Dannielle’s BodyBlog

Not feelin the best these days…. Was sick the last week so I havent been to the gym in about 5 days. Yuck. Diet has remained decent. I say decent because on Sunday I ate meals that were not on the menu… Not bad for me, just not the ones that are planned. Nor did I eat as frequntely as I should have. Gym will pick back up tomorrow. Same with cardio. I move in mmmm….. 27 days. That is not that far out. I want to look great for my boyfriend. It will have been a bit over two months since I have seen him. I am excited. So yeah, 27 days. Need to really step it up. I am SO sick of having this da*m rear that I have. I want a shapely little rump and the hams to go with it. I will have that. Just need to step it up a notch with the cardio. K– a big notch. I got this.

Well, I have been really trying to find a simple balance in things for me regarding diet and exercising. Ok, more diet because I have no problem with exercising. I love going to the gym. Diet though, I am going to be easier on myself and try to give myself variety instead of eating the same thing 5 times a dat 7 times a week. Variety as in, same macros but different items. Granted, it cant be all the same, but I will try to stay consistant within a few grams of carbs, fats, protein. Just so much easier. I wont do this for every meal, just breakfast and my last meal of the day, and not necessarily everyday either. Then on the weekend, I will eat what ever I want for one meal (within reason). I am not a competitor, nor am I trying to be one, so why eat exactly like one. And this way, as some of you smart people say to  me, will allow me not to go insane.

On another note, I am now moving at the end of November instead of October (very sad, but it works). On the bright side, that gives me a lot of time to work on my physique. I was planning on selling my stepper (very nice commercial line stepper that my boyfriend gave me to keep), but you know, I have been thinking and I just don’t know if I can part with it. It rarely has time to collect dust and it is SOO much more convenient that doing cardio at the gym…. so I may keep it. We shall see. Holidays are coming up so I probably should keep it around!

I have fallen off the band wagon– as the saying goes. Oh my goodness. In the past 3 1/2 weeks I have cheated on my diet, I have slacked on my cardio, and missed out on lifting sessions (due to being nasty sick and then going out of town). Excuses, right? I have gained ummmm….7 lbs??? Scale says 155lbs. I believe the last time I posted I was at 148 or 147. Going to Vegas was great for me, as well as extremely horrible. I drank, smoked and partied like it was going out of style. Bad. I have had so much going on this last month that I have given myself excuse after excuse to not stay on track. Abs? Non-existent now, 14% bf, most definitely not, saddest part is…. I can get that all back SO easily. Maybe it is just me thinking this, but I have noticed my body changes very easily. One french fry makes me gain 5 lbs. and 5 days of cardio leans me up really fast. It is very extreme either way. I could be a good actress… needing to change my body really fast. LOL. My issue is, DOING IT.  

 I have noticed that, when I diet, I DIET. I can go for weeks/months and do great. But as soon as I am done with that specific time frame I planned for, that is when it hits. Give me chocolate, give me sweets, give me SOMETHING that is NOT diet food. So then I go on this…. ummm 2/3 week binge of still eating diet food, but on top of that, I add in something BAD for me. I deprived myself of the things for so long, that I just go crazy. So my weight goes down, down, down, then BAM! Up, up! Then back down, down, down, then BAM! Up!. So I still lose, but in the process I gain, then lose more, then gain a little… get my point?   

So here I am…. moving to another state in exactly 4 weeks. New life, new people, new everything. So I have 4 weeks to get in shape. 4 weeks is a lot of time if I actually DO IT. I am a VERY influential person… is that the right wording?? Basically, I am influenced very easily. Also, when I get stressed, it is VERY easy for me to stray back to old habits. (wine). 

4 weeks. I need to be motivated. I need to stay motivated. I suppose the thought of walking into a whole new environment should do that for me. On a side note, I started taking my fat burner again today (been about…. mmm…. a month+) and phew! wow. Strong. Hyperdrive 3.0+ by ALRI. I love it, always have (especially the original). It has a supressor in it, so that should help with cravings. It is on. 4 weeks and counting….

