Flighty931’s BodyBlog

Alright all you fellow fitness fiends! 

Here’s the scoop…

I don’t usually spill my guts like this to anyone cuz I’m usually quite the private gal BUT times are really hard for me right now and I could really use the emotional support!  I’ve have hit a major "fork" in my road of life.  I don’t know what the deal is and I don’t care if you judge me.  I’m trying to get to the bottom of everything and get my life back on track and I’m putting this out there for those of you who give a damn about other people (like I normally do). 

In January of this year I started training for a Figure Competition.  It was scheduled for May 10th.  I even hired a judge of the competition to help me with my diet and hold me accountable for my weekly weigh ins.  I was training hard EVERYDAY.  The judge insisted on me doing something everyday in order to reach my goals.  I started out at 143 lbs. and I went thru a cutting phase from December of 07′ thru April. Throughout that time I was sick, had a rib out of place and was stressed out from the guy I was dating but I kept on goin.  My diet got more and more restricted to nothing more than egg whites, oats, cottage cheese, peanut butter, brown rice (once a day) and a handful of greens with lunch and dinner and chicken or tilapia or tuna for my protein sources for lunch and dinner.  He even cut out my splurge meals I was allowed to have on Saturdays.  I got down to about 123 lbs and was looking pretty good but I was still really unhappy with my stomach and "saddlebag area" and I also wanted to look more muscular (but I know it’s not easy to build muscle while trying to cut fat).   I was also extremely grouchy, irritable, foggy, had trouble focusing on anything and was tired a majority of the time and never felt like doing anything but work, eat, workout, and sleep.  I freaked when I got closer to competition time cuz I knew I wasn’t ready to go on stage and so I started gorging like crazy on my weakness…sweets.  I swear I needed to be checked into the Betty Crocker clinic!

Now, I still have the deposit and the details for my competition suit on hold, but I’m back up to 152 lbs!!!  I’m so angry with myself.  I haven’t stopped lifting regularly but I HATE, HATE, HATE my cardio and my eating habits were severly off track for a couple months.  I’ve been going thru a ton of stress due to my break up with the guy I was with and moving back home to the Quad City area and now I’m struggling horribly financially, I have no family to fall back on for help emotionally or financially and now the doctors are saying I’m depressed and have me taking anti-depressants.  THIS IS NOT WHO I AM!!  I have absolutely NO EMOTIONAL support nor do I have the income to pay for professional help but I REALLY want to do a competition and not give up on this!!  I can’t do it alone so I’m asking for your help to anybody out there willing to put forth the effort.  I know it’s gotta be my final decision to follow thru on things but it certainly would help if I knew I had more emotional support to get me thru this tough time in my life and help me stay on track.  I could also use some help with the nutritional aspect of my diet.  I know the basics (I have also done some personal training myself) but I’m not fully educated on the diet and I know that’s a big part of it.  I need to go into this not feeling so tired and grouchy all the time and I think the severe restrictions on my diet that the judge did for me were causing alot of my fatigue and I was most definitely overtraining.  Please let me know who is out there reading this and if you are willing to help! 

Thanks a million!!

Danielle

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