Demon Alcohol
I just wish this fluid was devoid from my life entirely, I am fighting alcoholism like pancreatic cancer. Its winning the battle, cause Im not trying full force. I love my beer too much and most of my friends and part of my family are all drinkers from one degree to another. My father is almost a chronic alcoholic, and I believe it is inherited. This last weekend really threw me off the wagon. I was doing really good in the last few months with my fitness routine, but everybody wants to party with me. My wife wont quit smoking, and she also drinks like a fish on the weekends. I gave up on trying to convert her to this wonderful life of being fit. My son turned 21 and brings beer home almost everyday in our garage fridge, since he still is living with us. He is also athletic, but now the Demon alcohol is consuming him now. He claims he drinks it very moderately, but I told him give it time, if hes not carefull. Our camping trip that I just came back from this last Memorial day weekend was fun, there was too much unhealthy food and gorging around me, and just too much beer. I got easily tempted these last few weekends, and they are tuning into binge drinking episodes. I always brag about how I dont drink anymore during the whole week, but when friday night comes around, there goes my metabolism and my muscle building recovery. Then when Monday comes around I have to start all over again. I dont know what to do, I love my beer to much, but I just cant lose it, and Im not losing the belly fat like I should either. Oh great here comes summer with all the outdoor festivitys that are just going to hamper my fitness routine. I admit I am a F**king wussy with this situation and I am weak and hoplessly damned. Im a hard gainer with building muscles and Im about to give up, start smoking again, drink beer everyday, dont eat right, and hopefully I will die from this and then this pathetic existance will cease from suffering. I know this sounds very depressing, but I need help, and I wish that all my family and friends would stop exposing all this temptation before me. Im not LDS anymore, and Im not going to go back to that religion to reform my situation. (I dont want to insult anyones belief.) I am thinking of joining a real christian denomination to keep on on the right track if that helps me. I think I need help, and I want to strive better in my bodybuilding project because time is running out for me, the clock is ticking. I have a deadline at the age of Fifty. I want to look buffed. I apologize for this negative writing, but Im depressed and very discouraged with life, and being very economically declined now doesnt help either. My wife and I maybe facing forclosure of our house now cause of my job situation. My job went from full time to part time, and my wifes job as well, we are not staying above water. Im going to give up now. I think Im going to have my bodyspace removed from this site. thanks for reading my depressing blog.
May 26, 2009 at 10:05 am
Amazing post. I’m an LPN at a nursing home. It just makes me sad to see residents die from alcoholism. By the time they get to the home, they’ve given up. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. Don’t pussy out on life like the majority. There are many people here to support you. Be like the bamboo. Bend with the wind. Don’t break. My husband suffers from depression and you post breaks my heart.
May 26, 2009 at 10:10 am
DON"T EVER GIVE UP!! You may fail again and again, but don’t quit, keep getting up and trying again. You can beat this!
May 26, 2009 at 10:16 am
It’s a choice to make the change (and I do not wish to belittle your struggle in any way). My father was an alcoholic for 25 yrs, until quitting after hitting ROCK BOTTOM. My brother became on too, but finally quit after a major health scare. I never became one, by choosing not to follow my father’s example.
Suggestion: I don’t know about your wife, but you’re the father & it’s your home. Make your son quit bringing beer & alcohol home or sending him packing. Not good for him & he’s certainly undermining your efforts. You may have to choose new friends & avoid a lot of family gatherings if drinking is a big part of it, which is a temptation for you.
God Bless. DON’T GIVE UP.
May 26, 2009 at 10:18 am
Religion will not help you with your alcohol addiction,you need AA and you need it desperately!!!!!! You are dying inside and you need AA to show you how wonderful life really is. It takes time,but it works if you work it.Alcohol is a depressiant and only continues to make you more depressed everytime you drink,now man up and go to A meeting ASAP!!!!!
May 26, 2009 at 10:19 am
The fact that you took time to write all this for the world to see means you DON’T REALLY WANT to give up. You KNOW in your heart you want to bit fit, healthy and live a higher qualifty of life. You are facing difficult life circumstances that make it very hard to focus on what you need to do for yourself. To move in the right direction you must love and respect yourself more than anything or anyone else in the world. When you can do that it will be so much easier to focus on what is important to you every day. Let you wife, son, friends, whoever, have their beer, food, smokes. It’s got nothing to do with you. Only you control what you put into your body and only you can find the strength to say ‘no’ to pressure from others to do what you know in your heart is unhealthy for you. You need support from someone in your life who understands the lifestyle you want to lead and who can give you moral support. It may be a personal trainer, lifestyle coach, or even just another individual with the same goals as you. Keep searching for that support and please don’t give up.
May 26, 2009 at 10:35 am
AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING REDUNDANT- GET TO AN AA MEETING OF SOME SORT-AND FAST! LISTEN, GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU. PERIOD. YOU HAVE A FAMILY THAT YOU NEED TO MAN UP FOR. IF YOU DON’T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, NO ONE WILL. SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE, LET GO OF THE ADDICTION. Giving up alcohol is the best decision you could make, especially with all you’re going through. Please, I believe that you know the right decision here. Like many other things, it’s a choice. YOu lay down and die and let this thing beat you to the ground. Or YOU PCIK YOURSELF UP, BLOODY AND BRUISED AND WHOOP THIS THING FOR GOOD. Sincerely, God bless, Please be safe. Please get the help you need ASAP- NOW!
May 26, 2009 at 11:10 am
I battled with alcoholism for years as well before I was finally delivered from it. It wouldn’t be exaggeration to say that from when I was 18 until I was 29, there were probably less that 30 days total where I didn’t have a least one drink.
It took several things for me to beat it, but it all ultimately came down to lifestyle changes.
First, I got tired of the effect that drinking was having on my family and my health. So I turned to God for help with prayer (and I asked other believers to hold me accountable.) For me, this took getting into the Bible and Prayer every single day and really working on my relationship with Jesus.
I also had to just cut certain people and things out of my life. If I had a friend that just didn’t understand that I couldn’t be around alcohol at that time, then they had to go.
The last thing, and the hardest thing, was to figure out why I was drinking in the first place. What thoughts led me to drink? What were the triggers? Then I had to change those things.
Now that I’ve made all those changes, alcohol has no more sway over me. Case in point, I had a friend who bought me a 4 pack of beer for Christmas, and I still have 1 left. Back in the day, those would have been gone on the first night.
May 26, 2009 at 11:28 am
Don’t give up. Habits are hard to break. Breaking it is a choice you have to make every day. Alcoholism is a hard one. Religion is a crutch. It may help you, but the drive all comes from you and making lifestyle choices that benefit you. Listen to coleyspoint (Tony) and the others and try to do what you know is right for you and your health.
May 26, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I thank you all for your support, Im just going through a datk time right now despite my physical gains. Im not going to give up.