a coffee fiend.  FIEND!  GIMMECOFFEENOWDAMMIT type of fiend. And a space cadet.  Like "Honey, did I do my cardio this morning?" spacey.  And pretty much useless at work :/  Combine that with the fact that I’m LONG overdue for a vacation (which I used all my days for my wedding–in 2007 because company decided to not start vacation over with the calendar like they always have in the past GRRR!) so I’m going to go see my grandparents for the 4th.  It’s going to be tough diet wise, because Grandma makes the BEST cinnamon rolls (maybe I’ll bring some home and freeze them for after my show) and depending on which aunts and uncles show up some damned good Bloody Marys.  But it will be nice to get away for a couple days.

Umm…what else is new?  I’ve been feeling like an emotional train wreck!  Today is better now than yesterday, though work was ROUGH.  Yesterday I could have cried over ANYTHING (and nearly did!) and was ohsoclose to kicking my cat across the room for trying to steal my grilled chicken breast (which was DELICIOUS so I’m pretty sure I’m close to DELIRIOUS).  Oh, best part.  Saturday I will be 2 weeks from show.  Saturday I’m getting one of my wisdom teeth removed.  I need them all to go away, but can only afford the one that is KILLING me.  My entire head hurts, it’s tearing up the inside of my mouth, chewing is BRUTAL…Hopefully I will heal quickly.  I will continue my workouts as much as I I can while healing, perhaps lightening the weights and increasing the reps instead.
Work outs have been FANTASTIC since my minor, tear-filled freak out Friday/Saturday.  I had an AWESOME chest workout last night, with an amazing pump!  I’m not gonna lie, the girls haven’t been that happy and full in a while LMAO  I had an amazing arm workout last Friday that I’m still feeling…maybe it was last Thursday.  I was nearly in tears from my tooth but I killed my arms and my biceps are still feeling it.  PUMMELLED my shoulders tonight and it feels wonderful.  Probably do back tomorrow and subject my little brother to legs with us on Thursday.  OH!! I also decide on my rhinestones for my 2 piece Thursday morning   I’m very much looking forward to that.  I need a tan, so I think tomorrow between laundry loads I’m going to go lay out a bit and get me some color (hopefully not too red!  lol)  My hair needs dyed again and trimmed desperately so I think I will do that sometime this week too.  And I’m just thinking out loud now so I will stop boring everyone.  G’night!!!

A perfect meal-wise day at work.  That’s nearly unheard of!  I didn’t get cardio in before work because I realized when I awoke that I had no meat cooked, so I cooked, then had to shower, and hit the road to be at work on time.  And it totally would have happened had the pharmacist not called me to make a Starbucks run.  It’s ok, though, because I’m not a Starbucks fan, frappuccino or straight coffee.  Give me 7Eleven’s house or Dark Mountain Roast with a Splenda packet or a bit of sugar free syrup and I’m a happy gal.  So  those five minutes early that I gave myself to get to work on time were instead spent in line at Starbucks.  That is the beauty of going inside, however–the drive through wait is at least twice that because everyone is LAZY lol  That’s ok, joke’s on them between getting fat from their latte AND sitting on their lazy bums instead of walking the 40 ft to the counter inside.  Heaven forbid they turn off their Suburbans and Navigators for 5 minutes.  BUT as munchie-ridden as I was today, I did not give in.  LORDY was it hard, but I’m so close!!  I’m also to the point where I can feel every little change in diet, or too much sugar free gum (sadness!!) or not enough water or ANYTHING.  I’m liking it.  I just need some more quad pop and tightness in the glutes.  Ok and more overall mass.  And to NAIL the poses instead of snuggling gently into them lol.  BTW, posing vid is in my "Videos of GJ" section, feel free to comment and be brutal.  Supps going well…need to hit cardio after weights tonight.  I need to hit the tanning bed a bit more too so I’m not having to paint on a billion coats of ProTan to get dark enough.  SO MANY THINGS TO DO!

It must be the season.  I think everyone is going INSANE! LOL  Either with contests this weekend, or in a couple weeks, or in 10 (me) and dieting down and training hard, this lifestyle I think is starting to go to our heads.

