A Peek into the Mind of GeminiJedi

I’m a total dork.  And so is Adam.  As I’m suffering through close-grip bench for tri’s tonight, Adam turns to me and says "Think of your muscles as Doozers: they want to be anabolic, not like Fraggles, who eat and destroy and are all catabolic."  I about died laughing.  I LOVE "Fraggle Rock."  Love it.  This analogy was perfect.  My arms hurt still.  I need  to remember to eat more before my workouts.  And sleep.  Sleep sounds wonderful right now.  I just needed to share the nerdom that is us.

To go along with my "Cripe I’m gonna get dwarfed!" epiphany, I also realized that currently I own 25lbs of fat (hopefully my bf has gone down…guess I should get that measured again this weekend).  Where I want to be requires disowning 7 of those, though I would rather own 7 lbs of muscle instead.  I will get there, it takes time…"Patience! You must have patience!" I hear Master Yoda scold constantly.  I know where I’m keeping it all, too.  More leg/glute days for me!!!  That’s not a bad thing, as the fiance needs to grow some quads if he wants to compete too.  Still, it wasn’t exactly a happy thought, but it did keep my thoughts off of class.

Speaking of class, the other people in my nutrition class make converting grams of protein/fat/carbs to kcals so much more difficult than it needs to be.  We spent SO much time on it I really wanted to leave, but I’m taking notes for someone who can’t as part of her ADA accomodations.  Not that I mind.  I’d almost like to tutor it, if I had the time.  And stats is boring the snot out of me.  My dad’s a finance guy, and does LOTS of statistical analysis so I’ve been bombarded with this stuff for years.  Stats really is just looking at the numbers and making conclusions about them–or figuring out how to make them say what you want them to say.  And chem is beating a dead horse, too, which is getting boring.  Thankfully that building has a kick ass wireless network so I can surf the ‘net while in that class.  Hopefully that class will kick in to gear soon, though.

"Now it’s time to say goodbye…."

I woke up this morning not feeling much of any of last night’s workout.  Glutes were a smidge tender, but really nothing much.  I did bump just about everything, probably should have bumped calves for all sets instead of just the last one.  This lasted until about 5 pm.  At this point I had been curled up in a library chair surfing the forums for a couple hours, and needed to get up to go to class.  I stood up and felt my squats in my quads.  It was quite nice to know that something happened last night.

Quick post before beddy-bye.

Legs today.  I didn’t up my squat weight since I’m still perfecting my form.  I tend to zig-zag a smidge when I go down, and since I don’t want to tweak my back and hurt myself, I’m focusing HARD on keeping my torso tight and straight as I go down.  The saying of "if you can sit on a toilet correctly you can squat" is right, but I sit wrong so I squat wrong!! I like to lean forward as I go down.  I really focused on keeping my weight on my heels.  I felt like I was doing it correctly, and did it more correctly than I usually do, but I can’t keep the bar and my torso/body weight moving as one, so that’s the focus for next round.  But I did it better so that’s an improvement!  I think I’ll stick at this weight for 1 more round so I can get the muscle memory.  Bumped weight on dead lifts and press, and for the last set of calves.  I felt really sick during leg press (last exercise of the night) but pushed through all sets   My thighs/butt are where I’m holding my excess adipose, so when I get nauseas working those, I know I’m doing something right.  I started taking Redline capsules, since they were on clearance at the gym (expire at the end of October, so still good!) and I haven’t taken any fatburners in a couple months.  Yay for hot/cold/hot/cold of the evodiamine.

Tomorrow is off/school.  Really I need to sleep so I can get up and finish the homework in the morning and not have to drag my stats book with me tomorrow.

I feel sick to my stomach.  I have since the workout yesterday.  I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve started burning a different fat store of mine.  That’s a good thing, but it means that the fat soluble vitamins are being released and perhaps at slightly toxic levels, as well as the other fat soluble shtuff that has also been released.  Bleh.  But I did manage to push myself through more sets than I thought I was going to be able to the last two days.  I’m actually pretty proud of myself for that.  And I’m quite proud of feeling the correct muscles working–it means that I’m getting stronger and not cheating and using other muscles.  I felt my middle abs during frog crunchies today (yes, I did abs while nauseas.  I figured out why my March abs looked best: abs every day) instead of just my upper abs.  I feel like a 4 year old when I get so excited about feeling my muscles work   Feeling more rear delts, too.  For some reason I’m fascinated with the rear delts.  I absolutely LOVE watching my fiance work his….

