Body Blog

So, my work-out partner quit on me 01/28/09.  I was ridin the wave and totally wiped out after she quit.  I haven’t been back to the gym since.  Basically 5 weeks.  I’m pissed at myself, and sad that I haven’t kept up my training.  Just by observing my work-out patterns over the years, (as a working adult vs. my college years), it seems I have to have a partner to make it to my workouts.  Once I’m there…no problem, although sometimes my energy is shot.  If I just go at it by my lonesome, I don’t make my workouts.  Why?  I’m freakin so mentally exhausted by the end of the work-day, I don’t have the metal strength to pull through.  When I have a work-out partner, I have an obligation to meet that person, so it holds me accountable regardless of how I feel that day to show up and make it.

You’re thinkin…OH, COME ON! Seriously, it’s like fighting with myself everyday, if I don’t have a partner.  If I don’t have a partner, I have an option to make the wrong decision, and lately I have been.  After work, I feel all I can do is shut down.  I feel the same way with a partner.  But like I said, I don’t have an option in that circumstance.  At these times I fail to make the better decision to get my tail up instead of going to sleep at 6:30 P.M. and not waking up until the next day.  Okay, so what about the mornings?  I have to sacrifice my social activities in the evening to make this happen during the week, meaning I gotta be in bed by at the latest 9:00 P.M. 

So, is it wrong having someone else hold me accountable? Is having a security blanket, a cop-out, a crutch?  I don’t think so, because it’s worked for me.  However, the counter-argument is: what happens when you don’t have that support (i.e. the situation I’m in now)? 

Ultimately, all you’ve got is yourself to make decisions and succeed or fail in life.  Most times, honestly, I know that I am not enough (as pitiful as that sounds, I know myself though), so I look for outside sources of support.  I’m one of those people who feeds on the energy of others. My philosophy has always been…do whatever you can to commit and stay consistent with your workouts, as long as that "whatever" doesn’t compromise healthy living.  I know what time it is.   

I’ve totally fallen off the mark. *sadface* I’m prepared to get focused again, and do what needs to happen.  I just get tired of allowing myself to get to a point where I get disappointed and lose my gains in the process, in order to change my negative slumps.  I just want to stay on top of things and not let them downspiral…

Ever have a ”spark” ignite an insatiable drive to workout and look fit? I’m talking about that drive that pushes you to go harder than you ever have? To push through workouts with conviction? lol. Okay, some of you are blessed with uber-focus and great life circumstances, but some of us need eveything we can to pull through the mental tortures and obstacles of our unsupportive surroundings, so that “spark” can be a much needed push. 

So what “spark” or motivation am I talking about? Just in particular today, I thought about that want to impress the ex or the person that screwed you over for another love interest.

Let’s go back to that place: You’re pissed, you’ve been rejected, it sucks, and there’s no better way to validate yourself than investing time and effort into your physique (among other things). Damn right! Life is messy, and we have all experienced it. I’m not currently under this particular kind of immediate external motivation, but always have it in the back of my mind that “I want to look hotter than the last time ’so-n-so’ saw me.”

No this isn’t an epiphany for me, just an observation of a single, twenty-something woman. I think it’s great that such an experience can be cathartic, and yield positive results given the fact that someone rejected you. You can be constructive in both body and mind.

It’s a great example of… if you fall, just get up and try again. Ultimately, whatever motivates me (like anyone else), regardless of fleeting nature, just bolsters the mental strength needed to achieve my goals, and speaks to what has kept me on my fitness journey–whatever happens, just keep it movin onward and upward. 

As some of you know, I fell off during the holidays. I found a new job and new focus, and plan to ride the New Year momentum as long as I can. I started hittin the gym again 2 weeks ago. Glad to be back in the game. My goal is to lose 20 lbs by May 2009. My focus is to slim down my midsection-abs, butt, thighs and tone-up my arms, calves, and back. I think I’m gonna aim for a comp in 2010, since I have a lot of work ahead of me. I’ll keep ya’ll posted on the progress.   

