Bodybuilding Lifestyle and Relationships
I am not to sure how to start this, so I will just let er rip!
I was recently dumped by a girl I had dated for a while who was talking about marriage and stuff like that right up until the end. Less than a week later she is dating someone else. I think the end had to do with my highly disciplined lifestyle. I have worked out and had a “bodybuilder” lifestyle since I was 15, but since I had know her (the past two years) I have been battling back from a severely sprained neck and blown-out back from a car accident. I fought off having her as a g/f for the majority of that time because I did not think that I would be a good b/f because I was a “gimp” and we became “best friends” in the process. I learned to trust her completely because she fought so hard to earn it. I am not the most trusting guy in the world and once she got everything she wanted, she did not want it anymore. I think it had a lot to do with my not living a “normal” lifestyle even though I told her that was how it was going to be long before we ever got to that stage of the game. Not only that, I made a lot of compromises that were not in my best interest to help make it easier on her.
I guess before I turn this into a huge novel I will get right to the point, do you any of you think that having this type of lifestyle is keeping you from enjoying your life fully? I have found that it is really difficult to find someone that has what it takes to understand that I need to eat clean all of the time (for my health to continue to recover from my accident, not just for my appearance) and that being disciplined is a very good quality to have….to go along with my amazing sense of humor (I always had her and everyone else rolling) that is not featured here on this post due to my state of mind.
Any feedback is appreciated if you can relate or have any insight! 
June 24, 2007 at 6:17 pm
i think when you find the right person, your lifestyle wont matter. my bf is very supportive even though he never works out and eats crap all day everyday. hopefully you can find a girl that loves and respects everything about you, and wont ask you to change or compromise who you are!
dont let her bring you down
June 24, 2007 at 6:40 pm
I admire your honesty! I must say, I completely find this to be true at the moment, Only I currently live with family. Instead of watching a movie friday night-ill go work out. Or leaving the table earlier so I can get on the tredmill, They understand, but its not for them. They do make it hard for me to have this mindset. Always baking, ordering fast food, or just tempting me with baked goods. Its hard, but I am not even where I need to be, diet wise.
When they say bodybuilding/fitness is a lifestyle. It really is. You either have it or not. And, then, many people are at different stages than we are! People just need to respect that. I dont find it personally too much of an issue for me. Its physical work, and at some points harder than going out or having fun, but worth it.
Im currently not in a relationhship, but Id like to think I could help the person exercise wise and diet wise. If not, i hope they understand the importance of it for me.
:)
June 30, 2007 at 9:40 pm
My best girl friend is worried that my fiance is going to turn me "manly" and thinks eating clean is a chore. It kind of is, being inundated with McD’s and baked goods and a generally unhealthy American foodscape, but feeling as good as I do keeps me going. Feeling as bad as I do when I cheat (physically, not just guilt) keeps me going. My family is a bit more respectful of it, if not totally understanding. I thank God for my fiance and his family and the fact that they’re not only supportive of us, but try to live the lifestyle with us!
Bodybuilding is a small world, and I’m sure that eventually you’ll find someone who’s either just like you, or can learn about and appreciate it. It’s not "normal" but it certainly feels better than the norm.
July 1, 2007 at 2:03 am
I am a bit different in that respect, I am training and taking my health more seriously so I can attract a better type of women. I like the women body builders not only because fit women are sexy, but they are more goals orientated and know what they want.
The one that took you for granted will have problems with ‘Karma’ down the road for taking advantage of you. If she was into head games she is better off messing with her new guys head. Be happy she is gone and I am sure you will find better soon. Just look at how amazing the women are on this site alone.
July 19, 2007 at 11:23 am
You just need to find someone with the same priorities that you have. My boyfriend and I are both trying to eat as healthy as we can and we make dates to work out together. If a girl dumps you because of your health lifestyle then she doesn’t like you as much as she should have. It should be dumping you if you are making her unhealthy. I say good riddance and you will find someone who will want to be with you soon enough. In the meantime keep being healthy and no one can love you until you love yourself!
Also thanks for the great post on my blog
July 19, 2007 at 11:32 am
Let’s see… A healthy lifestyle or an overbearing insecure broad. Gee…. Let me think. Use your brain kid. If she’s not part of your team, she’s not part of her life. That’s not to say she may need some personal and spiritual growth of which, being her best friend should be something you can both talk about. To be a leader, you must have a follower.
August 5, 2007 at 10:30 am
Hhhhmmmm… I’m sorry you got to experience that while recovering from serious injury. That just seems to add to the disappointment of being knocked out of what you love to do, but couldn’t.
From what you wrote it would seem to me that she was unfortunately playing games. "Once she got what she wanted, she didn’t want it anymore" - not all of us are like that. I find it easier to be dating someone who is also health concious, not necesarily another body builder (that becomes competition), but someone who takes their life & health seriously & not for granted. That’s just my experience.
I agree with the young lady @ the top of the page… when you find someone right for you, it won’t matter, cause she’ll understand.
Good Luck & Keep pumpin!!!
August 6, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Take what you can from the relationship and move forward. If the person you were with was unsupportive of something that you are so passionate about they are not the right one for you. A true love will support you unconditionally.. Best of luck with all of your goals!!!
August 9, 2007 at 6:36 am
Uncanny. I’ve had a very similar experience recently leading to my own breakup. My g/f of 2 years never got the lifestyle and thinks it is obsessive and psychologically unhealthy. Im sure it can be in some cases, but that’s not what its about, and she isn’t getting that. She resists the life and (subtly) discourages me from my own bb goals although I don’t think she really intends to. I’ve tried not to nag her to live the life even though that’s what I want, and if I can do it while just out of lawschool and helping to run a karate school on the side, I don’t see why anyone else can’t unless physique-minded/lifestyle goals are not a priority. Does this mean you and I shouldn’t date someone who isn’t a bodybuilder or fitness person again? Seriously confusing. Good luck my friend, I know the boat you’re in.