CClose your eyes.  Imagine that Christmas of 25-20 years past.  Perfect, right?   Until you realize that ?Santa? failed to include the 6-C batteries required to operate that goovy, awesome, jazzy technologically advanced doohickey coveted all year long.  The one you envisioned with each yard you raked of leaves. The one you saw more as reality than as a dream when you counted down the hours passed until the return of Billy?s parents to grant relief of babysitting duties.  And yes, the loot!  Hardly IRA worthy, but the one for which even that harASSing, cool kid longed.  I never imagined owning it without the batteries.  It seemed Santa had a comedic streak. He got jokes?WTF?!

Then at age 25 or so, I realized the significance of thought in asking for something.  And the appreciation of All it entails.  I had the perfect job, red sports car and size ?0? wardrobe.  But like that ?toy? for which I yearned, a decreased marginal utility was not foreseen.  Batteries perish while the item usually chugs on ? low power or worst à None. 

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 Answer, " Criticize her gluteus maximus."  That should do the trick.  Ask my hubby.  A fabulous example occurred this summer at the mall. 
 That afternoon, hubby?s personal thoughts were constantly echoed as we searched for a new pair of jeans.  Contrary to the marquis on the door, my efforts of finding a new pair of jeans with a satisfactory fit and style, proved me anything but ?Lucky?.  To expedite the process and since I was familiar with the brand styles, I shared my specific criteria needed for a suitable, successful purchase.  I requested a size 24 Regular length which I knew fit like a charm.  But, as I proceeded with the fitting of a dozen pairs, my hubby and I noted they did not.
 Clearly visible in the 3 way mirror, I knew the culprit whom I had gotten quite familiar with the past year ? ACL Reconstructive surgery and the remnants it left behind ? atrophy!  My hubby knew what was wrong and flagrantly opined, ?Your butt is crooked!?   I egotistically shouted, ?I know.  The right cheek is small(er), the right thigh is too.?    It is visually asymmetrical, yet proportionate to my waist (double ?00? we chuckled.   Two hours later, after trying on several pairs of jeans, we left with a ?winner?- me.  
 

"Be Neither Victim Nor Culprit" - December 12, 2006 (original post)

It's not worth it.  I speak only from MY experience(s).  Regarding the said topic, I have been on both sides of the fence.  Unlike most females, I am often the aggressor.  Like most females, I am not as physically strong as the average male. 

Many of you already know that I tore my ACL in September.  But you don't know how I tore it, right?  Although "possible, it is rare that a completely torn ACL along with meniscus, etc. occurs from a simple fall.  Until today, that has been "How I tore my ACL.  But today I reveal the truth.  Today I was reminded just how quick arguments can escalate to levels of domestic violence beyond imagination. 

Today marks 3 months since my life changing injury.  It also marks my 13^th month of marriage.  My husband watches the changes endured by his "fitness babe because of an incident of which we lost control 3 months ago.  Angry words and a series of berating verbal blows led to physical challenges. The verbal insults were not enough.  I unjustly "threw the first stone.  I threw the only stones.  But, the wrestling:the struggle to free myself from his restraints:we agree that this activity had a direct correlation to my sustained injuries. 

As I said earlier, I am an aggressor.  But I recall asking for a mutual halt of the physical confrontation:and not receiving any reprieve.  Because I was the initial aggressor, my pleas were ignored.  Because I LOOK muscular and was fighting like "a man:my husband ignored my declarations of undue discomfort.  

When I was allowed to get up from the wrestling match, I stubbornly put on my competition stilettos and verified that I could gracefully make quarter turns for presentation.  Painfully I turned and smiled. The ??big dance' was in 2 days.  After taking a shower to ease the pain in my knee, I laid down for a nap. I shortly detected a horrible pain existing in my left knee.

After icing the affected knee and resting, I attempted to go to the bathroom.  Wrong.  I fell down:a degree of pain never experienced prior. What the &*^#$)???!!!!  Through the night and early morning I was able to get to the restroom only with my husband's ability and willingness to carry me. He told me then that my competition in the upcoming, much anticipated show looked doubtful.  He was correct.  I was in denial that this was happening.  Even after my doctor's initial prognosis, I wondered would crutches be allowed:or would the officials declare that a prophmmmmmmm.)

Well, I was having my knee MRI whilst the competitors were on stage for pre-judging.  [the angst] It confirmed that my ACL was history. The damage report was surreal.  My worst fear had materialized.  I needed to undergo surgery ... invasive surgery.  I had reconstructive ACL surgery 5 weeks later.  Today, 17 weeks later since occurrence, I manage my grief to by best ability.  My goal goes beyond simply attaining the physical conditioning that I possessed prior to the incident.  I desire a personal state of equanimity.  I need not allow anything or anyone take me out of my zone ... whatsoever it may be.  I could have walked away:I needed not to strike In anger.

