Brains, Brawn and Bamboo

As of this morning, I am 167 Lbs. That’s just under 12 Stone. Sweet.

My eating plan at the moment is thus: I eat a certain number of calories a day as a baseline - 3300 to be precise. I’ve determined that this is the number I need to eat in order not to lose weight. This baseline is made up of rice, chicken, fish, nuts, fruit and a liquid meal. All healthy stuff. As long as I eat this, I eat whatever I want on top of it, depending on hunger. This means:

1. My diet has variety, both in terms of food types and amounts of macronutrients. This keeps the body healthy, as it gets different nutrients and doesn’t develop intolerances to any specific element.

2. I eat instinctively - some days, I’m ravenous and consume great volumes. Others, just an extra small salad suffices. This is healthy not only for the body but for the ‘Romantic Instinct’ - a vital character trait of a warrior - as Ori Hofmekler would say.

3. I don’t put myself under unnecessary pressure - no desperate race to eat mass loads of food, no forced bloatedness etc. I feel springy and full of energy this way.

I haven’t set myself any weight goals, but I am gaining weight, which is great. My semi-instinctive approach is working. Also, I’m still looking relatively lean. Bonus. I’ll continue to monitor my weight, and adjust the baseline depending on progress. My hope is to hit 170Lbs again before New Year. That would put me in a good position to re-start my ‘hard-style’ training.

As to what that will be…well, I don’t know yet. It will be the subject of another blog. At the moment, I am focusing on Qigong excercises and my Lau Gar Kung Fu training. Internal stuff.

I am, however, making a concerted effort to get my pushup ability back up after colitis stripped a large part of that strength away. Every weekday, I do three sets of pushups, spread throughout the day. Each set is the same number of pushups. The next day, I add a single rep. At the weekend, I rest.

This past week, I worked up to 3 x 30 pushups, the sets spread throughout the day. It’s not great, but considering 10 pushups were a struggle when I came out of hospital, I’m happy with the progress. I’ll continue with my method until I hit 100 reps.

Yes - 100 pushups. I see no reason why, when I’m only adding a single rep every weekday, that level can’t be attained. Once there, I’ll drop the frequency and just test every few days to maintain the skill.

That’s the plan, anyway. As for muscle/strength-building ‘hard-style’ training, I’ll be blogging about the options I’m considering soon. Problem is, there are so many options!

Maybe you can suggest something and help me choose?

2009 has been…well, absolutely rotten in terms of my health. I started the year with flu (had been bedridden on Christmas day!), developed a chest infection in February (and over my birthday!) and proceeded to have multiple flare-ups of my ulcerative colitis throughout the remainder of the year, hospitalising me a total of three times. Weight and wellbeing have been through a meatgrinder. It’s been a painful ride.

I’m stable at the moment…and I feel a shift. A change in the balance of energy. Just as the options for controlling my colitis have become fewer and grimmer, I find myself filled with hope for the future. A belief and a confidence that, having travelled through the halls of blood and anguish, I am somehow in a better position to tackle the tasks of tomorrow.

Here is a decision I have made:

I WILL NOT NEED SURGERY FOR MY ULCERATIVE COLITIS.

I WILL CONQUER IT.

I was born with a hole in my heart. I overcame that. I will overcome colitis.

2009 was not a healthy year, but perhaps all that hurt and grind was preparing me for something bigger? Something that could only blossom once a certain threshold of pain had been experienced?

I will grow. I will evolve. I will become stronger, healthier, and more powerful than ever before. I will unite external and internal energy. Body, mind and spirit, working together.

I will hope for nothing - when I decide what I want, I will take it, and there will be no doubt.

I will fear nothing - obstacles are just opportunities to grow toward godhood.

I will be free - that which I am will be allowed to be. And I will be glorious.

This is the philosophy I’m working on. It is just a start. Like my body, it too will grow and develop as I learn more about myself and my place in this world.

Coming soon: initial thoughts on how to practically engage with these ideas. I’m…what’s the word? Oh yes…I’m PUMPED!

As of this morning, my weight is up to 163 lbs. A lot better than it was a couple of weeks ago. I’m still not going to set any weight goals - colitis is to tricksy for that - but I am pleased that I’m back in the 160’s, and I’ll be elated if I can get back to 170+. At the moment, I’m consuming 3300-4000 calories a day and it feels like chicken-feed, so there is room for increased consumption.

