Euro4Ever’s BodyBlog

This is probably going to sound silly and stupid, but hoping someone out there can relate!

I’m a bit of a recluse. I’ve never been good at meeting people,  have a hard time looking someone in the face, and I don’t really "speak with confidence", unless it’s with someone I really know. (Then I’m a total loudmouth, lol)

On the physical side of things.. I haven’t really cared about what I look like since the weight gain. I don’t invest in nice clothes (fat clothing stores really rape you with prices, that doesn’t help!).. I’ve never spent more than $10 on a purse.. I don’t wear makeup unless I "have to".

Well, the clothes thing isn’t going to change anytime soon. I’ve decided I’ll buy clothes on an as-needed basis till I’m at my goal weight. Really doesn’t make sense to spend much in the meantime! The jeans I have now are a full size too big.. but I have a pair of jeans that’s about 1 size too small for me now, so I’ll deal with these till I fit those.. then buy new ones every 2 sizes along the way. Fair enough, right?

Anyway, I digress. That totally wasn’t what I was planning to write about.

Here’s the deal though.. Yesterday, I actually started looking for a decent handbag that I like. Not the cheapest I can find, and I’m NOT allowing myself to buy it from walmart,  either.  I found a few that I could settle for, but that would have defeated the purpose.  Kinda makes me feel a little more adult.. even though I’m damn near 30! LOL. I actually found one I like - with a matching wallet - but they come to like $100 with shipping. EEEK! Not entirely sure I’m ready for that (I’m still frugal!!), but the fact that I’m seriously considering it is a HUGE step for me.
This wasn’t actually the first time I noticed a weird side effect that could be attributed to this. Since I started on Jan 18 (22 lbs ago!).. I’ve been a LOT better about talking to strangers. I was at an industry event on Thursday, and was actually sort of comfortable! Even introduced myself to a few people. The BEST was when I had a convo with someone, then told them I had someone for THEM to meet, and dragged them over to meet a friend of mine, hooking them up. I have NEVER had the balls to do anything like that! It was exhilerating! I even looked people in the face! I know what everyone I met looked like!

So.. between that and the purse thing, I’m feeling pretty good.

Maybe I’ll go put some makeup on, while I’m at it!

So, I have about 18 hours till my follow up appointment.

The interesting (annoying?) thing is that by late yesterday, the pain was almost all gone - my shoulder blade had gone back to almost normal. It’s good that it feels better, but the "no uncertain terms" about not doing ANYTHING till the follow up appointment.. that sucks. I almost caved and did an upper body workout last night, hubby talked me out of it.

Can’t wait to be given the clear!

So, I’ve had a pretty crapola week.  well, crapola past 3 days, but it SEEMS like a full week.

It started when I woke up on Wednesday morning. I had screaming pain in the side of my face and back of my head, and shooting down the left side of my back. I was nauseous, threw up a few times, and couldn’t even open my eyes. When I did, it was like someone was shining a bright light right across my eyes. UGH. I had migraines from time to time when I was in my early-mid teens, but haven’t had one in over a decade. This was a bit different than those were, but HORRIBLE nonetheless. Bawling your eyes out at 4am is NO way to start the day!!!!
By Thursday morning, the pain had subsided into a low grade headache, and I was able to get some work done. It was a looong day - supplied some goodies for an industry event.. and it ran late. Given the lack of restful sleep since the "migrane" type pain that woke me up the day before, I was really looking forward to sleeping.

Well, woke up early this morning in a TON of pain! It was a light headache, a bit of neck pain, and screaming pain in a C shape around my left shoulder blade. Couldn’t lay on my back, couldn’t roll over, couldn’t move my arm. Yay!

Called the chiropractor I haven’t seen in a year. Well, turns out he’s not open on Fridays. UGH!!! Scheduled an emergency appointment with a chiro at the local hospital. Got hooked up to electrodes and shot up with electricity… massaged a bit, adjusted.. and now it’s a bit looser. still painful, but not nearly as bad.