Just as I maintain self-control in contest preparation, I strive to have such poise in my personal relationship.  A strong mutual love is shared by my husband and me.  If we could, we would turn back the clock.  Since we can't, we live with the repercussions and optimistically act for our futures.

You too have MS?  A decade ago I thought this to be ?impossible?. Today I fully understand the seriousness of this situation for one afflicted by the chronic illness Multiple Sclerosis [MS]. 

Impaired speech, mobility, vision, hearing, and sensory perception are ALL potential manifestations of an illness for which a cause has yet to be defined and a more important cure still does NOT exist [at least known to the general population]. To avoid an imposition of medical jargon, I suffer from a condition I liken to a short-circuited electrical system.  Outward appearance, I look ?normal? [whatever this is considered].  Yes, I?ve graced over 15 Figure competition stages?including the national level stage en route to IFBB Pro Status.  Yes, ?Dawn Melanie? is the unlikely competitor.  She has been suffering with a chronic illness for 10 years and counting.   She?s been deaf (Fall 2004)? even blind (Jan. 2008), but continued to train for the next show.The humility often delivered in the month of September has arrived again.  10 years ago, Sept, 10, 1998, I could not participate in my 3^rd MS-150 Bike Tour, a benefit bicycle ride to raise funds for a seeming deserving organization.  6 months later, after misdiagnoses, multiple MRIs and spinal taps, I was diagnosed with the same illness that I had worked to eradicate.  Sept. 2004, I was without hearing with my right ear.  SINCE Sept. 2005, I have not felt ?SOFT? ? my sensory signals register even the supplest of materials as rough, sandpaper like.  I CAN definitely report a room?s temperature when it drops below 71-degrees F. How? When contacted by cool air, my hands Hurt!!!  Sept. 2008 I am still dealing with a poor balance and walking issue.  I can NOT detect which plane I am on.  Walking is difficult and standing still is even more cumbersome.So, today, September 10, 2008, I count my blessings.  I may never compete in a Figure Competition ? especially as long as WALKING & quarter turns are mandatory.  But, I know that I have been and continue to be the best ?Dawn Melanie?/ ?DM? that I could and can be. Why? I?ve fallen off a NON-operating treadmill.   ?Funnier? (subjective point of view) ? I?ve fallen off a treadmill because I?ve fallen asleep whilst walking.  Go on ? you can laugh. I certainly did.  *smile*   ~DM

It was hot,

It was fresh,

Sometimes it burned my tongue,

But always, Comforting,

Pizza Friday

 

Cheese,

Pepperoni,

?The Works?,

Toppings did not matter,

Pizza Friday

 

Rootbeer,

Iced and Cold,

Garlic Sauce,

Jalopeno Peppers,

Pizza Friday

 

My diet will change,

Melancholy I?ll be,

Memories eternal,

12 weeks - no more,

Pizza Friday

What DOES that mean? And why are the garbled, mumbled lyrics resonated by the masses of inebriated individuals at every gathering celebrating the forthcoming 365 days. My thought ? No One Knows the Darn lyrics!  But, there exists a consensus that we should gather, be merry and pretend to forget the wounds beget by our ?acquaintances?? sometimes friends? sometimes loved ones.  Unfortunately, realistically our fakeness is ephemeral ? sort of like all the New Years? Resolutions to workout 5 x?s per week.

I speak of that notorious resolution triggering new memberships, enrollment fees and shopping sprees producing clutter in our closets and garages.  We then blame our ?gym rat? associate for persuading the signing of a 4 year gym contract.   Hah! ? that will be ?brought to mind? every month when your checking account is drafted for $49.99 plus tax.

We all want to be happy, right?  Well, I do.  So, for year 2008, my resolution/prediction/mission statement (whatever you term it) is this ? ?DO ME!?  No, this is not a mild, sexual innuendo. Instead, it is a verbal commitment to me and suggestion to all others to be honest with one?s self first.  Others WILL disappoint you from time to time (Really, they will).  But, no one should be given the liberty or power to determine our ultimate happiness. 
 

?Let auld acquaintance be forgot, And never bought to mind.? 
More like ? Let auld acquaintance be forgot? and NEVER given the TIME (of day)!

Happy New Year 2008! Be productive, stay positive and disown ?those? acquaintances ? persons, places, things and, or thoughts. *smile*

~Dawn Melanie

Apparently, Mama was on to something when she chimed, ?All that meat and No potatoes.?  As most teens and young adults, I disregarded her apparent algorithm, unbeknownst to her.  I achieved competition level leanness ? eating a whole lot of meat and very little potatoes.  ?Twas the classic low carb, high protein diet.  But, as I prepare to enter the 2008 Competition season, the said carbohydrate and family members are friends of mine

Broccoli and egg whites will forever be staples in the competition diet of body building and fitness.  But, as I look forward to my much anticipated continued success of growth and symmetry again, I salute CARBOHYDRATES, the body?s primary source of fuel.  Carbs?Rock On!!!

