Ellena’s BodyBlog

Hi all!

 Just wanted u all 2 know that I had an awesome time tonight at the gym. Back and tris with double cardio and abs. 

The other day I posted bout my legs killin’ me after my workout, and still do 2day. That’s an awesome feeling. I went and kicked them out with the cardio you all said to "just not think about it and do it". So I did it that night, yesterday and today.

Just wanted to share the awesome feeling I have. LOL!

Happy New Year All! Ur all a great inspiration!

Hey all,

 Just wanted to say that I hope you are all having wonderful holidays!

First of all let me explain.  I’ve been pretty steady with my weight and training. I have to get my red blood cell count (ferenate) back up so I’m limited to 1hr a day 4-5days a week until the doc says I’m up to par.

Now, I’ll fully admit that I haven’t had my hands tied back over the holidays. I am a binge eater, not a closet eater and sometimes my mind doesn’t register with my stomach to tell me to stop. If it tastes good, I keep going. And I don’t even get embarrased in front of anyone because I’m concentrating so hard on what I’m eating, I’m not noticing anyone looking at me. Or even if they are. LOL!  And I’m not afraid to admit it.

Good thing, I don’t have much around me in my own home. I do have and have made baked goods for the holidays, but have taken most of them to work or have given them away.  But it still doesn’t stop me from eating.

Now, it was bad Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and boxing day. Today I’ve cut way back but will fully admit that I’ve had some treats.  Tomorrow back at work, eat clean. I know I might slack during New year’s Eve or day not both.

My question is, how do I stop? I’ve been told that when I crave the sugar to just drink plenty of water. That’s pretty easy when sweets are not around. I’ve done it and know that it takes up to 3 days to get that out of your system.

How do I get through the 3 days?

I could wear my retainer to work, but I don’t think my clients will understand my slurring. LOL!

Hey all,

 A little cry for help, motivation, reassurance or whatever you want to call it.

 I wrote a post a while back about getting back into the swing of things.  That was easy compared to this.

 I haven’t been to the gym I would say in a month.  I threw my back out for a week and a half from shovelling snow and got a pinched nerve.  Finally one night (Thursday that wk), I decided to go work on legs and give my back even another few days to recoup, and I still had a pinched nerve in the upper back.  I kicked out legs so hard that I couldn’t walk for 4 days and still had my glutes hurt until the following Tuesday. 

I’m a hairdresser, as I’ve stated and had pulled holiday hrs, 10-12hrs over the next few days. As I finally got through the weekend, I shoveled heavy snow again on the Sunday, which kicked out my back for another week.  During that week I also felt really tired, dizzy, didn’t want to stomach food etc. By Friday that wk, I was taking blood tests and left work early in the afternoon to almost falling asleep at the wheel 4x’s and having some of my joints and bones hurt.  I woke up the next morning to all of my joints, muscles and bones in severe pain and feeling very faint like.  I spent the day in the hospital to find out I had a viral flu that has taken a week and a half to get through, my joints back to normal by that Thursday, and now finally have got enough energy to go back to the gym. 

I have not gained any weight but have felt like I have "flubbed" out. That time frame has been the longest time ever away from the gym since I started there last Jan.  I can’t believe at how bad I feel.  As much as my health is important, I can’t begin to tell you that I felt like I’ve lost myself somewhere.  My life has changed this past year and don’t like the fact that I have to end 2007 like this. 

I have had my bag packed in my Jeep for a couple of days and am finally off to the gym. They have had holiday hrs and I haven’t been able to go since they’ve closed at 10 and I get off at 9. 

I feel I need support to go back. Not because I don’t want to but because I’m afraid about having to step back a little and can’t kick into full force like I used to.  To even know that I might not be able to pull the last weight I did will discourage me.

 The other thing is that I don’t actually feel comfortable going into the main gym.  I usually work out with everyone and I know many people.  I feel like I want to lock myself up on the women’s only side until I gear up again.  I don’t like the insecure feeling that I’ve now gotten.  I only worked out in there for the first couple of months, for one, I didn’t know anyone on the other side yet and second, my circuits that I was set up with, were only set up for that side.

 I don’t know why I’m feeling like this but it saddens me. 