Well, the last couple of weeks have been a bit on the rough side. I have a lot of things going on right now and I find it really hard to keep my stress levels down. It is funny how we get so wrapped up in our lives, that we just forget to stop and breath. I have this friend who is the most schedule oriented person I have ever known. She juggles 3, soon to be 4 kids, has an amazing career and is working on her masters right now. She is a long time friend and such a wonderful person. I think about her a lot when I start getting the "poor me" syndrome of never having me time. I work full time and have a child full time. Then squeeze in gym and other activites in the midst. But yet, like many people I find myself still complaining. Why is that?

On the bright side, these things are all good things that are going on right now, so I need to learn to breath and enjoy it. Its just so easy to get wrapped up in life.

Training is good. I love training my back. That has always been my favorite muscle group to train. I can almost do a pullup on my own! I know seems little, but I have NEVER done even a single pullup on my own. My boyfriend says I could do one on my own if I tried, but I am psyching myself out. He could be right. Who knows, but ever since I started doing them on every back day, I can see a huge difference in my back. I love it!

Still cant rid the rear. My own fault. Was really sick so wasnt able to do cardio for a week, makes a huge difference. Keep on keepin on. Olympia is in less than 2 weeks. I am excited. And the best part, I’ve lost like 45 lbs of fat since the last time. That makes me feel good.

I watched this video on our site, about Ron Lester. It was the latest one I believe. Rob had asked him what was going on and why he wasnt sticking to his diet/exercise plan. Part of what Ron had said hit home. He lost all that weight, and is now more self conscious than before because he is not where he wants to be. Just sitting in this middle spot basically. (thats not verbatum). Same is with me. I think at times I had more confidence 40lbs heavier. Because now, I am in this spot of, I lost this weight, my stomach looks like hell from having a child (yeah, boo hoo) and losing weight, and I am not where I want to be. I get so frustrated at times and just lose it. It seems like, when you get on the band wagon to perfection, the further out of reach it becomes. And I dont mean "oh I want to be perfect". No one is. I mean the image society portrays on people, on women. It is everywhere. Magazines, TV, hell, even BodySpace. Its like…. what is good enough? What do you want us to look like? Do I need to have big boobs, bend over in a bikini and flaunt my rear to be recognized? How is that fitness related? Well, its in fitness magazines… so apparently it is. What is healthy? Is it the Vogue model or the fitness model or the gal sitting at 23% bodyfat wearing a size 12 pant that is happy? I have always prided myself in being a person that does not care what others think about me. I have had my own inner confidence, because I am who I am. But now that I have lost weight, and simlpy the fact that I am surrounded by health, beauty, boobs, and muscles on a daily basis, whether it be work or at the store… I have found that sence of security just drop. Why is it that we are so judged or better yet, why do we all judge others so much? Men and women. Then you look at the IFBB…. they made wearing a bikini and sportin big boobs a sport? Really? Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against fake boobs, I have wanted them ever since I had my daughter and then losing weight made it much more wanted, and I intend to get them. So breath people, I am all about buying to improve. My thing is, how does sporting a bikini and showing off as much as you can but still being clean make you an ALTHETE? International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness. And they make wearing bikini apart of that? These women are BEAUTIFUL. Put them in a modeling magazine or bikini magazine. To call them and Athlete by giving then a Pro Card? Really? Ok– maybe thats a whole other issue with me. Point is…. How do you not get yourself wrapped up in all the hype. How do you get past that lump of knowing you will never look like this one gal, but you will look better than that one? Such a pain in my AS$! Why is it we let our minds over power us. I guess it just goes to show I have a lot more work to do than I thought. Inside and out. Sucks when you come to that realization. Grrr. Oh well. Today is back day at the gym. My fav.

Had one last night. Oh yes, yes I did. My boyfriends parents are in town, so I had them all over for dinner last night. Needless to say, no chicken was eaten either. Steak, potatoes and corn on the cob baby. And for dessert, ROOT BEER FLOATS! I havent had one of those for years and it was so yummy. Thank goodness there were 5 of us so it took all the ice cream so I had none left in my house. Phew.

However, this last week has been horrible. K- last few weeks. I keep track of my diet and training at home and at work on a calander. And on the days that I did not fully do as planned, whether that be bad on my diet (substituted a carb source, ate a gummy bear, maybe some chocolate…), or didnt do cardio…. what not…. well guess how many days this month got a frowny face by them. 12. Yup. 12. Am I proud of that? Hell no. Do I see or feel a difference in my body. Yup. I have gained 3 lbs. Granted. I can drop that fast. Point is, I see it, feel it and dont love it. Now with family in town, I know for a fact I will be eating 2 more bad meals (they are planned). It is depressing. Grr! I have 3 weeks to drop 3% bodyfat and at the rate I am going, I swear I am going to go up 3% not down.