Add to my plate college.  WTF am I thinking?!?!  hahaha I know it’s worth it, and a degree will take me places, but I’ve been given a 3rd chance (yes, THIRD!!!) at a physically active life and I feel like I can and SHOULD capitalize on it.  Something has to give, though, and I can’t sacrifice work because I need to pay bills and keep my health insurance.  I can’t give school up this semester because there’s only like 5 or 6 weeks left (and I missed the no credit deadline on Monday) so I should just stick it out.  The problem is this:  I know I don’t want to do the criminalistics thing anymore.  I’m thinking something sports performance related, but I don’t want to ENTIRELY switch my major now (5 classes from my chem major), but I sure as heck DON’T want to be in school anymore, and I absolutely DO NOT want to be a pharmacy tech for life.  NO THANK YOU!  I think I would like to do the training thing.  I think it would allow me to focus on my training as well as work and do the "responsible, functioning adult" thing.  UGH!!!  I just totally failed my calc test, and I have a genetics test to go fail in about 40 minutes.  Good thing is I think the entire class failed this calc test.  freaking a.  OH! and my nails were looking BEAUTIFUL and I hadn’t bit them in 2 or 3 weeks….yea, they’re GONE.  Chomped to the quick.  Did I mention my shoot is a week from Sunday?  I want so much right now to sink into a pint of cookies in cream ice cream and retreat from the world for a while.

Back to work at the gym again this morning.  It felt pretty good.  That damned 4 count just doesn’t work with me.  My muscles won’t do it.  Three is the number of the counts, and the number of the counts shall be three; four is right out!  Needless to say I was a bit cranky by the "that was only 3" comments.  I’m friggin’ trying!!!  Anyways, the legs were nice and wobbly by the end of my kickbacks so I left the bench where it was.  HORRIBLE etiquette, I know, but I didn’t want to look like more of a nerd not being able to carry it back lol

Workout: Legs/Slow
3-1-3, 45 Degree Calf Press: 4×12, 170/180/190/200
3-0-3, Prone Leg Curls: 3×12, 40/40/50×9, 40×3
4-0-4, Abductor: 3×12, 40/40/40 (mostly 3 counts here)
3-0-3, Seated Leg Extensions: 3×12, 40/40/40
6-0-6, 45 Degree V Stance Leg Press: 2×12, 90/90×10 (last time it was 70/90, so yay bump!)
4-0-4, kneeling cable kickbacks, 2×12 25/25, nice and slow, full ROM, good hammie squeeze too.

Work wasn’t so bad today.  Wednesday is going to suck.  One of the other techs (not exactly quick) is opening with a know-it-all pharmacist that is a broken record and I really want to smack with a 45lb plate, and my boss doesn’t get in until 6 because of a meeting.  I’m lucky enough to get to go in at 11, right for the rush/special orders/non-warehouse items to arrive, get that straightened out before warehouse arrives, hit the rush, then clean up when the boss shows up.  She has a cake shift, though, coming in on the tail-end of the evening rush, and we’re pretty dead between 6:30/7 and 10pm.  Oh well….my job is clean-up hitter….

I know, I live in Colorado.  It’s supposed to snow and be cold and actually have a winter.  I actually do like winter (moved to Tucson briefly to get away from winter, came home for Christmas, decided  I actually missed it, and moved home 2 weeks later–just long enough to give work enough notice lol) but I can grumble when it’s been pretty mild up until my wedding day :/  Yes, right now we’re getting DUMPED on with some light fluffy stuff, but it’s kind of slick seeing as CDOT forgot about the roads again.

This morning’s workout was fine.  I wasn’t horribly grumpy or cranky this morning.  Had a very nice wake-up call, though.  It always helps to start the day off right.  ANYWAYS, here’s today’s workout.  We skipped abs since we got there late and I went in to work early to help the sick boss out a bit.

2-0-2, Pec-Deck Rear Delt (Flat/Prone Grip) - 4×12: 30/30/30/20 (poor little delts got tired!)
1-0-1, Partial Dips - 3xFail: BW×12, 12, 13 (HOORAY! never been able to do them before )
A: 2-0-2, BB Bent Rows (Supine Grip) - 2×12: 65/75
B: 1-0-1, BB Shrugs - 2xFail: 65×15/75×12
1-0-1, DB Shoulder Press (Palms In) 3×12: 20/20/20 (in each hand)
A: 2-0-2, Seated Rows - 2×12: 60/60
B: 1-0-1, Drop Set/Partials - 2xFail: 50×12ish/50×7
A: 1-0-1, 1 Arm DB Overhead Tri Ext - 3×12: 17.5/12.5/12.5 (yea, no shoulder stability)
B: 1-0-1, 1 DB Tri Kickback - 3xFail: 10×15/10×12/10×12

Soooo….yea.  I’m pooped.  Work sucked with the floater who was horribly ditzy, and the computer died (the one we use most often, of course) and it took the Help Desk 6 hours to tell me that–I already knew that, and is why I called, but whatever.  I’m really feeling my traps right now.  And rear delts.  Time for food and a hot soak I do believe.

