ElmCityLady’s BodyBlog

Yeah so no more fooling around for me. I got up at 6:30am today and I plan on that everyday.

It has been so hard to find a job that I have not had enough money to get to the gym, because of no gas in my car. I had my ways of getting money so now I have a full tank and no excuse. I wish the gym wasnt a pain in the ass to get to.

My boyfriend has been having an attitude lately. He wont let me go to the gym with anyone without starting a massive war. I dont bother him when he does his thing, and I dont usually question what he does (unless I want to join him) I would LOVE to have my boyfriend come to the gym with me, even in my unemployed state I offered to pay for his membership to the gym ( who knows how ill pay, but thats beside the point) Jealousy is ugly, thats for sure. I feel like he does not trust me.

The one thing i dont understand, If im going to go to the gym alone, what is the difference if I go with someone who will help me get a better workout and not hurt myself?

Beside that, Ive been trying hard to drop these habits. Even last night, I made a carb based dinner (pasta ***ioli) I figured with the carbs and proteins, its not that bad, but because there is no meat, Jake goes to mcdonalds, eats 2 cheeseburgers, 2 orders of nuggets, fries, and then my dinner.

Phew, now that I got that out of my system.

I am tyring to hard with this positivity thing, and I feel wonderful today (maybe its the coffee) But all I know is I am going to make myself and my house sparkle today, hydrate myself to the fullest possible extent, and go give my blood tomorrow.

Yay new year! new me! back in size 10 pants by july! healthier and hotter =]    

Lately I’m GO GO GO GO. Finally somewhere in life other than behind the wheel.

I can’t get enough sweat, it’s better than beer. I’ve been blowing off all responsibility to go to the gym and go nuts, I am so motivated. I look at all these pictures of girls up here and I know how I want to look, and I know I am more beautiful than almost every chick up here. I dont want my boobs getting small though. Everytime I go to the gym everyone looks at me when I lift weights and I dont care if I look stupid or people think I’m gay. I have tattoos and I lift weights, and eventually I will be able to push the limit farther. I am recruiting many friends and think I finally found my weekday workout bud, to go along with my Sunday ‘trainer’ (who better not blow me off again !!) and leave me with Saturdays off so I can go shoot some guns. I have so much energy while my boyfriend has already been snoring for 2 hours, I wish I had some kind of workout equipment at my place. I cheated today, and had some italian ice, but who could resist Wooster St? I’m trying hard, eggs, salad, and prime rib today. I had a good dinner that made me very energized.

The doctor is putting me back on birth control to deal with these cysts, Im not looking foward to it. The only thing I am looking foward to is being the hot 153 pound chick I was when I met my boyfriend, then maybe once again he will fling me over his shoulder. 

Excitement makes it hard to sleep.  

Today I got some of the worst news I’ve ever been forced to live with. I went for an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries and I found out I have polycystic ovary disease. As I’m looking at the screen, the technician is explaining to me what shes seening, and one move of the wand and she says "Here’s our problem. Heres a cyst, and here is another cyst on top of that one." I turned my head away from the screen in hopes her nor my boyfriend would see tears rolling down my face, but as soon as the lights got turned on, it was pretty evident. The tech, carol, told me everything would be okay and that Jake (my boyfriend) would take me out for ice cream, which made me more upset. So I have to live with this obnoxious live stopping pain until I can talk to the doctor on monday. We went out for breakfast and I had a spinach omelet and I didnt even eat it. I picked at my home fries though, cause I know I wont be eating carbs anymore. I came home and went to bed and just woke up. I’m making myself a pot of yum soup with chard, carrot, celery, beans and turkey meat balls. It smells good in here. Hopefully it will take away some of the depression that im going to have this problem intermittently until menopause. mlehhh… I want a beer

Worst of all I have plans go to to the bar with my brother tonight, and I dont know whether I should tell him tonight or wait. I dont want to riun his night too

I blew off work today (and yesterday).  I went to the gym and cranked out 375 calories on the eliptical in 25 minutes. Then went to a machine and did some arm exercises. Went back the the eliptical and did 100 more calories, and then lifted some weights. I went back to the eliptical again and took it really slow for 5 minutes. Now I’m about to eat a yummy salad = ]

 I am much happier going to the gym and doing something for myself and going to work and handling HIV blood. Now that I am motivated, I just needed that time alone. I need one whole day to myself, I can plan my meals and do my things around the house. PMA PMA PMA PMA

When my boyfriend is around, I just feel like there is way more of a chance I’m going to blow it for myself. I love him, and I know he loves me but hes some of the reason I’m in this fat situation. I just don’t want his bad eating habits affecting me anymore. I am trying to discipline myself to being independent about cooking my own dinners, and not making mashed potatoes and baking pumpkin bread. I hope he doesnt get pissed hes not getting the meals he wants everynight, but even though I’m changing the way I eat, Sunday dinners have been a tradition in my family for 80 years, so I know there is no avoiding the pasta and sauce. Maybe a switch to wheat pasta? = ]

I wish I could stay home and clean and do pushups all day.

Breakfast = 1 egg, 1 egg white, handful of spinach, 2 mini turkey sausages. 1 cromium pill, and a protein shake.

Lunch - packing salad - spinach, dried cranberries, carrot, green pepper, walnuts.

I really dont want to go to work mlehhh 

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