My routine on Mondays is 20 minutes of cardio then sitting in the sauna. After hitting my chest, back and legs hard on Saturday and Sunday I wanted to sit in the sauna on Monday evening to really relax those muscles. I’m the type of person when I do something I like all the bells and whistles to see if they help. So I bought a sauna suit.
The first thing I noticed when I put it on was the top was very loose and comfortable but the bottom was tight in the thighs. I didn’t get that until I sat in the sauna for 20 minutes and the suit became slick in the thigh area. Then it made sense. The suit has elastic around the wrists and ankles which helps you from draining your body’s sweat all over the sauna floor. Next, was my decision of what to wear on my feet. My bright idea was to wear flip flops so my feet can "breathe" and get a good sweat going. Bad idea. I’ll explain why in a moment.
So I’m wrapped up in my breathable plastic sauna "space" suit. I grab my stop watch and head into the sauna with the idea of laying back against the wall and relaxing for 30 minutes. I walk in the door and it’s crowded like a McDonald’s giving away free Big Macs.
Alright.
So I find a spot to sit. No laying back in this room tonight. And a minute or two later I start to sweat. A lot. A WHOLE lot. I’m thinking something is wrong here. This can’t be normal. My body’s temperature is getting to high. I’m going to have heart failure in a moment. I’m about to pass out.
"Breathe Alisa, BREATHE woman!"
That’s what I’m telling myself and I calm down and relax. And then I look at my thighs. I have sweated through the sauna suit and the sweat is beading up on my thighs. WTH? Is anybody else seeing this? I hope not. I lay my hands on my thighs trying to cover it up. Don’t work. Doesn’t matter it’s dark in the sauna room anyways. Besides in walks in who I later discover is Ms. All Too Loud.
She’s wearing a sauna suit too. She squeezes into a spot and sits quietly for a little while. Then it happened. Someone asked her "Does that work? The sauna suit?" She replies "Yes it works. I lost 40 pounds!" Huh? What? Ain’t no damn way she lost 40 pounds sweating in a sauna. Everyone is amazed and then a sane person asks. "Just with the suit or with exercise as well?" She admits she does circuit training and cardio plus she says something about her eating habits. She gets back on the sauna suit and says "But the sauna suit will help you rid your body of toxins. You will drop water weight and then you will loose inches. It works!" At this point I haven’t labeled her Ms. All Too Loud yet. Just a lady giving some good feedback on the benefits of a suana suit.
Then the nutball behind me who I guess wanted to be included in this conversation blurts out "You can eat what you want AND still loose wait." Another lady says "Really?" and Ms. All Too Loud starts getting louder talking about "Only if you have high metabolism. I’m 42 and I have slow metabolism. I can’t eat the white stuff. It just sticks to me for some reason" Nutball says "But I know people who ate what they wanted and lost weight." Then those two debate metabolism and my dream of a quite session in the sauna is fading damn quickly. Then the whole room erupts in chatter about circuit training, sauna suits, how you can eat "real" food and still loose weight, why it’s better not to use the free weights. Wait WHAT?? That’s when I open my eyes because the conversation is getting nuttier by the minute. I’m looking at my stop watch, my wet thighs, my feet which I’m horrified to discover have soaked my flip flops in sweat. And behind me a lady turns on her MP3 player to full volume? WHAT… THE…. HELL??? It’s time to go.
I walk out the sauna into the locker room and realize my feet in flip flops are dripping sweat all over the floor. I walk to my locker and the lady standing near my locker looks at my feet, then looks at me and the look on her face said "got damn!" I’m so embarrassed. I grab my gym bag, head to the shower, pull off the sauna suit and I look like I just poured a bottle of oil all over myself. Just glistening.
And that my friends was the first time I’ve worn a suana suit. I can’t wait until next Monday and do it all over again. But I’m buying some other type of shoes.
Alisa
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