Yes, I think it is.  OWIE TRICEPS! hehehe  Did 135lbs on the tricep pushdown machine yesterday–that’s a personal best and 20lbs more than I currently weigh.  Something about lifting/pressing/whatevering more than I weigh makes me happy.  Legs are feeling better.  Delts hurt.  BUT I’m seeing gains in size and strength in those too and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

Work sucked, again.  I really hate floater pharmacists that don’t do anything.  And I hate being Super Tech because I do a pretty darned good job at being in both ends of the pharmacy (filling and selling) at once–at least filling super quick between sells.  I wish I wasn’t, though, because then I wouldn’t be expected too.  But if I wasn’t, I would feel inadequate and I’m so not wired to be lazy when there’s work to be done (when there’s not work, though, I’m all about standing around) *sigh*  Oh well.  Pays the bills, gets us insurance.  If only the dumb marriage license would get back from the records office I could send in the insurance stuff….

I am so freaking sore it’s not even funny! Well, Mr. GJ thinks so, but he’s sadistic like that lol  This new guy at work (we just fired someone for stealing drugs) is incredibly unprofessional at greeting the patients: *stoner tone* "What’s up? *blah blah blah* Keep it real!"  I really want to smack him!  Not to mention the incredible headache I’m getting, pretty sure it’s tension from him.  And I think he got the hint yesterday that I’m sick of it, heh.  I understand it’s hard working at a different store–been there, done it, a LOT actually–but it doesn’t take THAT long to figure it out.  He’s been here a couple weeks.  At least my staff pharmacist feels the same way.

Back to soreness.  It’s back day today, so my ENTIRE posterior half of my body is going to be hating me.  I want a day off so badly!  Today is day 7 for me, since I threw in shoulders on Sunday instead of resting like scheduled.  I feel so queasy (part of headache?) and miserable….and I have to do it all over again.  *Sigh*  "That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."  I wonder how the person who first said that died lol

Nutrition has been really good for the last 2 days.  Work thinks I’m a freak because I’m constantly whining that I have an hour before I can eat again.  I’ve told them just wait until June lol

It must be a pre-req as part of The Circle to be a klutz (at least for the short-of-stature, free-weight loving chicks) and today I’ve done something I’ve been trying to do for a couple years now.  There’s this one aisle in the pharmacy that I do not get along with.  It was trying to put my ring hand in a cast for my wedding (at least the cast could have been purple) and is constantly refusing to move out of my way when I need to get to the other end.  Well, tonight–as we’re getting SLAMMED, btw–instead of hitting my toes on it by having taken just a large enough step to spare my head WHAM!!! eyebrow into corner of shelf.  I stood there, dazed for a moment.  Wish I could have had a camera to catch the pharmacist’s "oh sh!t" face lol.  The "Do you need a band aid?"  responded to by "No, I think I"m ok *hand to head, feel skin torn, see blood* I think I’ll take that band aid."  Hydrogen peroxide does NOT sting that badly you sissy boys!  lol  My ex used to SQUIRM when I approached with the H2O2 bottle after his graceful moments hehehe  Anyways, it didn’t require stitches, which is good because I’m pretty sure I don’t have insurance right now.  The pharmacist was cool though, bandaged me up.  Once things slowed down we were able to chat some.  Turns out he’s aware of bodyspace!  Perhaps I should have gotten his screen name….. anyways it was super fun chatting about training without sounding like a meat head lol  Right now, though, I’m sleepy, thirsty, and the ibuprofen isn’t touching it.  Oh well.  G’night!

Well, training this morning was…interesting.  Depleting sucks!!  Started with bench press, did 10 reps with the bar, threw a couple 10’s on and did 10 more reps (with some difficulty) then threw a 5 on each side for a whopping 75lbs and got 5 reps, with failure on the 5th one.  WTF?!?  Oh yea, no fuel.  Did some palms-out, rear delt flies on the peck machine with 15 lbs for 10 reps and was done.  I know right now it’s not supposed to be functional strong, but still…

Work sucked.  I was at a busier pharmacy today, and the morning tech didn’t show up.  We were crazy busy until I was able to get a coworker from my store to come in around 1:30.  Luckily one of the managers helped fill so I could take care of the patients.  But holy cow, and the people who were cranky today were CRANKY!!!  It took all I had to not give it back today.  Geh.  Oh well.  For the most part people were nice, and it helped that I kept a smile even though I really wanted to go away and find some nice, simple carbs to eat.  I didn’t, though.  And last night at my store sucked.  They were stupidly busy/behind for not a lot of scripts (because the other Sr tech thinks he’s a tech god and he’s absolutely not…but that’s another story for another day) and had 3 of 11 totes of warehouse done.  Both him and my staff pharmacist left with the pharmacy still a mess.  I didn’t get warehouse put away until 9:15pm (got there at 4) after cleaning up.  THEN, as other tech is leaving, he asks me to do his weekend project. WTF again?  Of course I didn’t do it.  And with inventory monday morning (I have to be there at 6:30 monday morning to help a bit before classes) that can’t be done until tomorrow night because I’m sure one of them will screw it up before then.

Ok, enough ranting for now.  I’ll let everyone know how tomorrow went tomorrow night!