Today was one of those days where I felt good about lifting, had a goal and a plan, and failed miserably.  In front of the power lifters, which really irked me.  I was planning on subbing a max-out on leg press for the usual 5×10 set, and was feeling strong.  I had been envisioning it all week.  Loaded on the weight….not happening.  Dropped to what I did last time, ran out of gas, and called it quits on that.  I upped squats, deads and calves, so I guess it wasn’t complete failure.  Deads were fun.  My other gym shorts are dirty, so all that was clean were my booty shorts.  I forgot it was leg day.  Needless to say, some guys were a smidge distracted for a bit.  Though I do have to say I look pretty darned good in them.

I’m taking a nutrition class this semester (I’m actually considering switching my minor to nutrition) and we’re doing a 3 day diet analysis.  Today I felt really depleted, like I didn’t get enough in me.  Turns out I had 1,988 calories today, so I should have been ok.  Not enough carbs (well, to maintain as per the class instructions) so that may have been my problem.  Moral of this story: leg day needs more carbs!  I’m really excited for this class because it should be very informational.  Yes, there are the resources online and I could teach myself, but this will be wonderful.  The instructor has his Ph.D in this stuff!  So much information to pick over….it will be wonderful!

This week has sucked, well, the school days have.  The classes aren’t so bad, it’s been running around getting my financial aid fixed (Monday) then having to get my books today, which left little room for food in between.  I have shakers, yes, and they’re in my backpack, I guess I just don’t think about them like I should.  Next week, though, things will be settled and I can figure out the routine and just do it.  That’s my problem; I know what I should do, I have the plan in my head as to how it’s going to work, I voice that plan, I just don’t necessarily do it.  And that is why I fall short of my goals.

I did eat more than I did on Monday (which was next to nothing).  Tuesday was a  good day, excepting that I got lunch 2 hours late.  Tomorrow will be better, and Friday will be interesting since I’m not working at my home store so I don’t know that I’ll be able to get breaks like I normally do.  And I’ll be working with my ex (he doesn’t know) which will be interesting.  We’re both adults and should be able to keep things professional.  I know I will be able to.  It will be interesting to see his reaction!

Delts have been twitching all day, and I’ve had some pec twitches too.  I still hold that twitching is spontaneous growth

I noticed that tonight at the gym, too: it seemed to be chest day for EVERYONE.  Just wondering…Typically it would be leg day for me, but since I was in classes yesterday…yea.

I had a really weird twitch in my left hamstring today, then in my right delts.  I’m convinced that random twitches mean that muscle is growing (if I believe it enough, it has to be true, right?) so I hope the twitching balances out! LOL  I’ve never had a ham twitch before, lots of delts, biceps and a few tri twitches.  I think I’m going to try for an ab twitch sometime!

Monday was grueling with dealing with financial aid and first day of classes.  Didn’t make it to my cycling class in the morning.  Slept as much as i could this morning.  Tonight was a great workout, and would have been awesome had I not forgotten my gloves.

I bumped everything tonight (regular bench, incline bench, cable lat pulldowns and bent rows) and got through so much more than I thought I could.  What an amazing feeling!  It’s so cool to do something you honestly think you couldn’t do.

Ok, food, homework, sleep.  G’night!!

I had a startling realization crossing the gym the other night–two parts, really: 1) I’m going to be dwarfed on stage, and 2) I NEED DELTS!!!  I think part 2 will help part 1 be not so bad.  I don’t feel quite as bottom-heavy as I once did, although I need to definitely build up my upper body and make my quads not so big…If I would keep my diet clean for long enough that will happen.  But I’ve done well!!  I haven’t given in to my sugar cravings, starting to see more abs again, so I know I’m back on track.  Hams are starting to balance nicer, still need more calves.  I know bodybuilding is a patience game, but if there’s a game I really suck at (besides first-person shooters) it’s patience. *SIGH* I also need to remember that I’m only 8 months into lifting, really only 5 into lifting seriously.  Oh, more cardio is needed too.  That’s supposed to be  Monday and Wednesday mornings.  So far I’m 0 for 1, though if I could tear myself away from my apartment for 45 minutes (30 if I used the fitness center here, but they don’t have a stair mill) I could get it in still…