So…I have NOT been working out for a month now. Some of you know that I’ve been stressed out to no end b/c of work. I gained 3lbs, then lost it by really watching my nutrition (not starvation)…so my weight hasn’t gotten out of hand. I have a suspicion that I probably lost some muscle mass instead of fat because I’ve lost some of my tone. I gotta get back up. I always do…but this is how my life always plays out: Start working out, get a solid foundation of consistency, really start to make progress, something happens in my life or I get burnt out…then start all over again. My relationship with fitness has always been cyclical. I would just like to be consistent for a change…but my body and mind seem to overule me at the worst times…the times I want to push through but dont have the strength to carry through.

Okay, so God really blessed me last night. I’ve known this personal trainer since last year, had 2 or 3 sessions with him. I haven’t seen him in a while. I just starting seeing him around the gym for the past three weeks. Long story short, he ended up talking with me (for free…lol) last night about nutrition and my training.

I took a body fat test and it was 28.2%. He said I’m basically carrying 43 lbs of fat (in ratio to muscle and bone mass). OMG! I knew it was bad! He gave me some meal ideas and instructed me how to rotate my caloric intake so that my metabolism would facilitate fat loss. I’m still aiming for my target weight of 135 lbs. but the shocker goal was a target of 17% body fat.

I’m really buckling down with getting to the gym. My goal is to go 4-5 times per week…I’m really happy that someone genuinely wants to help me get where I wanna be for me.

I have learned that it is so important to help others and share knowledge. Without each other, it would be so much harder to reach our goals individually. So thanks to everyone, for every comment and message because it all pushes me closer to my goals.    

So, when I first started going to the gym back in February 2008 after about slacking of for a year and a half, I could only run in intervals of running 5 min. walk 2 minutes. I then improved to 5/1 intervals, then to 6/1 intervals. Even then, I could only run 10 minutes straight.  

Proud to report that I can now run for 40-45 minutes on the treadmill while gradually increasing my speed over that time. I’ve started riding the stationary bike as well, which I’ve never done. The most I’ve rode has been 12 miles, a personal best, and first.

My goal is to run 8 miles, and bike 15 by December this year.

Im a little frustrated today. I stepped on the scale and gained 2 lbs since my last wiegh in… and the sad thing is, I think I know why…I haven’t gone to the gym for 5 days…I was doing so well, but this week I got really tired/lazy. I have yet to figure out what can help pull me through getting to the gym after I’ve been going hard for a while. I always seem to taper-off after a while, then get pissed at myself and hit it hard again. I dont want to have good days and bad days, because that’s what seems to hold me back from getting to my goals, the roller-coaster effect. I just want to be consistent. I do really well and then fall out of step with my rountine. So…I’m poopie today… 

I have to say, I’m really glad I found this site. It’s already giving me even more motivation to work out harder. I appreciate the feedback and encouragement everyone leaves! It’s only been a few days and I’m already benefiting from the experience. Where I live, it is really hard to find people who are into serious fitness and/or bodybuilding. Ultimately, my wish would be for someone to take me under their wing. I would so run with that opportunity! I have had a dream for quite some time now of competing. When I was growing up there were no Ms. Figure comps. I’m not a gymnast, former cheerleader,  nor fitness instructor, so I knew Ms. Fitness would never be a reality..but ever since I heard of Ms. Figure comps, I got excited because I might actually be able to compete in them one day. I have no people in my family, none of my friends, not even my cultures (black and mexican) embrace this kind of lifestyle. Not that bodybuilding has anything to do with race/heritage, but my point is…is that I’ve had to search this out, break the mold, and create a new life all without support, guidance, nor understanding from anyone. It kinda bites that I’m just now starting my journey at 26, because I feel my time is limited, and wish I could have done this earlier in my life. Regardless, I’m really excited and want to achieve this for me, and hope I can look at this a few years from now, and be proud of what I achieved.