My cold is on its way out, thank goodness. Being hit with colitis and the flu was a double-whammy I didn’t need. I think I’ll be able to start some harder training in a week or two. As to what that will be, I don’t know. I have kettlebells (a 16KG and 24KG); what with gyms being packed in the New Year with the ‘Resolutioners’, it might be an idea to focus on them since the work can be done at home. Of course, nothing packs on meat like heavy weights. We’ll see.

I need to focus more on the internal aspects of kung fu. I ordered and received John Du Cane’s Qigong Recharge kit from dragondoor.com (the land of Pavel and kettebells etc.). It only took three days to be delivered, and I’m in the UK - excellent customer service and shipping! The movements of the form are more gentle and slow than I’m used to with my hard-style kung fu, but then I guess that’s the point. Practice will yield results, I’m sure.

Slowly does it. 2009 has been a rotten year for me, at least health-wise. I will recover by the year’s end, and be in a position to make 2010 the best year of my life. Never back down.

Hot: Michele Levesque on the cover of MuscleMag December 2009 [UK] - sexy, powerful picture. What an ass!

Not: The rest of that same magazine. Just a massive ‘magic-powder’ catalogue, with pages of bloated, chemical-filled behemoths and the worst ’sexiest women’ section ever (pouty-faced bimbos dressed like porn stars, all with too much make-up on…)

Another aggressive flare-up of colitis. Another week in hospital, hooked up to all manner of tubes, chemicals and, at one point, an oxygen mask. Another terrible week in a year that has seen me in and out of hospital with this thing like a yo-yo.

I’m out now. All 158 Lbs of me. Bleargh.

I’m on another course of steroids in the short-term. Long term, options are running out. Since I can’t stay on steroids forever, and I haven’t tolerated their substitutes (they’ve made me worse), there are only two courses left:

1. Infleximab. As I have Colitis, rather than Chrons, my doctors are having to appeal to the local Health Authority for the funding for this approach. It involves infusions of biologic compounds direct into the bloodstream every two months. There’s about a 1-in-3 chance of success, assuming I get the funding and go-ahead.

(In my mind, the infusions take place like a scene from Wolverine’s dark past - I’ll be suspended in a vertical vat of power government goop with only a rebreather mask and hairy chest for cover…in reality, it’s just lying down on a bed for a few hours with a drip)

2. Surgery.

I’m not saying anything more about option 2. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not going to contemplate it until option 1 is completely explored.

While I’d like to get back to 170lbs, I’m not going to stress it. I can’t. Pushing my body/digestive system too hard could bring me crashing down again, and that just brings me closer to the surgical option. So, no weight goals, no bulking diets, no ‘harder, stronger, faster’…not any more. Sorry. It’s just not healthy or wise. I don’t want surgery. My body is the only one I have. I can’t risk it.

I’m going to move more toward the internal aspects of Kung Fu - qigong, meditation etc. Hopefully, I can cultivate great internal energy and power, even if I can’t fill my muscles with throbbing fibres. I’ll try and strike a balance, though. Kettlebell training for the hard style, qigong/internal arts for the soft style. On my terms. For my body and health.

Since that’s the case, I’m struggling to justify staying on Bodyspace. I’m not out to, nor will I ever likely attain a ‘rocking body’ (colitis has a habit of distending the gut anyway). I’m not going to push super-heavy weights, or model, or any of that ’bodybuilding’ stuff. Don’t suppose there is a graph that measures ‘internal energy’, is there?!

I don’t know yet. I’ll see. I do like reading about others, and trying to motivate and help them (despite my broken body, my mind is reasonably knowledgeable). I accept, however, that I’m not exactly a physical spokesperson for the site, or others who have different, non-medically-influenced goals.

The greatest battles happen within. I’m hoping I can find the pivot point between angel and beast and achieve balance. Until then, be calm, and seek to fill all your actions with love.

PS: I still want to tear a deck of cards in half, though…! 

Last week, I started the abbreviated Super Squats program, found in Randall J. Strossen’s brilliant book, ‘Super Squats: How to Gain 30 Pounds of Muscle in 6 Weeks‘. You can find out more in the ‘Workout’ section of my Bodyspace. My goal is to hit the program for 7 weeks total (which will bring me up to the end of November) and gain as much muscle as possible.

This past Saturday - that is, after a week on the program - I weighed myself and found I had gained 5lbs!

I’ve got 6 weeks left to do, and if I can keep that rate of growth up I will be able to match the claims by the book. All barbell exercises utilise Fat Gripz, too. These are great; they turn everything into a thick-handled exercise. As a consequence, they also make everything much harder. Which is great!

