A Peek into the Mind of GeminiJedi

Since last week, I’ve gained some muscle!  Yea!  Last time I checked stats I was 120 and 14.9%.  This morning I’m 121.5 and 14.5%  Not much, but it’s DEFINITELY a step in the right direction Crunching the numbers, it’s 102.5lbs lean body mass vs. 103.9lbs LBM so that’s actually pretty huge!  YAY ME!

It’s Monday night, as everyone I’m sure is aware.  I made it to the gym on my way home, despite REALLY wanting to go straight home instead.  I’m glad I did.  I got to chat with Rita some before my workout, and that was nice.

Worked shoulders, though I intended to do chest.  It must have been International Shoulder Instead Of Chest Day because EVERYONE was doing shoulders.  Luckily I have my weenie weights that no one else was using   Actually I bumped most things again, and what I didn’t bump this week I will bump next.  I’m starting to see all the heads working, and that makes me HAPPY!!  I think they’re growing–I KNOW they’re growing stronger so good things will be happening soon.  I’m happy with it, and though I haven’t made the goals I’ve set up for October, I’m going to make some great gains in November (though the not-quite-contest lean goal I most likely won’t hit, especially if I’m making cheesecakes weekly) with my new-found drive and determination.  Now, I want to build a better base so that when I prep for show again I will have a better balance upper to lower body.  I do need to stay fairly lean, though, so that my ass goes away when I want it to.

Food today sucked–not even going to write about it.  I did make some orange roughy for dinner and let me tell you that has got to be one of my favorite foods now

~Court
Stop CODEX

I know I already posted this as my previous blog, but I feel it is important enough to post again.  Please watch (or at least listen to) the video.  There is some scary information about policies that WILL be implemented in the next 13 months if we don’t do something about it.  This affects EVERYONE who buys food from grocery stores, as well as takes vitamin supplements, bodybuilding supplements, seeks naturopathic remedies instead of pharmaceutical remedies…basically every person on God’s great Earth.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5266884912495233634

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/?p=1220

http://www.codexalimentarius.net/web/standard_list.do?lang=en

Long video, but anyone who uses holistic, natural, and organic treatments instead of synthetic drugs (which I’m guessing is the VAST majority of users here) should watch this video, and check out the links I’m providing. This affects EVERY SINGLE PERSON that consumes food in the world.  It’s not just the supplement industry this time, though that will be eliminated if this is passed, it’s the ENTIRE FOOD industry that is affected.  Please watch (at least listen to) the video in the first link, then poke around the other websites I’ve linked.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5266884912495233634

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/?p=1220

http://www.codexalimentarius.net/web/standard_list.do?lang=en

http://www.codexalimentarius.net/mrls/pestdes/jsp/pest_q-e.jsp

http://www.codexalimentarius.net/mrls/vetdrugs/jsp/vetd_q-e.jsp

http://www.codexalimentarius.net/gsfaonline/additives/index.html

How do we stop this?  We, the people of the WORLD–not just the United States, Canada, Great Britain, etc, but the people of the WORLD because this is a global crisis–need to speak up!  http://www.healthfreedomusa.org  We can speak up.  We have the right resonsibility to govern our government.  http://www.democracyinaction.org/dia/organizationsORG/healthfreedomusa/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=12189   Send the message to congress.  We have until December of 2009.  That’s NEXT YEAR people!!

This effects ALL FOOD, not just nutrients, supplements.  ALL FOOD.  Please stop CODEX and protect your health.

Here’s the split I’m thinking.  Probably Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat.

chest/back    reps
bench press    10
lat pull-downs    10
push-ups on medicine ball    10
1 arm hammer machine rows    10
incline db flies    10
back extensions    10

arms    reps
hammer db curls    10
db tricep kick-backs    10
machine curls    10
tricep extension machine    10
preacher curls    10
cable tricep push-downs    10

legs    reps
pop squats    10
squats    10
romanian dead lifts    10
standing calf raises    10
seated calf raises    10

shoulders    reps
arnold press    10
db lateral raises 10
DK’s superman thingies 10
db front raises

….and failed desserts!