I still have NO idea what I did. I haven’t been able to find 5 minutes to lift this week, and I didn’t *do* anything to it. No obvious reason for the injury, and that sort of pisses  me off.

So, I have another appointment for Monday, and I’m not allowed to do ANYTHING to aggravate it in the meantime. If it’s a lot better by then, he said he "may" clear me to start lifting again. AAAGH!!! With this week being as crazy as it was, I was really looking forward to some hardcore training today/this weekend to blow off some steam!!!!!

So I was browsing other blogs, and was inspired by MissNfinity’s  Ipod playlist post.  Here’s what I listen to when working out. I don’t really differentiate between "cardio" music and "weight" music.. I just listen to stuff that gets me ready to MOVE, no matter what I’m doing:

Hang on, Here We Go - Jet Fuel
Rhythym of Love - DJ Company
Take her Home - Fito Blanco
Alive - Da Buzz
Take me Up - Amadin
Captain Jack - Captain Jack
Touch the Sky - Cartouche
Emotion - Anaklein
Drill Instructor - Captain Jack
Rock DJ - Robbie Williams
Paradise - E-Type
Me and You - Alexia
Think about The Way - Ice MC
Dr Love - E-Rotic
Freedom - DJ Bobo
Gotta Get it Groovin - E-Rotic
World Hold On - Bob Sinclar
Rock This Party - Bob Sinclar
Do it All Night - E-Rotic
Take Your Chance - Fun Factory
Got To Get It - Culture Beat
Self Control - Infernal
Sixteen Tons of Hardware - Bodies Without Organs
Por Que No - Martillo Vago
Poison - Groove Coverage
Cotton Eyed Joe - Rednex
Swamp Thing - BKS

I’ve got hundreds more (300+ CDs of this stuff! Been a collector for years), but this is my current rotation.  It’s all very uplifting, fun, happy and energetic music. LOVE it!

So now I have no idea what to say. I guess an introduction is in order?

Well, let’s see.. I’m a chef. Pastry chef, specifically. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve heard it a lot - it actually had nothing to do with my weight gain. About 10 years ago, my thyroid decided it hated me, and I gained 100 lbs in 3 months. This was all long before I arrived in my career. I’ve never liked junk food, and I don’t eat the stuff I make. I’m not really a sweets person
After years of every kind of cardio (in crazy amounts!) not doing anything, and being on crappy thyroid meds.. I’m finally on the right track. I’ve found the best diet for me (paleo), I’m finally on good thryoid meds after finding a good Dr (FINALLY!), and I recently gave up on the "cardio to lose weight" myth. The diet helps - I’ve always eaten pretty healthy, but giving up the grains (turns out I was allergic!) and dairy have REALLY helped.

I used to weight train (lower body only, though) all of the time as a teen,and my legs were pretty damn buff - it was really easy to pack on muscle back then, and I’m hoping it still works that way. Both my Dr and I have decided that cardio just doesn’t work for me, and that I need to go back to what I know worked.. our theory is that only me slabbing on muscle will REALLY work against my thyroid to lose the weight I’ve been fighting to lose since this happened.

So, in mid January this year, I got serious. I’ve since lost 20 lbs! I have an overall goal of 105 lbs to lose, which I’m considering to be a tentative goal until I’m closer and can reassess. At this point, no one can really guesstimate what my ideal weight will be. I used to think that it would be nice to lose the fat AND some of my remaining bulky muscle (quads and glutes are still prominent, despite the fat!) and have "normal" long thin legs. I’ve really come a long way from that thinking.. I want muscle, and lots of it.

So here I go! I’m finding that I actually really enjoy the upper body training I shunned in my teens. My biceps are getting bigger and LUMPY! (WOo!! You can SEE muscle through the fat!), and I’m excited! Hubby is very supportive, and if all goes well,I should look like I’m SUPPOSED TO by September!