I am celebrating spring 2007 a week earlier than the ?official? date of the Vernal Equinox.  But, my celebration is in line with the many different walks of life celebrating a changing of seasons.

I looked at the calendar and reflected on the date, monumental to me it seems.  This weekend marks the 9^th anniversary of my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.  How time flies when you are having ?fun?J.  Nine years ago, I never dreamed that I?d be in the ?best shape? of my life now?9 years subsequent to diagnosis of a chronic illness.  The illness still permeates my daily activities, but the limitations are manageable.  I realized this is far from a ?death sentence?.  It is simply a call to adjust.  I have and I continue to adjust everyday to its unpredictable nature.Because of this, I want to say ?Hoorah!? especially to my MS buddies here on Bodyspace demonstrating their own perseverance despite the challenge.  Go on, please take your bows. JI am celebrating another obstacle I continue to overcome ? recovery of a completely torn ACL on Sept. 13, 2006.  It?s been a half year, 6 months since the sadly accidental injury that occurred 2 days before a much anticipated appearance at a national Figure show.  Since then, I have YET to lift utilizing my quad muscles in a capacity with any sort of semblance to pre-injury status.  Muscle atrophy has ruined any symmetry desired and sought in Figure competitions.  But, I?ll continue with the balancing and strengthening movements with hopes to get medical clearance within a month to restart my lower body weight lifting routine.Ooh yeah, and 3 months since my foot surgery...a "Bunionectiony".  A success there too it seems.  I'm walking again...and can wear low heels.  Whew, just in time for the cute sandal season.  lol

a Baked Potato.

Ok already, I was hungry after my workout.  And besides, I needed some protein quick!  I did toss one of the 3 burgers' buns.  And I only ate half of the sour cream WITH butter baked potato.  With the exception of the grease content, it was a decent meal, UNTIL:

:And 9 Months to a Full Recovery by "Dawn Melanie.  This is not some Nostradamus type prophecy.  It is simply a realization that I had after talking to a complete stranger:with words of a friend.

When responding to the now infamous question, "What happened to your knee?  I briefed him on my ACL injury, how it destroyed the linear progress I was enjoying in the Fitness arena, and how I wanted to compete again.  But, I qualified my competition return date.  I squeamishly resounded, "I want to compete in 2007, on August 31^st-Sept.1^st. 

Although he just met me, he detected the passion, the sense of urgency that I posses to get back on stage.  He compellingly questioned my seemingly apparent doubt.  Perhaps it was my pitiful shoulder shrug that accompanied my halfhearted unconvincing statement?  I'm not sure.  But I am positive that what he said next was downright commonsensical, "It takes 9 months to have a baby!  Your competition is almost 10 months post-op.

Well, I respect bearing and delivery of human life, but I have no plans, near or future, to join the ranks of motherhood.  However, I can appreciate "John's statements that brought me to rescind any residual doubt that I would be on the Figure stage in Ohio for the North American show. 

Today, February 9^, 2007, I have no doubts and few questions:mainly,

   "What shall be the color, fabric and style of my 2-piece for the 2007 GNC IFBB North American Figure show?  J

: [Times] is a definite measure establishing a commitment to reach a goal?  I speak of my past week of working out and re-hob of my new surgically embedded ACL.  I managed to work out 4 times this week for 90-120 minutes each session.  And another day remains:tomorrow.

Yes, I plan to arrive at the gym by 8am.  This will ensure that I can complete 2 hours of training before the late morning Saturday crowd make their presence.  I like active gyms, sometimes too much, as I talk more than 50% of my time spent there,    I just want to eschew any avoidable distractions to my plan of attack of recovery efforts.  I understand that in the course of life, "distractions are indeed inevitable. More importantly, they can be MANAGED.

Hopefully tomorrow, the Dallas area will be free of cold, wintry weather.   If we are stricken with such, I won't fall victim to forgoing my gym experience using the inclement weather as an excuse.  I'll keep an eye on the weather reports and accordingly delay my commute.  Yes, I prefer working out at 8am on Saturday morning, but the importance to maintain my recently ??re-found' training consistency far outweighs any existing or potential idiosyncrasies of the gym.  Here's to a good week with more to follow!     --Dawn Melanie

Why Not?  Why don't we stick with our plan to accomplish whatever goals we may have in life?  Perhaps financial obligations are of utmost importance?  Or maybe other family matters need to be resolved immediately?  Maybe we are just weary and beat by the woes of everyday life.