LOL  Yes, I’ll be working out to my own schedule, as previously stated.  I do need to get in the habit of working out first thing in the morning again.  Failed on that Friday morning, though it wasn’t entirely because of being way too early…

Note to self: cheesecake cannot be baked in a couple hours.  It must be baked UNTIL THE CENTER SETS even if it takes longer than the directions say.  Also, it must be cooled first to room temperature from the oven, then in the fridge for like 3 hours…. Otherwise you get splooge.

What I need now are mini-goals.  I work best for deadlines (or at least I have it stuck in my head that I do) so I think the best thing for me now is to set mini goals for myself.  Something like 40lb shoulder DB press, certain %bf (though I’ve failed this one several times…keep trying till you get it, Court!!), etc. etc.

Doing a show in March probably isn’t the best for me. Firstly, I would have 3 months left in my "off-season" and would have to start dieting in January.  I don’t see me getting what I need to get done done in three months.  Secondly, that show isn’t a National Qualifier, so a Top 5 placing doesn’t mean anything.  Yes, it would be a good ego boost, but it would mean a 3 week off-season before dieting again for July.  I think it would be best to kick my own butt for 6 solid months now, then start cutting again in April for the July show again.  In the mean time, work on some solid strength goals (because with strength does come size), some intensity goals.  I’m researching the best methods for hypertrophy for one of my classes anyways, so why not apply it to myself?  I feel that my diet is pretty good right now.  What I need to do is hold myself more accountable for weekly progress pictures and start using those to gauge myself.

One nice thing about a hired trainer is an unbiased third-party eye to scrutinize.  I love my husband and all of his advice.  It has been helpful for me (TREMENDOUSLY) but he IS my husband, is supposed to be biased, and while he has figured out a TON on his own, I think an experienced eye would be best for the both of us.  I know I can get further much faster that way. Hopefully the new year brings about some good changes and some extra wallet-padding.  I know it will pick up for work.  I know things will get better.  What happens is in God’s hands, and He has a wonderful plan for us all.  It is amazing what happens when your faith is in the right place.  Right now I need to put my faith back in the right place.  Things will happen when they’re supposed to happen.  Right now, I need to work myself out and know that it will pay off.

So…back on topic.  What will my specific mini-goals be?  Dunno yet ;P  I will brainstorm on those tomorrow after I get some more research read and some sleep

I’m trying to pin down exactly what I want out of this lifestyle, short term and long term, and how I will get there and what I will need to do it.  Obviously I want to be ripped and muscular, but what specifically?  I want to compete again, but when?  I need money, but how much?  I want to be healthy, but by which definition?  When do I call it "good enough" and just start maintaining?

Well, a good place to start is with the obvious, no?  A pro card would be wonderful to have.  Do I think I can get there?  YES!  I’m looking at my comp pics, and with some adjustments (obviously) I do believe I can do it.  I need more upper body mass (shoulders and back, specifically) to balance out my lower body.  I can get rid of some of that bad mass and that will help the balance issues, as well as bring out more definition and get rid of the junk and jiggle in the trunk.  I know that leaning out will make me look bigger than I really am.  I have to get over this mental hurdle of worrying about what the scale says instead of the mirror.  I have this notion that a "perfect stage me" is 120-125lbs and  < 10% BF.  Who knows how I will really look in this condition once I get there?  I do know that sub-110lbs scares me: I think it’s too light for my 5′5" frame, even if it is mostly muscle mass.  SO my goal for next competition is 110+lbs and 9% bf (I competed at 108lbs, 11% BF in July) and I think I should still fit into my suits.

How soon I get there depends on how much work I put into the lifestyle, both in the gym, in recovery, and how much dedication I put into my nutrition.  Right now, with school, it is difficult to find a balance, though I do MUCH better on the nutrition on school days than on work days.

