Blog Entry
Going from fat to fabulous is creating a lot of changes in me. They are not all physical. My husband is starting to wonder if he really wanted what he was wishing for. He wanted the old me in a pretty package but it doesn’t work that way. When you make a major change, it affects all areas of the person and life.
I am no longer content with our old life style. I want adventure and passion. I want to get out and explore…blaze a new trail. I don’t want to do things just because someone else wants too. I will no longer accept just going through life. I want to live it. I am becoming selfish.
That’s right. Before my world centered around others and making their life better. It no longer does. Now it’s all about me and what I want. I realized that I was suppressing and limiting myself. I had dreams and desires that I wasn’t reaching. I was throwing them in a box in the closet to be dug out in old age with regret. I was helping other reach their dreams while mine collected dust. I put everyone else, including the dog, before me. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was.
I no longer settle or just agree. I am finding I no longer have things in common with people I have been around for a long time. My old friends and habits no long fit like a comfortable worn shoe. I have a new pair to break in.
Things that didn’t matter before do now. I expect romance and pretty words. I want hot dates and sweaty sex often and not just when he is in the mood. That’s right. I expect him to step up to bat even when he isn’t the one call the game. I did it for him and now its his turn. Oh and dont even think about not cuddling. I used to be easy to get along with now I am demanding. Although I didn’t realize it, I had many needs that went unmet and now that is going to change. I won’t settle for the “old married couple” life any more. There are adventures out there to be had and I am going to take them. Life is for the living and I am so ready to live.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am a good wife and mother. I still do those mundane things like cooking and clean and going to work. I just expect more attention and want to do things that interest me. I think when my husband wanted me to change physically he wasn’t thinking that it would cause a tidal wave of changes—especially those that he would have to make. This is a little warning: you better be careful for what you wish for.
January 25, 2008 at 7:10 am
W2G Girl! It is definatly interesting whenever there is ‘growth’ in one person to see if the other person will ‘grow’ along with you!! Change is always happening!! We can either learn to dance with change…or hide from it…but no matter what…CHANGE HAPPENS!! What an incredible love it would be if he would jump in, take charge, and change with you!!
January 25, 2008 at 7:15 am
As the new energy and vitality wash about you I only ask that you remember that in all things balance. The pendulum at either end makes you unsteady and being unsteady makes you weak and miserable.
I am not saying not to go for the adventure and "hot, sweaty sex with a cuddle". Just remember that a boring night can be good too.
No, you are not the same as you were because you are who you are now. In a month or two you will be different yet again. This is very stressful on relationships. I talked about this in my interview with Angelfish. You must decide which relationships are worth the effort to grow along with you and which are not able to change.
This is one of the reasons why I am so happy that my wife is eating better and working out with me. Our relationship will change together. Some things will be for the better and some for the worse, The bottom line is that my marriage relationship is the sole relationship that I want to be in perfect balance with 90% of the time.
January 25, 2008 at 7:34 am
That was a great blog Steph! (My Driver) Yes alot of people dont think of all the little changes that come with getting fit. Now in my relationship with my wife…. Ithink it has become a good thing. Like you I have made choices that benefit my lifestyle…. andI think that she see’s i’m not willing to compromise on those things….I think it brought out a new level of respect! She dont fight with me anymore about time I spend in the gym…. or supplements I buy…. She knows thats who I am now. I think with physcial strength…comes mental strength…because we really use both when we lift!
Real Men Have Mass!
January 25, 2008 at 7:41 am
It’s so true. When I started working out and eating right not many people were really supportive. Granted, I had claimed to be getting back into shape in the past, but at the time it was because of external pressures, not interanal desire. Now that they see that I am serious and sticking with it, they are coming around. And I do notice that I am happier with myself. And it gets projected out.
January 25, 2008 at 8:01 am
There is a freedom that comes with taking controll of one’s life. It can be scary when seen from the outside. Embrace it without relinquishing that controll to each whim that comes upon you.
January 25, 2008 at 10:36 am
I am glad i read your blog today Steph. I really glad to see you making these positive changes in your life. You are gaining confidence and beginning to see that you deserve those things you are demanding, and you have the right to not just settle for status quo anymore. My guess is, you are probably a better wife and mother now that you are taking some "Steph" time, or at least you are happier in those roles. You can’t live your whole life for other people.
January 25, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Love the confidence and zest for life busting out of you, my friend!! It’s explosive and infectious… awesome blog
January 26, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Ok Steph…this is it girl. You are going all the way now with this thing. I can sense the earthquake. It can be earth shattering…but one hell of a ride! Tell hubbie to hold on tight dear! A storm is at hand. And it’s not gonna be a quiet one.
January 27, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Sounds like you’re finally starting to BREATHE in life!:)) That’s not selfish, and your kids and hubby will benefit and your healthy ideas will definitely rub off on them, don’t worry they’ll catch up(if they haven’t already).