It is time to buckle down. It was much easier when my boyfriend was dieting for a show. Was easier to not cheat or want bad food, because I knew I wasnt the only one. Now that he can have bad food, I feel like I should be able to as well. It sucks. And cardio… good gracious. I know I would not be feeling as lame and blah right now if I would just get my rear out of bed in the morning to do it. At night, not that big of a deal unless I am extremely tired. But mornings, good gracious. I just need to stay motivated. It is hard. I truly admire the men and women that compete. How you do it over and over. I just want chocolate. FAT. Makes you fat! I need to remember that. Especially if I want these lil’ abs to come through…. oh and those money maker muscles I got creepin down my tummy that just want to show…. Got to do this!

Not feelin to hot today. Hungry, lazy, blah feeling. I did get up this morning though and still do 40 minutes of cardio. I woke up late though, so I had to cut it a little short. You know, for the last week I have not been in the groove of things. I am still going to the gym. I did slack on my cardio for 3 days, but still continue with my diet. I cheated over the weekend. (jelly bellys baby) And in the gym, I am just…. sluggish. I am back to that point that you feel at the very beginning. The, its just not what you want or where you want to be feeling. So then you get frustrated all over again. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing anything right at the gym. Does anyone know that feeling. My boyfriend says it is a good thing, because its not good to be satisfied. You should always continue to improve. I agree. But good gracious, it gets really hard at times. Frustrating. Discouraging. And now, I am eating green beans like they are going out of style, and I have never really… enjoyed them. I think it has been a good 8 or more years since I have had green beans. That takes some dedication, thank you. And a lot of salt and pepper.

People ask me frequantly if its worth the constant dieting and being hungry. If I am satisfied and when I am going to stop. Well, yeah its worth it. Its working isn’t it? Again, of course I am not satisfied and I am not going to stop. My decision isnt to make this a fly bye, 12 week hurdle at a time just once and then think that because I lost weight, I dont have to worry anymore. It is a lifestyle. I will have splurges, like going somewhere fancy to eat or a burger joint every few months, but thats it. Oh, and have dark chocolate on occasion, but nothing that is a big deal. I really enjoy cooking my own food, and would prefer it. Once I am to a point where I would like to maintain, then that is what I will do. But I have to get there first. Yummmmy, green beans.

I did it! I reached… no PASSED my goal of 15% bodyfat! Oh, what a happy time. I had my boyfriend take my fat last night, made him do it 3 times because I just didnt believe it. I also made him do 7 sites and 4 sites just to see what the difference was. 4 sites I was at 14.01% and 7 sites I was at 13.89%! So basically 14%! The thing is, it just doesnt seem like it in my eyes. But, I guess that is how everyone is.

My boybriend had to do a lot of explaining to me last night to help me understand that people carry fat differenty and in different spots. My "fat spots" are my thighs and rear and lower belly. The rest of my body is very lean. Shoulders, back, chest, upper stomach, calves. All that is very lean.

So what does this mean? Well, for one I get to eat more calories!! I have been gaining a lot of lean muscle (yay!) and losing the fat. This also means I know what to work on now. I did take pics this morning, I will post them as soon as I put them on a CD so I can upload them. I am still very insecure about my body though. So time to break it down…. Having my daughter was the greatest thing that ever happened to me…. emotionally and in life… however for my body, NO. When I was 7 months pregnant, my stomach did all the growing. I didnt even have to buy maternity clothes til 6 months along, and that was just because my pants didnt fit in the waist line comfortably. My daughter was a month early, so within 2 months, I had about 80% of my growth, do you know where this is getting to? Yeah… all the cocoa butter lotion and vitamin E oil I used on my skin did nothing. I was still left with stretch marks and lose skin after I had her. So to this day, I of course have stretch marks that I hate, and a bit of lose skin under my belly button of which I call my pooch. It sucks. I will have it removed once I am done having kids, but until then, I have to deal with it. I know there are a lot of women out there that have the same problem I do, and have accepted it and show it, but I just cannot bring myself to that. To worried about it I guess. Very, very self conscious, and it definitely takes an emotional toll. So, that is a huge reason too why I do not post a lot of pics. But I will… And I will continue to work on my stomach and get rid of as much as I can and make it as tight as I can…. the rest will just have to come later…

Anywho— new goal…. 12 % by Sept 1st. Think I can do it? We shall see! Lets rid of this last bit-o-booty and be hard, hard, hard!!!!

