So sad…but So true..lol.
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009” No woman will ever be truly satisfied… because no
man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates
money.”
Archive for February, 2009
Cardio bunny my A**….lol.
Friday, February 20th, 2009Awwww….. the world is how it should be again. I was given some advice to man up and start bulking….lol….Ass. Yeah, so thats what I did. I felt pretty good this morning so was able to hit the floor again. Cardio bunny my Ass….. I luv ta lift.
I hit chest and tri’s this morning and let me tell you it felt great. The gym was pretty dead this morning until about 5:15am rolled around and really I like it that way. I like working out once in a while with no one around. It was nice.
God I cant wait to get to the gym tomorrow morning….. is that pretty sick when you look that forward to your workouts. Pretty sad…huh.
Dam Cardio Bunny got me again…….
Thursday, February 19th, 2009Dam it anyways…….LOL. I got to the gym this morning and hit the elliptical and did my cardio. Yeah….yeah…. It sucked me in again. I got some extra stretching in which felt much needed so I am happy there. Hehehe…… So anyways I need a little bit of active rest anyways so I know…… It’s not the end of the world. It just feels like it.
I’ll be back to hittin the wts tomorrow and slackin on my cardio…. and the world will be just as it should. Just kidding guys. LOL
The best idea ever….lol.
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009Life’s short run Naked……….. yeah Naked……….. no dummy completely naked, how many times are you going to make me repeat myself here. LOL Just kidding. Im bored.
Cardio Bunny….WTF
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009Well this morining was supposed to be leg day but I woke up still kind of sore so I didnt get to do I workout. I still went to the gym and did some cardio but you know I was on the elliptical doing my cardio and usually it is me and 3 or 4 other guys on the floor lifting and this morning I was stuck on the michine doing my dumb ass cardio lookin like a cardio bunny. How freakin lame am I? I felt like such a girly girl….yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I am a girl.
I know everyone needs to do there cardio at some point but My cardio always comes after a good workout. Hmmmm…… well what do you do but get butt hurt, complaine and then carry on…lol.
Everyone needs a good chuckle @ some point.
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009Alright….. it’s the beginning of the week and everyone need a good laugh at some point. This did it for me…..lol.
The Blind Cowboy
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
“Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times!”
15 ways to annoy people…lol.
Tuesday, February 17th, 20091. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
6. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…"
10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
12. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
2. Practice making fax and modem noises.
7. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
13. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
5. Pretend your computer’s mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
11. Ask people what gender they are.
3. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
15. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!&quo
t;
8. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
14.Make a list of way to annoy people and mark them out of numerical order.
Well now that I got you to read my blog and hopefully you got a kick out of it…. I know I did. Here comes the boring part. Yeah you get to hear about my workout this morning. Well…… it was grrrrrrrreat. How is that. Short, sweet and to the point.
Have a good morning.
PICTURE OF A PERFECT MAN …….
Monday, February 16th, 2009Come on take a looksy…….you know you wanna.……………………………………..
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Scroll down a little further.
Little more…..
Little more…..
Little more…..
Oh come on Did you
really think there was one???
The Purina Diet
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that, No, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish setter’s ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won’t let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy Shit to say.
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