Colitis is settled. Still pounding the fish oil and turmeric - and no medication - and I feel really stable. Taking the opportunity to grow as much as possible. Maybe when I’m done, I’ll feel good enough to post pictures up.

Oh, and my card tearing is coming along nicely. Went through 25 cards last night - going to try and rip a whole deck by December.

Hope everyone else is feeling well. Fight for the muscle - power belongs to those who take it!

The last couple of days, I’ve been doing something different. Something very small, but different. And my colitis has really begun to settle.

I’ve tripled my fish oil intake.

It’s an experiment, based on an article I read about Fish Oil on T-Nation. Basically, you should have 1000mg Fish Oil per % of bodyfat. At about 9%, that means 9 capsules a day. I’ve worked up to 8 a day. While it’s only been a couple of days, I feel so much better. The symptoms of colitis have cleared up with shocking quickness. Not completely gone, yet, but it’s getting there. Fast.

I don’t want to jinx anything, but…well…

Have I cracked the Colitis code?

Feeling optimistic. Feeling good about future. Going to work up to 10 a day (to cover my bases) and work in some Curcumin tabs (if I can find them), which also have some evidence of helping colitis.

No medication. No powerful foreign chemicals. Just lots of water and natural supplements.

Here’s hoping that it’s not a fluke. I feel like I’ve finally found a crack in the armour of this thing. Time to take advantage of it!

I have been taking no medication for about a month now. In that time, my colitis has settled…to an extent. I’m hardly losing any blood at all, but I am still losing blood too frequently for my liking. I find it difficult to eat - both lack of appetite and cramping/pains/urge to go to the toilet when I do. I’m at 160 Lbs and I’m desperately fighting not to lose anymore weight. I’d love to regain the lost weight and get back to 170 Lbs, but at the moment I’m not sure I can do that without setting my colitis off in a big way.

Feels like the demon in my gut is sleeping with one eye open. I’m stable to a point, but I’m no where near 100%, and nutritionally/training-wise I’m walking on thin ice trying not the wake the beast up and engage in another full-on flare-up assault.

Taking it easy is wise and kind, but it is also frustrating.

I have issues with the Chron’s Disease article on the main site. It’s not the same as Colitis, but it is similar. Encouraging me to eat lots of food is noble but misguided advice. That would cause me a to cramp up in a seriously painful way, elicit the need for more toilet action (and therefore more potential blood loss) and risk a flare-up.  I’ve been there, done that, and it doesn’t work (unless ‘work’ means ‘lots of pain for little reward, and maybe even negative consequences’). I wonder if the authors of these articles have ever had to live with the day-to-day trials of chrons or colitis. If they had, I wonder if they’d be so ready in saying ‘eat plenty’ without acknowledging the discomfort and difficulty of that advice. Still, at least they are trying to address the issue. Not bad-mouthing them; just saying reality is often different from theory, and that you should judge all information critically based on you’re on experiences.

I’d like to say training is going great, but it’s not. I’m taking it easy to try and not end up in hospital again. Very frustrating. But I am off the meds, and I’m generally no worse as a result. Hopefully, if I give it a bit of time, my body can fully heal itself. Naturally.

I hope everyone else is having great success with their health, wealth and training. Be kind to each other, and fight like a devil for your dreams.

Colitis is still there, but subsiding. The blood loss has been having an impact on me (getting cold when I wouldn’t normally, feeling tired and weak), but the frequency and amount is starting to stall -all without medication. I’m hoping that this is a sign that my body is self-regulating; finally beginning to heal itself. Time will tell if I can get in complete control again.

I’ve been casting half an eye to the future. As usual, I’ve lost weight…again…thanks to colitis having a tantrum. I’ll record just how bad it is tomorrow. As for now, I feel I need to put on some weight. I certainly want to get back to 170lbs as quickly (but as safely) as possible. I’m considering what to do with my diet (thinking more liquid meals, as less digestive stress) and potential training. Anyone with mass gaining tips/workouts etc., please feel free to help a skinny wretch in need of serious mass!

Have been thinking that, until colitis is properly subsided and under control (and hopefully that is the direction I’m going in, rather than suprise aggresive flare-up!), I might try some weighted-vest walks. Build some strength endurance with relatively low physical stress, combined with walking meditation, maybe?

Of course, I’ve also been considering 20-rep Death Squats supplemented with crazy mass gainer shakes, just to shock some weight back on. I’m an idiot like that.

I’m feeling better, even if I’m not better. Looking forward to increasing my training soon. Hope everyone out there doing fine - stay healthy, and be kind.

First, the situation.

Roughly two weeks ago the medication I had been slowly getting used to over the past month was increased from a half-dose to a full dose. Like before, this increase prompted my body to have a bad reaction: nausea, cramps, lack of appetite…god, the constant nausea. This past Tuesday, I reached Breaking Point. I’d had enough; enough of taking medication that either didn’t do anything or that made me more ill than the colitis it was meant to control.

I made a decision to stop taking it. Moreover, I made a decision to stop taking all my medication. It either did nothing or made me worse. I don’t know much about anything, but experience has taught me something that I now realise my intuition knew all along: that powerful foreign chemicals are not the way to control my condition.

Since stopping the medication, the nausea, lack of appetite etc. caused by the medication cleared up, almost over night. Good. Unfortunately, since then my colitis has been having a ‘wobble’, and I’ve been bleeding/cramping again. Bad. That is now, also, starting to clear up. Good. I’m hoping it was just a reaction to the changing chemicals in my body.

I haven’t gone sans medication in over three years. My hope is that, by giving my body time to flush out all foreign substances, I can encourage natural healing and regeneration that dependence on medication may have repressed.

And that’s the main crux of why I’ve made this decision. It occured to me that colitis has completely dominated my worldview for the past. By taking the medication, by believing that my health and wellbeing was dependent on the myriad of tablets I was prescribed, I was reinforcing a dangerous thought-paradigm: I am ill, I am broken, I am fighting a battle everyday with myself.

I am now resolved to break this thought process. Rather than drowning out my body’s crying, smothering it with drugs, I am setting it free. I will listen to what I need. I will meditate and engage in a conversation with my heart about what the initial emergence of colitis was trying to say, and I will respond in kind.

This is not the first and last thing I will say on the issue, but I am coming to see that, maybe, the predominately Western belief of ‘No Pain, No Gain’ is dangerous. Struggle and effort are not, but beating yourself down in spite of your self is. This issue especially affects bodybuilders, fitness athletes, sportsmen and champions of physicality of all methodologies. Too often do we repress the symptoms of a whole and intelligent body to ruthlessly pursue a goal. Again, goal orientation is not a problem, but the savagery, the reckless abandon with which people attack things…I don’t know whether that’s entirely good anymore.

Certainly, I don’t think it’s right for me anymore.

I’ve put any hard goals (rep limits, weights etc.) on hold until I am able to establish a deep connection with my body, my subconscious and my place in life. I’m taking time to talk to my heart. What are you trying to say, body? How can we help each other?

Sorry if this is too new-age or hippy for some of you. I don’t mean to make you squirm. But sometimes, you have to try something radically different.

I’ll be back with more. For now, thank you for reading. Comments are, of course, welcome.

I am back from holiday and I am feeling good. Colitis is under control, my weight is stable at much lower calories, and I am ready to do some serious training.

For the next three and a half months - that is, until the Christmas holidays! - I will be attacking a multi-faceted training plan, designed to augment all aspects of my physicality: strength, stamina, skill, speed and controlled savagery. It is my own version of cross-training - you can read more details in the ‘Workout’ section of my Bodyspace - but incorporates barbells, kettlebells, calisthenics, martial arts and a sprinkling of insanity!

I haven’t go all my goals worked out yet, but here are those I do:

1. Rip an entire deck of cards in half with my bare hands.

2. Complete 100+ pushups in 2 minutes

3. Complete 100+ Sit-Ups in 2 minutes

4. Complete 20+ Pullups with Tactical (No-Thumbs) Grip

5. Gymnastic Bridge for 3 minutes (to advance to Full Wrestlers Bridge)

Why the numbers for 2-4? They’re the desirable/competetive figures required of Navy SEAL recruits*. Colitis means I can’t be in the army, but I can train to be ‘army tough’ - hell, I’m training to be Special Services tough! Achieving Pavel’s challenge of 200 snatches in 10 minutes with a 24KG kettlebell would also qualify as Special Service Tough, though I only have a 16KG kettlebell at the moment, and my snatch numbers with it are vastly beneath that target. Still, that is why we train; to get better.

It’s going to be hard, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Now…CHARGE!

* Minimum figures = Pushups/42, Situps/50, Pullups/8