GO BIG’s BLOG

If you’ve got it flaunt it. How many times have we heard someone say that? No one agrees with this statement more than I do HOWEVER, the operative word in the sentence is IF and unfortunately it seems that the majority of the population have delusions about how they look.
There are those people (READ, WOMAN!!!) who are absolute stunners and cover everything between their necks and their ankles because they believe that “my buts too big, “my guts too fat, “my legs are too wobbly and “my tits are too small/big, while every guy is looking at them and thinking to himself: “Oh my gad! How HOT is that? Shit, I hope my missus didn’t spot me drooling.
These woman’s idiosyncrasies, although painful, are sufferable simply due to the fact that they are the babes that they are however, the flip side of the coin is the real killer. These are the ones that dress in crop-tops with their saggy breasts hanging out the bottom and skin-tight hipsters with their guts hanging over the belt line, and arses with so much cellulite showing through the overstretched material that a blind person would be forgiven for believing it was a brail horror story and trying to read it.
The question that begs to be answered is: Do these people not have a mirror and if they do, do they actually get dressed in the morning, take a look in the mirror and think, “Shit I look damn hot or do they think “Hot damn, I look like shit and then go out and subject the unsuspecting masses to their disproportionate mass regardless?

Now before I get charged (rightly or wrongly) of being a sexist on top of everything else I’m accused of, lets take a look at the male population.
Come on guys, lets face the facts. It doesn’t matter whether you are the proverbial pencil, the beer-chugging-fat-bellied couch potato, the buff male model or the hulking bodybuilder, whether you are young and virile or old and flaccid, we all believe that we are God’s gift to women, the greek god of their dreams. We all believe that they want us for things other than mowing the lawn, changing the light bulb, fixing the toaster and unblocking the drain once they’ve clogged the bloody thing up in the first place, but let’s face it, the thing they want you to whip out the most is not what you think it is, it’s the gold card you idiot. Which brings me to another point. Sorry, I must digress..

If the chicks don’t want you to be whipping out your schlong at every opportunity, what the **** makes you think that the other guys in the gym want you to display your endowment, or lack thereof, as though it’s the bloody Eiffel Tower or some other tourist attraction. Nobody cares, to see your family jewels, mate, so there’s no need to walk around the change room “born free, or stand at the basin shaving with your dick dangling on the basin where some poor unsuspecting person is going to be washing his face later. And besides, the fact that it reaches the basin doesn’t mean you’ve got a big dick doofus, it just means you’ve got short legs, and then there’s those of you whose woman told you you’ve got a penis like a lion so you parade around proudly displaying it, thinking it’s a monster when what she meant was it “looks like a lion, all you can see is the head and a mane.

Reliable sources tell me that pretty much the same thing goes on in the ladies change rooms (scary thought that, woman shaving with their bits hanging on the basin), and from what I hear it’s not the stunners standing around naked, apparently those that do stand a more than good chance of winning the “best of breed title at the Epol show. So, come on people, show some decorous behaviour and save the gym from putting up signs that say “No paparazzi - please refrain from taking photo’s in the change rooms if you don’t show it … the perverts can’t snap it.

Like at Christmas, it doesn’t matter what gift you give, if you wrap it properly, it’ll be better received!

Here she is, my main rave, the one who motivates and inspires me, bitches n moans when I’m grumpy, lives through all my trials and tribulations and generally keeps me on the straight and narrow. Wouldn’t be who I am without her!