Nonetheless, it seems that a means to succeed exists in every situation.  Hopefully, my story today is not unexpected.  My story today depicts how I was reminded to never say, "I could've, I would've, I should've but I didn't.  Today, I DID.  I did as much as I could physically and mentally to make certain my full recovery after fall '06 ACL surgery.

Routines are named so for good reason.  They are just that ... "routines.  Often monotonous in nature these scheduled tasks become habitual.  Although tedious as the repetition allows for little or no spontaneity, the everyday performance of such tasks often leads to goal accomplishment. 

At 5:00 am, I woke to re-start a "routine once temporarily set aside. I speak of my ritual like 5x/week gym program.  I use the word "ritual as I set out to perform a series of actions and procedures in a set, ordered, just shy of ceremonial way.  From the already prepared breakfast, needing only brief exposure to some microwave heating, to the 2 gym bags meticulously packed with at gym, ready to leave gym and post gym gear, my day began.

Training revolved around strengthening my knee for complete rehabilitation.  I rarely do much cardio exercises, but today I started and finished with cardio activities.  I began with the recumbent bicycle for 25 minutes and concluded with 20 minutes of elliptical training.  Both were at a moderate to hard intensity, although limited hard intensity.  This gave me an opportunity to exercise the supporting knee muscles for strength.  As for weight training, I did 4 sets of moderately heavy (35 lbs) dead lifts, stiff legged dead lifts:then 4 sets of hip abductor and adductor work:and 4 sets of straight leg quad extension (2.5 lbs for 25 reps), straight leg hip flexor (5lbs. for 25 reps).

The amount of weight I moved today is a far cry from my past "norm.  But, with a continued following to my "routine in a ritual-like manner, I'm sure to see increasing gains in knee strength.  In 3 months:in  6 months:in 7 months ('07 IFBB NPC North American Figure Competition) months later:I do not want to be able to say, "I Could've, I Would've, I Should've, but I didn't.  Because today, I DID:and I will do again tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that:

Whether influenced by Norse mythology, urban legend, or biblical stories, western culture has perennially been fascinated with triskaidekaphobia, a phenomenon more commonly known as the "fear of 13.  Why do so many suffer from this often considered unfounded fear?  As I conclude today's activities and reflect, I am inclined to say that the number 13 should be associated more with that of good and positive effects.  My healing surgically replaced ACL is the root of my conviction.

Today, January 19, 2007, marks 13 weeks post Reconstructive ACL surgery for me.  13 weeks of often failed attempts to discount any feelings that would reveal my endured anguish ... both physically and mentally.  13 weeks embarked on a journey for which I preferred to never go.   13 weeks of being patient.

Yes, I am assuming the title "Humpty Dumpty yet again. I've fallen and I WILL get up.
The fall I mention this time is a more subtle one in comparison to the one that led to my recently torn ACL. This one was calculated. I mathematically figured that I could wreck any semblance of a healthy meal day and still be "ok in the morning. This warped thinking initiates the demise of healthy success.

No, I am not indulging in the wonderful culinary delectable dishes which so many competitors are partaking. (Chicken breast, protein powder, egg whites) But this should not give me a "free pass everyday, all day long. I used the inclement weather as an excuse to consumewhatever was in the house. Shopping was not a viable option with the accumulation and far from ephemeral ice on the roadways.

Well, I ate an entire bag of Oreo cookies (I don't even like chocolate, but they were sweet and satisfied my sweet tooth). To balance the Oreo's with something savory, I devoured a bag of Flavor Blasted Goldfish. Both were started and finished after I finished a half bag of Teddy Grahms this afternoon. [Note: these were NOT individual serving bags. These were full, multi-serving items.]

My calculations were skewed nonetheless. Usually, I don't let this type of erratic behavior bother me. Today it has. Today marks 5 consecutive days in which I did not work out. Worse, I made no attempt. I even failed to do my knee re-hab exercises today. (I did do a lot of indoor walking ... room to room) Tomorrow, I will do better. Anything is better than nothing. Rain, sleet and/or snow:I AM getting Physical tomorrow!!!

My inquiry is, "To those out there, in "Bodyspace" land, who have had a torn ACL and perhaps subsequent surgery, what has been your experiences thus far?" 

Just today, I have haphazardly come across a few members here with knee surgical tratment - past, present and, or future.   When I say, "future", I mean planned or scheduled.  By no means am I claiming to be a clairvoyant. 

Anyway, I am 3 months post Reconstructive ACL surgery and have significant hopes for competition years 2007/2008.  It has been a challenging,ongoing struggle.  However, each passing day yields healing progress.  Negative, I am not sulking or giving up on competing again.  I am just curious to hear YOUR stories. 

Cheers!