So… going on mmmmm… the end of two weeks for this new diet. So far so good. I like it. I set myself a goal of another 12 week cut down. I’ll be honest, that first 5 weeks, I cheated every now and again. Nothing big, just dark chocolate every now and again and then the meals I already mentioned after my boyfriends show… but other than that, it may have been a bite here and there of my childs food, but nothing that would throw off a diet. Or so I thought. This last two weeks, I have been PERFECT with my diet. I havent cheated once and it is SO hard. It is hard not to steal ONE little fruit snack gummy when I give my daughter fruit snacks, or a small bite of here coco puffs in the morning. Just a bite. It has been tough. And I tell myself oooh its like an additional 20 calories… come one… then I remind myself, that adds up and I just cannot do it. This last 6 weeks means a lot to me, and quite frankly I wish the entire 12 weeks would have been better. But this is my home stratch. I have to be perfect and do everything exactly how my boyfriend says… or not only will I be cheating myself… but he will know. Oh yeah, he will.

My weight has gone down… I can already tell a difference in my stomach (despite woman thing…. that we have each month… lol) Even then, I still see a difference. My man says so too. I have stuck to my cardio in the morning and night. There was only one day in the past week that I did not do cardio at all, and only two days that I did it only once. (i’m doing it twice a day)Trust me, that has been hard. In a week I will take my bodyfat again. See where I am at and adjust my food accordingly. My body is getting used to this diet. And on my high food days, I feel really full and it takes me about 40 minutes to finish a meal. Crazy since it is only 2100 cals for the day and I have 6 meals. So its really not much food, but for me, it is. That and oats FILL ME UP big time. But I stave on low days. The 1600 cal days. Yes I do.

ooooh on a side note… can anyone say "crooked obliques"! Yeah…. goes to show how much I carried my daughter on one dominate side. My left oblique is bigger than my right. Yeah…. GREAAAT. How the heck do you bring out just one?? Grrr. I’m working on it. I have been focusing on that side ever since I noticed it was much bigger on the left. Oh weird.

So my boyfriend and I re-did our diets on the way back from the Oregon State show. I am going to be doing a zig zag effect with my diet. Basically meaning for then next 6 weeks I will have 3 low days then 1 high day. (meaning calories). Eating basically the exact same thing I was however… my grocery list for just me is a total of 5 huge things. Grape Fruit (I LOVE), oats, eggs, chicken and greens (I chose spinach and romain). Thats my grocery list. Talk about saving money!! My daughter eats a lot of what I do (not in the diet form of course), so theres is not much else to my shopping which makes it quite nice. Yeah yeah, she gets her fruit snacks and soup and stuff… but I try to limit it.

 My total calorie intake for my low days is about 1600 and my high is about 2100. This way I am not at a constant low calorie fix and will maintain my muscle better. Something like that. (thats what the man says… he is quite good at what he does. My body has changed so much and I may be doing the work, but he is doing the prep., so needless to say, I will listen!!! Man I love it.) So… 7 weeks til I wanna be in a bikini…oooh snap. That is not very long. Thank goodness though, I have about 9 weeks(ish) unitil I go to Vegas. That gives me plenty of time to be even closer to where my goal is. My rear though… I need to step up my game again with the rear work. For about 4/5 weeks I worked my rear 3 times a week. During that time, I saw the biggest improvement. I am going to start doing that again. I want a booty like Ava Cowen.

 Two a day cardio sessions anyone? Actually I am going to be spliting up my style of cardio. I have Matt’s stair stepper now, so that is FABULOUS! I can do that in the morning about 4 times a week and then in the evening about 6 times a week. For the other 3 days a week, in the morning I will be dancing, so that will help shock my body up. I know I put myself behind this last week and a 1/2 but that is in the past. Cannot dwell on it, otherwise I will not move forward. Oh this next 7 weeks is going to be painful. Watchout co-workers. This is when I will be cranky and meeeeaaaaan. j/k.