Doobie2270’s BodyBlog

OK, so I thought the title would be a pretty good eye catcher.  Ha!

I have a friend who has the looks of a male model, but is noticeably below the average height, and he has small…feet.  He’s always made little comments here and there to let me know that he’s jealous of my slightly larger…foot.  He’s sure that if he was a little taller and his foot was a little bigger, that he’d have all the self confidence in the world, and he’ll have all the girls he ever wanted.  His big foot would surely give him all the charisma in the world, his personality would be magnetic, and he would always know what to say.

In the meantime, I’m walking around at 6 ft tall, with an average sized foot, and I’m certain that if I had just a little more abdominal definition, I would have all the confidence in the world.  My charisma would skyrocket, self esteem would be a self-sustaining ecosystem, and I’d finally get *the* girl.

Also walking around at this time is my other buddy, who has 5% bodyfat and a naturally god-like metabolism.  He can eat fried Twinkies all day without blinking.  His physique wouldn’t take a hit.  However, he can’t grow muscles no matter how much Weight Gainer 2000 he drinks.  He is sure that if he had just 20 pounds more muscle, that he would be complete, and all the beautiful people would flock to him.  He’d be surrounded by talent, wealth, and gorgeous women because 20 pounds of muscle would change the world.
I’m not going to go out of my way to state the moral of this story.  That would be insulting to anyone who can even read at all.  I just wanted to ask myself (out loud), does the upward comparisons and inevitable envy make me want to be great, or is it what’s keeping me from becoming great?

I was at Blockbuster waiting in my car while my little sister went to go get her movie when this guy walked into the store with arms roughly 3 times the size of mine.  They weren’t just big, though; he had the kind of definition that wins you competitions.  Anyway, I started feeling kind of pathetic because I’ve been trying to cut for summer just for the sake of cutting for summer.  I know I have the potential to be bigger than most because, even before lifting, I was bigger than most.  When I train with partners, I always start out stronger and progress faster.  Its like I’m wasting a gift because I’m worrying so much about my bodyfat fluctuating between 10-12%, despite the fact that I never go to pools or beaches anyway.
So, this is me saying, "My summer cut is over!"  At least until my arms catch up…

So I practically crashed and fell off the wagon last week.  I felt terrible, wanted to quit dieting and doing cardio and go back to eating and half-assed lifting like over winter.  I went on a huge binge over the weekend to affirm the era of a new bulk and the end of the cut.  I gorged on Chinese food at the buffet, I gorged on chocolate, ice cream, pudding, steak, lamb chops, honey oatmeal, PB&J sandwiches, and sugary cereal.  I also shaved my head and, feeling traumatized by the event, started smoking and taking straight shots of Wild Turkey until my face and mouth were numb and standing was an inconceivable feat.
As bloated and fat as I still felt today, I still took a curious look in the mirror and found myself looking better than before.  Maybe its psychological; I expected to look terrible, but 2 days of eating like crap won’t completely change the way you look.  I took some pictures to document this, and they turned out alright.  In other words, its not just the mirror.  I feel much better now though, and I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I’m doing:  busting my ass during the week and letting it go during the weekend.

My latest progress pictures show the leanest me ever.  However, its not going in a good direction.  It may sound strange, but I just don’t like the way I look when I’m so damn lean.  I’ve got stretch marks all over my stomach that just ruin the image and my body seems kinda wide, so I’ll never have the underwear model look I wanted.  If I continue this, I’ll be a pale scrawny kid with a freakish, albeit defined, midsection.  If I bulk, I’ll be a big pale guy with bulging muscles.  Either way, I won’t look good nekkid.  I don’t have the genetics, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

I have to go on a bulk.  Regardless of whether or not I ever try to get leaner than this, my muscles are being metabolized because I eat like a girl and run my ass off 3 days a week.  I have to boost my metabolism for a month or so, rising slowly to maintainance and above, before I can get any smaller.  Maybe I’ll be in a better mood by then and feeling better about myself and decide to resume my cut.  I did buy those damn running shoes, after all…

Cutting for too long can have devastating effects on your metabolism, so with spring break looming, a break may be exactly what I need.  I’m taking on a mini-bulk just to get my metabolism back up to speed and keep my muscularity up.  I’ll be back to cutting soon enough; gotta have that summer six pack. I guess I’ll do a refeed this weekend because I’ve been doing a low-carb diet all this time (to good success!), then start increasing my daily intake after that.
Also, I’ve been doing the same weightlifting routine long enough.  I’m experimenting with new exercises for old muscles using the limited equipment I have at home.  I’m not throwing the old ones out, necessarily, ‘cuz the thought of a routine without deadlifts and benches is just ridiculous. Still, how many ways can you really do a bicep curl?  I can think of about two…

So, apparently, 1800 calories are too little for a 200 pound 6 ft wannabe bodybuilder with 11% bodyfat.  Who knew?  The friendly folks at the keto boards have shown me the error of my ways, and have gently pointed me in the right direction.  I guess the severe hunger pangs and carb cravings should have been a sign that maybe I’m starving.

This is still cutting season, however, and I can’t just stop barely after taking off.  I’ll increase my calories veeeery gradually over the next few days, taking progress pictures (the scale’s a lying little sh**!) in weekly intervals to see how my body reacts.  Hopefully, I will be able to go up to ~2300 cals/day without losing definition around my abdominal area. Hell, the BB.com calculators say I should be eating over 3000, so I’m gonna be pissed if I actually manage to get fat on 2300.

I’m not interested in talking to myself online on a daily basis.  Suffice it to say, it’ll be a miracle if I keep this thing updated.  I’m just taking this moment to say that I am officially cutting.  I’ll be cutting all summer or until my willpower fountain dries up, whichever comes first.  Then when it gets colder outside, I’ll be bulking again.  Can’t wait.  Then next year, same cycle.

Welcome to the Bodybuilding.com BodyBlogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!