Kick Ass & Take Names

That’s ME!!! All or nothing! I can’t help it — If you are my friend or my man…..I love you with my whole heart, I’d do anything for you.  100% dedicated.  Fitness/Working out — same thing, I am very dedicated, don’t miss my workouts - I’m up most days at 4AM to get to the gym @5 so that there are NO EXCUSES…… but if I miss a few days or Im sick…. boy it’s tough to get back, I get into my WTF mode!!! Too easy to get lazy. 

Luckily I know this about myself & see when I start to fall into lazy mode - this personality trait also dominates my diet habits.  I can commit my diet 100% & It’s almost crazy how focused I get.  Of course I want to eat all the delicious crap that’s in my house, but I just keep looking at the daily changes in my physique & ‘walk away’……The less I have to think about my food, the better!!! Time to eat….protein shake or chunk of chicken or turkey or egg whites (I’m decarbing right now for 3 days) and that’s it…  yes its boring, but it works & I feel wonderful! I dont get crabby - I’m just bored - it’s winter, I stay home with my kids every night besides the occational ‘Girl’s Night’ & I can’t snack!! So I’m bored!

Tomorrow, I will start back with my sweet potatoes & broc along with my protein.  The problem is — if I have a cookie or brownie (that have taken over my house over the holidays) then I want more - and it will just keep calling me.  All or nothing.  When I fall off the wagon, I fall hard! I think so anyway - I have friends who eat half a cake on a binge!!! I never did that! I could - but I never have.  I mean if I have one cookie it turns into 2 or maybe 3.  Then I’m disappointed in myself & usually have a stomach ache too!  SO STUPID!!

So I know myself well enough to see this fault of mine — Right now I am very focused, but I have to say…. I have a voice in my head telling me that I was so good with my decarb, that I should have a cookie with my tea in the morning - it’s like the little Devil on one shoulder & the Angel on the other is saying DON’T DO IT!!! (LOL)

I figure if Im going to have something I shouldn’t, it’s better to eat it first thing in the morning

I had a shooting yesterday & I’m happy with how I am leaning out, but DAMN my arms look HUGE!!!! OMG!! I will post some of the pictures when I get them.  I have a big shooting on Friday & that’s why I am dieting so hard this week - I want it to go well

I wish all of you a Happy & Prosperous 2009!!  Set your goals - we can reach them together

-Debi 

OK, I need to rant! It’s the Holidays and everyone’s baking & giving gifts  - yada, yada, yada.  I’m no Scrooge and I was actually in a really good mood, but I just need to bitch…..

I love my mom very much — I really do.  But she knows more than anyone else how I eat and how much I obsess about fitness.  Well every chance she gets, she buys me my fave freshly-made buttercreams & gives them to me. Birthday, Mothers Day,  you name it….. If I eat one, I have to eat the whole box - not in the same day, but give me a few days and they are gone! Then I’m mad! So of course, she gave me a big box last night - even tho I always say I don’t want them in my house.  My point is — Why does it seem like the people closest to you are always trying to sabbatage you??

I know she means well, but I’ve said it a MILLION times! She should have been a professional baker because she makes incredible choc chip cookies, pb layered brownies, the list goes on & she makes them and brings them to my house!!! By the dozens — ALL the time!! She says they are for the kids — well somehow my kids don’t have much of a sweet tooth & they sit & sit.  I am constantly surrounded by delicious sweets!

When I am bored & have a weak moment it is way too easy to dive in! Apparently I do have pretty good will-power because I rarely let myself eat them, but it certainly tests me!  I just hear it so often - ‘Just have one - it won’t hurt you’ or ‘it’s winter, you’re supposed to gain a little weight’ - I know you all can relate!  I guess our dedication is just always being tested.  It makes us stronger - right?? LOL

So I guess I’m done - It’s just something we all have to deal with.  We choose this lifestyle & can’t expect others to play by our rules.  We always get our revenge when the swim suits come out (LOL) Then we hear - OMG you look amazing! Like it is SO shocking to them!  But no one wants to hear how to eat to feel and look good. Oh well! 

It sure would be nice to be surrounded by people who ate like me - no junk in the house - WOW I can’t even imagine!! Maybe someday!    That’s why we have Bodyspace

So everyone hang in there! We can do it! Just say NO & don’t hang out by the food!!  And MOM – I love you, but please stop sending over goodies! They are so yummy but they go straight to my waist & ass!!!!!!!!! LOL

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!

-Debi

Yes, I have been doing alot of freaking out lately, I know.  But hormones suck!  If they aren’t making us girls weepy or hungry, they are making us bloated!  Just when I get really happy with my physique, a wrench gets thrown into the mix.  I guess that’s why we are always ‘Under Construction’ right? 

I just finished my 2nd round of hormones and I’m not happy.  This water isn’t budging, but then again I had some wicked munchies!!  I know — I somehow still have abs, but I’m carrying most of this water in my flanks & ass.  So here’s the thing…. I was trying to look on the bright side…. Tight Curves is having a 12 week challenge starting tomorrow for their team members.  So I thought PERFECT - I’m bloated, I’ll take a terrible before picture & then diet hard.  I was going to be dieting anyway for the Ironman Contest, so this was all good timing.  Well I had my bodyfat tested for the TC Challenge and I say to the guy - I want it to be high - Hahaha since it’s for a challenge.  Well I didn’t want it to be THIS high!! 17.8%  I almost fell over!  I don’t look it, but Damn!!  It was just with the handheld test, but still….

How depressing!!  So tomorrow I will take one of those horribly lit before pictures & move forward.  I am refusing to do any more rounds of hormones because I’m in two contests right now and need to be lean - my Doctor is going to LOVE me! 

People outside of our ‘Community’ would see worrying about a little water weight as very Vain - I know - but WE understand that we work hard, we are dedicated and we make sacrifices — and we don’t appreciate anything messing with our bodies!! LOL

It is chicken, broc and sweet potatoes for me - OH It’s GO Time!!!!!