I know I DON’T want to do a contest diet while in school, though I am tempted to break this and do a show in March or June/July next year to wear my suits again.  HOWEVER I’m not sure it would be worth it even though stage time and experience is invaluable.  I DO think I can do it in the spring of 2010 while doing my internship and not having to focus on classes.

I want to work with a trainer for my next show, for sure.  I know I’ve come a LONG way thus far, and I’m sure I can go even further with an experienced trainer.  Though for what I want, it would cost me double what I owe on my credit card (which is much less than most people’s balance, but much more than I like heh) and half of what Hubby owes on his.  Those are bigger priorities right now, and other things such as paying bills and feeding ourselves.  Right now it’s not possible.  I know things will fall into place when the time is right, and I have a very capable mind and body so I can go making good progress on my own until I can afford a trainer, right?

I also need to get some pics printed and go looking for local sponsors.  I feel like I need to lean out a bit more so I "look like a fitness girl."  I was at a local "bikini competiton" at a local nightclub about a month and a half ago, and one of the "bikini models" from the host company said that I "didn’t look like a fitness girl" and it was all I could do to not reply with something nasty.  It was a bit of an eye opener, and I have leaned out more since then.  I feel that with more shoulder/arm mass it would help my "fitness girl" appearance.  Ideally I would get enough $ from local businesses to be able to afford the trainer and additional bling to my 2-piece and be able to compete next summer (yes, I will be taking 1 class, but I’m itching to get back).  Trainer is not necessary, I know, but it DOES help a TON to have an outside eye and one with experience to guide me along on the correct path.
What I NEED is some patience!!  Everything will happen when it is meant to be.  This is the push I needed to get back on track.  I have to keep doing my part (working hard on my own and eating CLEAN and not to excess) and the other pieces will come when it is time.  How much does patience cost?

Tonight I went to a posing practice with the team I’ve been invited to.  It was really good practice, and I can’t wait for progress pics.  I’m super pasty white LOL  Oh well.  I really wish money wasn’t so tight so I could really step up my game with these guys as my trainer/nutritionists.  They know their stuff, and I know they can help me get to the national stage and beyond!  If anyone is interested in making a donation, PM me   Or if anyone has any ideas on how to approach local businesses for sponsorships I’m game to hear those too.

2 days in a row making it to the gym solo.  HUGE, though  I guess I did it during contest prep, so it shouldn’t feel so awkward at first.  Oh well.  I’m going, I’m kicking my own butt, and it does feel good.  A little lonely, I won’t lie, but I like doing it my way.  I never did because just going and doing whatever Adam was doing was easy in that I didn’t have to think about it, just do it.  But that gets old after a while, ya know?  If I’m going to do this–which I do want to–I have to own it, and I wasn’t.  It’s sad that it came to this fed up, "fine, do it your way; you’re on your own" deal, but it’s good.  It’s good for both of us, I think.  That’s the hooray.

Now for the Hurrah.  I met a local NPC judge on "that other forum" and met her (them, actually; husband and wife judging/competitor duo) on Saturday at the latest local show.  I’M SO GLAD I DID!!  They have their own team here in Colorado, with competitors I’ve seen at other shows.  Those ladies have teamed up and are competing at the end of the month, and the improvements that I’ve seen have been AMAZING.  So I was invited to their forum (*GASP* a threesome of forums?!? 0:) ) and have been really enjoying it.  I’ve been invited to their posing clinic they host on Saturdays they’re not judging.  SO HONORED!  Not that I don’t have great help available to me, but to have approached someone I don’t already know and been recruited so to speak is pretty awesome.  I’m going to go check it out, see if it’s for me, and go from there.  It’s been another boost in the right direction for me–the direction back towards the stage.

I’ve been struggling with wanting to go back to anonymity, just another face in the crowd, but that’s never really been me.  I’ve always stood out for something, and this is no different.  I’m going back and looking at my show pics and remembering how good that felt, and how proud of myself I was for making that change and that leap, and I do want to go back to that.  So lookout Offseason!  The Force is strong with this Jedi!