DurkaDurkaMJ’s BodyBlog

Five days of eating clean and I already feel better.  It’s amazing that after falling off the wagon for a little over two years (exercise/eating cean) that I can already feel the difference in my body.  I’m still a looooong way from where I need to be in the gym but I know what direction to head.   I just need to stay focused and remember I can not only get to where I was physically, I can can surpass that point.

It’s always a good weekend when I can go visit my son.  The downside is that it is an 8 hour drive both ways.  Definitely alot of time to think about what is going on in my life and what the last two years have done to both my motivation and the good old self esteem.  I’m glad that I am finally able to shake this cloud of depression and self loathing that has been smothering me.  I’m glad that I am back in the gym (although not back to a full time routine, but still back).  I’m glad that I really know who my friends are and that I know that they truely care about me.

I’m really looking to shake up my routine.  I’ve got the cardio down pat at this point.  Does anyone have any suggestions or a good lifting plan?   I’m game to try anything at this point.

Anyone have any input on the V-Diet? 

Well I am no where close to achieving my February goals.  In fact I think I might have slipped some this past month.  Ugh,  what is wrong with me?  I need to get my head back in the game.  I’m starting a new job next week so I should be happy right?

Well I broke down and had my bodyfat percentage done yesterday.  Strangely enough it was almost a year to the day that I received it last.  My BF was at approx 21% and I’m still at 208.  I have lost inches on my stomach and thighs.  These are the two places that I store all my fat.  Itty bitty chest and big belly.  hahahahaha

What sucks is that a year ago I was 211 and had about 24% BF.  What a waste 2007 was, ugh when I think about what I could of accomplished.   Well having to change my career after 17+ years might have had something to do with the meotional eating. 

Well I hit my short term fat loss goal 1 day before expected.  Woo Hoo!  I first I thought the home scale was toying with my emotions again but I double checked it at the gym and lo and behold target reached! physically I can’t see a difference yet but as long as the weight keeps coming off I’m happy.

Now I just have to get into a weight lifting groove.  Although I have been working out regularly I still don’t feel that I am pushing myself as hard as I can.  Cardio is a different story, I’m a puddle when I get done running.

Sushi, I loooove sushi.  I made the decision that it is going to be my cheat meal for the week.  Of course it has to be the sushi buffet. (Why limit myself right?)  I’m standing in line with my plate when this "little bit of a thing" and I start talking.  She obviously worked out and had to weigh at most 105 lbs soaking wet.   SHe also mentioned that this was her cheat meal and she was glad that she had already working out in the morning.  

I have never in my life seen someone so little eat so much sushi in my life.  I lived in Okinawa on 3 different occasions and was a fixture at Sushi-Go-Round every weekend too.  I am still trying to figure out where she put all that food. 

Other than that the weekend was pretty clean as far as diet.  I didn’t stick to the 6 meals a day and the water consumption was off but no weight gain either. 

Can anyone recommend a really tasty low carb protein?  I’ve tried several different types over the years but am looking for something that actually tastes good when mixed with water.

There was an interesting "Brown-Bag" lecture session today at work.  (As a side note, lunch was greasy mexican food which I did not partake in.)  The lecture ended with the speaker asking if this was something we were passionate it about or just a job.  As I reflected I realized that there were very few things in my life that I have ever been passionate about. 

The gym at one time was a great passion but somehow over time it was relegated to "job status" and then finally to "awww forget it, who cares anyway".   I miss the feeling of enjoying going to the gym.  Over the past few weeks I have felt that spark slowing igniting again.  There’s been a slight set-back with losing a prospective lifting partner but the spark is still there.

The question remains though, am I going to let that spark perish or am I going to fan it until it becomes a raging inferno?

Does anyone have any gasoline??????????