Hey everyone,

 Here’s a little backup.  Went on vacation on Nov 17 for a week and returned on the 24th.  Worked out a bit that week. I thought I could take the whole week off but it wasn’t happening.  I got back and wanted to ease into it.  Went and did my 3 days of weight training with cardio and abs, and did another 2 days of cardio. 

 Took the next weekend off from Nov 30th, being my birthday and decided that it would be my treat  to have it off with cake that I love the most.  

 Got quite a bit of snow here and pulled my back out that resulted in back pain where I couldn’t do any workouts and ended up getting a pinched nerve.  It has been 12 days.  I have not taken that kind of time off from the gym since I started a year ago.  If anything it is my 1st yr anniversary at the gym.

 I’m going back tomorrow, and the pinched nerve is on my upper back.  I will be able to train at least legs and do some cardio.

How do I get the push to go back since I’ve been off for so long?  I’ve noticed I’ve been really tired.

 Nervous

Hey everyone,

 Got back from the gym a little while ago.  I’m a little dissapointed. 

 I train in the evenings, pretty late and have a great trainer who comes in late for me. 

I trained tonight and in the middle of working legs, I got to do an exercise that had to work my legs as well as balance. 

I had a hard time with balancing since my core muscles are weak, especially my back ones.  I got through the exercise and was frustrated enough because I couldn’t do it like everyone else.  I know that balance and strength come with time but it still frustrated me.  Many times I guess I attempt things I know that I could get through.  When I can’t, well, I have a hard time with it but keep practicing until it gets easier.

 I’m not venting on my instability during the exercise but for some comment that was said behind me while trying.  I know that I’m not the most fit person and still very overweight and underdeveloped, which I’m sure will come in time. I just don’t understand why some people are so rude.

One person had asked why I was doing the exercise and my trainer said that we were working legs but that my strenght in my core is weak so we were working on it.  He threw a comment which was quite insulting ( won’t repeat it), and it didn’t even have to do with the exercise but with the way I looked and that’s why "I couldn’t complete it properly".  My trainer tried explaining that I usually work hunched over because of my job (hairstylist), that’s why my back muscles are shot.  Before he could explain, the comment was thrown out, I gave the guy a hard stare through the mirror and because I was in the middle of completing my exercise, had lost the chance to say anything.

My trainer noticed that I wasn’t myself and thought that I was feeling that way because of him.  I tried telling him that it had nothing to do with him but also wouldn’t explain as to why I was quiet.  It ruined the rest of my night and training session. 

Sometimes things like this make you want to quit.  I won’t, but sometimes you wonder. I love going and I know that’s all that matters but why do people have to be so mean?

 Thanks for letting me vent.

A few years ago when I was in the middle of losing 115lbs, I was told to keep a Food Diary, of everything I ate.  I started doing it and I came to a point where I resented doing it. Not because I hated myself for indulging in something I shouldn’t have and felt bad, but the fact that my list looked long. 

In my list being long, meant that I felt like I was eating too much and I should start eliminating food from my list so it would look shorter.  In other words, I wasn’t eating bad things but  make it look like I was eating less.

 The sad part of it that it didn’t matter what was on the list, it was the length of it that made it look scary.  It came to a point that I wouldn’t eat something just so I wouldn’t have to write it down so the list didn’t look long.  It was playing tricks with my mind.

 The list would look like this:

Egg whites and Oatmeal.

Protein drink or bar

Tuna and salad

8 almonds and 1/2 an apple

Chicken, salad and palm size serving of long grain rice

1 cofee

2 litres of water.

Even if I tried writing it on one line so it would decieve my eyes, it didn’t work.  I would start cutting things out.  How much more simple can one person get?  It’s not like I was trying to eat that clean, let’s face it, I’m not training for anything, I’m just trying to eat just as normal as I can since it’s a lifetime commitment.  

That is a list from some of the stuff I eat now. I didn’t even eat that clean and still lost my weight.  It was just the fact that my list looked long and started eliminating foods, which in turn, almost started starving myself without noticing.

So I stopped.  People always said that I should stick with it but I felt different by relying on writing in a book.  I knew I did something wrong when I did it.  I wouldn’t feel that much worse writing it down. I knew my fault.

Now, some years have passed, started a great exercise program that has weights and cardio combined and decided I would give it another chance.  I want to be able to write things down, since my eating habits changed and working my body differently requires me to fuel it differently.

Wish me luck.  Hopefully I won’t fall into that rutt again.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed.