Brains, Brawn and Bamboo

I have started eating meat again.

1. The steroids I’m on are having little effect and I’m losing blood daily. I’m unable to take iron supplementation at the moment due to an upcoming biopsy. I needed the iron to be healthy.

2. Vegetarian protein sources - soya, vegetable protein, nuts and many beans etc. do not go well with colitis. Fish and white meat, however, do not cause any digestion problems. Meat is one of the few protein sources, it seems, my body can easily tolerate and assimilate.

3. I have been ‘crashing’ at midday for a while due to colitis-born blood loss…until I started incorporating meat back into my diet. My energy has shot up, in spite of the pain and blood loss. The effect has been, frankly, medicinal.

This isn’t a case of me being an ignorant vegetarian - I’m a smart guy and I did my research - or a lazy one - I gave it a rigorous go for about a year - but I’ve come to the conclusion that my body is one that functions far better with meat than without. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the year I have been vegan / vegetarian, I have had more flare-ups and generally been weaker / sicker than at any other time in my life.

I still absolutely respect and admire the choices of vegans and vegetarians. But every body is different. I believe mine needs meat to function healthily and effectively; and in being those things, I will be better equiped to affect postive transformation in the world.

I will, of course, now have to leave the Bodygroup Veg United. Stay strong and healthy, guys. It was great having you there as a support. You all have my respect.

Briefly:

1. Steroids: I mentioned previously I was prescribed steroids by my doctor. These are obviously not stereotypical bodybuilding steroids, but immuno-suppresants designed to help stabilise my colitis. I’ve only been given a short course - two months aprox. Sadly, the only effect they’ve had thus far is to increase appetite to ravenous levels. Would be nice to stop bleeding and cramping sometime soon. Oh well. Give them time.

2. Deadlifts: I jumped 5KG / 11 Pounds yesterday in the deadlift rather than my usual progression of 2.5KG / 5.5 Pounds, having felt my lifts earlier on in the week were especially sharp and solid. I managed the 5 reps at 80KG / 176 Pounds…but they were ugly reps; awkward, clumsy, ego-reps. I’ll keep the weight next week when I cycle back to it, but when I next progress it’s back to 5.5 pound increases - slow and steady wins the race.

The 80KG was difficult for other reasons. I initially loaded the bar wrong because I was in a rush, and ended up pulling a lopsided barbell, which really threw me off mentally. Secondly, there was a hot girl in tiny shorts working out on the other side of the gym…and the mirror in front of the deadlifting ’space’ afforded me an unavoidable (though, ashamedly, not entirely unappreciated) view.

Nuff said.

Been on Power to the People for just over two weeks now. Here are my stats since 08.03.09:

Weight: 152.8 Lbs (- 1 Lbs) - Weight is down, but considering my colitis has been in full flare up, that’s not surprising. I visited the hospital the other day, and they’ve put me on a short term course of steroids to hammer the colitis into place and give my body a chance to heal up - the iron I’m taking is not able to work when I’m losing blood daily. Hopefully, as the steroids take effect, my weight will stabilize and my blood will start coming up. I can then focus on gaining weight, rather than just surviving my condition.

Deadlift: 165 Lbs x 5 (+ 33 Lbs) - Despite my colitis and subsequent diminished energy I’ve still been able to add 33lbs to my 5 rep deadlift in the last two weeks. That’s something to be proud of. The weight is still pitifully low by anyone’s standards, but it is going up thanks to my cycling the weights for steady progress. As my health improves, I should continue to see improvement. Only 35Lbs off my 200lbs target (set for 22/05/09).

Bodyfat: 9.5% - Took this today using Accu-Measure calipers. I have no idea how accurate it is, but it gives me the roughest of ideas. Not too worried about bodyfat - when I start to look less like Skeletor and more like He-Man, then I’ll sweat the percentage.

New progress pictures are up. They show no progress, but I wasn’t expecting much in two weeks, especially when colitis has been giving me serious grief. As time goes on, I’m sure change will be more readily apparant.

I haven’t added in Kettlebell pushes / pushups / pullups etc. to my regime as I had planned because of my health, but in the last two weeks I have been doing deadlifts 5 times a week as Pavel recommends rather than phasing them in as I initially planned. Deadlifts have been feeling solid. Looking forward to seeing real progress on them in the future, and I’ll be adding the above fitness elements as well once the steroids take effect. I’ve been using a mixed grip, but I’ve heard that you should only switch to that once you can’t handle the weight with a hook grip in order to improve your grip. Any suggestions about this are, of course, welcome.

I can’t seem to write succient posts - for that I apologise. I’ll write more about what the doctors have said anon. Until then, I’m going to dip, grip and rip!

I’m sure everyone on Bodyspace has seen Rocky Balboa. A lot of people have a very powerful monologue from the film as an inspirational video. Let me quote just a small section of it:

"…it aint about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; about how much you can take and still keep moving forward. If you know what you’re worth, go out and get what you’re worth, but you’ve got to be willing to take the hits…"

Powerful words indeed. I’ve drawn inspiration from them myself. Lord knows I wasn’t born with athletic genetics - a hole in the heart when I was young and dealing with often raging colitis for the past three years has meant that I’ve had to fight to survive, let alone prosper. But I’ve always had an iron will, and no matter how badly life or illness or genetics has hit me, no matter how painful or humiliating or degrading, I’ve always got back on my feet. Bloody, bowed, maybe…but never broken.

To link it to the Rocky quote - I can get hit hard. I can take a lot.

But recently I’ve been asking myself: have I been moving forward?

I’m updating my progress photos tomorrow, and I’ll post about what I’ve accomplished in the last two weeks. But weight, lifting stats, medication etc. - that’s short term. What am I aiming for in the long term? What am I worth, and for what am I taking all of life’s hits?

Unless you’re moving forward, you’re moving back, because the march of time doesn’t give a damn about you, and will stomp you into the dirt if you hesitate, leaving only a smear of missed opportunities and still-born dreams that never had a chance to be broken.

I’ve never thought toward the practicalities, the goals, of the long term. Short term deadlines, foundational recoveries, yes, but not anything solid. No path. I’ve just been standing here and taking the hits. I’m still standing, but I’m also still getting beat on for no reason, because I haven’t decided on my reason. A reason for me to be me.

I don’t have any answers. I need to think, but more importantly, I need to do, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. Need to attack a long term goal, something meaningful and real - a job I want, a life I want to lead - or the only thing I’ll be good for is a punchbag for life’s arbitrary harshness. Going through the motions. Too lost to live - Too strong to die.

Just random thoughts. I’ll probably think something completely different tomorrow. My mind is like that - chaotic, fractured, filled with so much random, conflicting stuff it will probably reach critical mass one day and I’ll give birth to an angsty, overly-analytical, post-modern star. In that respect, venting is useful.

Maybe it will prove useful for others as well.

My colitis is testing me. It’s flaring up again.

I’m doing everything to slow its effect - even started taking cod liver oil (vegetarians forgive me, but I need my health) - and have booked an appointment to see a doctor at a specialist centre next Friday. I can’t keep going on like this, having flare up after flare up. It’s draining me. This is the last thing my body needs in order to heal. Hopefully, a review of my medication will reveal fresh options. Until then, I’ll take all the medication and supplements I can and hope it doesn’t get out of control.

My workouts have been good, running according to a structured wave cycle I’ve chosen (basically, 4 steps forward, 3 steps back - slow but consistent gains designed not to burn me out). I’m planning on following PTP until May 22nd, whereupon I’ll take a week off training to rest. I’d use the Goal Tracker to do it, but it doesn’t have the option of setting a deadlift goal! At least, not when I last looked. So, I’ll announce my deadlift goal here:

Deadlift: 200lbs x 5 by May 22nd

I’m aprehensive - what with my health and conditions in seemingly endless turmoil - but I will do all I can to achieve this benchmark. It’s a light weight for many, male and female, but you don’t start a journey at the top of the mountain.

(Besides, it’s embarrassing to be straining to deadlift a weight others at my gym are curling…an exaggeration maybe, but that’s what it feels like!)

I took a ‘progress’ photo last weekend. Man, I look like a skinny sack of nothing good. But it wouldn’t be a progress shot if I looked my best on the first picture. I’m interested to see how my body changes on a diet of good food and heavy deadlifts. Hopefully, for the better! I’ll update pictures and bodyweight stats fortnightly. Stay tuned.

I’ll be busy over the weekend with a work assignment, so if I don’t respond quickly - or at all - it’s because I’m neck deep in sustainable construction literature.

Until then, look your obstacles square in the eye and give ‘em hell!

My strength is returning in leaps and bounds. At least, that’s how it feels. I don’t want to push too hard too soon; the last thing I want is to get ill again or impair my blood regeneration. So, I’m still taking it easy, and focusing my efforts on technique, awareness, internal power and perception - generally, trying to take a more holistic approach to fitness. So far, I’m enjoying the change of pace.

I’m seriously considering adding the bench press to my Power to the People workouts, same protocol; 2 x 5 before deadlifts. Never had a good bench press, but as I say to my kung fu students, the only way to get strong is to be strong. It’ll help balance me out - a push and a pull. I’ve also got a couple of tai chi dvds - haven’t watched them yet, but I’m hoping they’ll help start me on the road to a more integrated internal power.

(I’m sounding really weird lately, with all the ‘internal’ references. Oh well…)

Most importantly, I have a short term goal. In 8 weeks time, I am going to attend an Amateur Boxing Association Tutor’s Course. It was advertised at work and qualifies you to teach an ABA courses in schools, fitness centres, universities etc. I’m sending my application off Monday morning.

If I hadn’t been plagued by illness as of late, I wouldn’t be too worried about the physical aspect - hell, I’d probably step it up to show people what kung fu fitness is really about (and no, it’s not paunch-carrying middle aged wannabe-ninjas who do 10 pushups and a couple of laps around a basketball court and call it a day because they’re out of breath!). However, with my strength depleted - although rapidly returning - my focus for the next 8 weeks will be to bring my conditioning up as high as possible without harming my recovery. So, no HIIT, at least not initially. Plenty of swimming, benching, deadlifts, pushups and shadow boxing.

Oh, and learning to skip!

The course is on May 1st. The 8 week clock is ticking. Have at thee!

My cough has all but cleared up - hurray! It is so good to be able to go outside and not be incapacitated by a hacking fit, or to bound up stairs three at a time rather than crawl up the bannister at a snail’s pace for fear of aggravating my chest. I consider myself exorcised from the fearful spectre.

As for my blood situation, I have learned since my last blog entry that a healthy haemoglobin index for men is 14-16, so at 8.9 I’m even worse than I initially thought. There’s nothing I can do about this apart from take my iron medication, eat plenty of greens and trust my body to heal. In a way, this whole incident has helped clear my mind and bring me to a clearer understanding of my body - of how being strong does not equate to being cruel to oneself - and for that I am grateful.

My colitis has cleared up, and I’m hoping to keep it in remission for a substantial period this time. The iron tablets are helping with the…er, consistency. I’m also investing time in studying psychological techniques to keep my body healthy. Self-image creation, theatre of the mind, psycho-cybernetics and all that jazz, oh my!

This week I have begun to phase in my new fitness regime. Firstly, my diet. 7 meals a day, lots of fruit and vegetables, a casein shake in the evening to release protein through the night, around 3600 calories…it’s all good. I’ve had a habit in the past of having the same thing every day. While I haven’t gone completely free reign, I have structured in planned variety: different meals split over the days of the week, Mon-Fri. At the weekend, I have half my meals, and will eat out for the rest.

Hey, I need the weight, and the change will be both relaxing and nourishing for my body.

As for physical work, I have returned to Kung Fu this week, but am taking it easy and will only be doing traditional work - patterns, breathing, qigong exercises etc. - so that the two hour ‘harder-faster-more-more-MORE’ contact sessions don’t impare my recovery. I will still be working on my strength component, but have determined I need to do so at my own pace, and in a more measured way.

To this end, tommorrow I will be starting Pavel’s Power to the People program. Basically, you deadlift 2 x 5, 5 times a week. The focus is on strength and technique (there is provision for bulking, but I’m not pushing my body like that until my blood is back to where it should be). I’m going to start with Wednesday and Friday this week, and add a day a week each week from then on, so that by the end of March I’ll be up to 5 x per week. While at the gym, I’ll also do direct neck work - an aspect of old time strongman strength I’m unashamedly interested in becoming proficient at.

As my strength and energy returns, I’ll add in Kettlebell presses for my push strength, but I’m confident that the heavy deadlifts - frequently in a feud with squats for contender of the title of ‘King of Exercises‘ - will serve my strength and body well.

I will obtain pictures of myself at the weekend, and every weekend thereafter so that I might track my recovery and the (hopeful) transformation that frequent heavy deadlifts will have on my body over the coming months.

Phew…that’s a lot of updating. I’ll call it quits there for now. Time to chew through another tub of cottage cheese!