Doobie2270’s BodyBlog

I was at Blockbuster waiting in my car while my little sister went to go get her movie when this guy walked into the store with arms roughly 3 times the size of mine.  They weren’t just big, though; he had the kind of definition that wins you competitions.  Anyway, I started feeling kind of pathetic because I’ve been trying to cut for summer just for the sake of cutting for summer.  I know I have the potential to be bigger than most because, even before lifting, I was bigger than most.  When I train with partners, I always start out stronger and progress faster.  Its like I’m wasting a gift because I’m worrying so much about my bodyfat fluctuating between 10-12%, despite the fact that I never go to pools or beaches anyway.
So, this is me saying, "My summer cut is over!"  At least until my arms catch up…

So I practically crashed and fell off the wagon last week.  I felt terrible, wanted to quit dieting and doing cardio and go back to eating and half-assed lifting like over winter.  I went on a huge binge over the weekend to affirm the era of a new bulk and the end of the cut.  I gorged on Chinese food at the buffet, I gorged on chocolate, ice cream, pudding, steak, lamb chops, honey oatmeal, PB&J sandwiches, and sugary cereal.  I also shaved my head and, feeling traumatized by the event, started smoking and taking straight shots of Wild Turkey until my face and mouth were numb and standing was an inconceivable feat.
As bloated and fat as I still felt today, I still took a curious look in the mirror and found myself looking better than before.  Maybe its psychological; I expected to look terrible, but 2 days of eating like crap won’t completely change the way you look.  I took some pictures to document this, and they turned out alright.  In other words, its not just the mirror.  I feel much better now though, and I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I’m doing:  busting my ass during the week and letting it go during the weekend.

My latest progress pictures show the leanest me ever.  However, its not going in a good direction.  It may sound strange, but I just don’t like the way I look when I’m so damn lean.  I’ve got stretch marks all over my stomach that just ruin the image and my body seems kinda wide, so I’ll never have the underwear model look I wanted.  If I continue this, I’ll be a pale scrawny kid with a freakish, albeit defined, midsection.  If I bulk, I’ll be a big pale guy with bulging muscles.  Either way, I won’t look good nekkid.  I don’t have the genetics, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

I have to go on a bulk.  Regardless of whether or not I ever try to get leaner than this, my muscles are being metabolized because I eat like a girl and run my ass off 3 days a week.  I have to boost my metabolism for a month or so, rising slowly to maintainance and above, before I can get any smaller.  Maybe I’ll be in a better mood by then and feeling better about myself and decide to resume my cut.  I did buy those damn running shoes, after all…

Cutting for too long can have devastating effects on your metabolism, so with spring break looming, a break may be exactly what I need.  I’m taking on a mini-bulk just to get my metabolism back up to speed and keep my muscularity up.  I’ll be back to cutting soon enough; gotta have that summer six pack. I guess I’ll do a refeed this weekend because I’ve been doing a low-carb diet all this time (to good success!), then start increasing my daily intake after that.
Also, I’ve been doing the same weightlifting routine long enough.  I’m experimenting with new exercises for old muscles using the limited equipment I have at home.  I’m not throwing the old ones out, necessarily, ‘cuz the thought of a routine without deadlifts and benches is just ridiculous. Still, how many ways can you really do a bicep curl?  I can think of about two…