“Who am I to judge spaghetti squash?”
Those were actual words that came out of my mouth once. I’m not a judger. I don’t judge. You like to dunk carrot sticks in Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme? Fine. I like you. Cut the crust off your sandwich with a sword (which is awesome).. Let’s hang out. But I can’t get over the ginormous amount of complete douchebags all over the place. Websites, drivers, on tv, work, at the gym. You name it. Is it just me? I’m not even a judger. Sorry for the language…don’t judge me. I hope I don’t offend the millions of people hanging onto my every word. This is where animals come to the rescue. And kids. And, to a lesser degree…the elderly, although they can get mouthy. I’d say of the people between the ages of 15 and 90 that I’ve encountered the last few weeks, a solid 85% I’ve found to be D-D-D-D….D-bags. I may even say 90%. I never even used that word until a few weeks ago. Now I blurt it out randomly. I don’t have tourettes….I’m corrupted, angry, ugly. It’ll go away I suppose. After I kill someone.
Onto my new gadget. I ordered a Gymboss timer b/c all the coolest grapplers have them. Oh, plus it vibrates. http://www.gymboss.com/ I got it today so I can’t wait to use it tomorrow! It’s gonna be awesome b/c now I don’t have to look at my watch or stopwatch. You can set it for different intervals and it beeps and/or vibrates. I’ve been doing a lot of Tabata training so it will come in very handy for that.
Also, I was accused of lying about my hills here in Omaha! I mentioned I do hills in some blogs….probably the same one that I even included a pic of my usual hill. Well, first of all, I’m way more creative than that…to lie about a hill…pfft. See, people assume Omaha is all cornfields and we drive tractors, which is true. Usually. I, however, prefer to ride on a horse, though. Just b/c it’s cool to say, "Oh, hang on. Let me get off my high horse." Now how many people can say that, but mean it literally? I’m fortunate like that.
August 20, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Do NOT forget about the steaks! How could you forget about the steaks? I mean honestly, thats what Omaha is known for. Omaha Corn? no. Omaha Blueberries? no! Omaha Steak?!?! Ding ding we have a winner.
Don’t judge me!
August 22, 2009 at 7:21 am
I can attest to her version of the terrain in the Omahizzle. The hills aren’t gigantor, but they very consistently sized foothills. I’ve seen her eat up those hills in small bite sized chunks and then laugh about it in her king-of-the-mead-hall laugh.
Bro, who you trying to kid? You’ve been dropping the "douche bag" bomb since you won your first knife fight at age 6. ****, you even invented the words "doucheoir" and "douche waffle". Yeah, you navigate the douche waters with the greatest of ease.
August 22, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I come before all to throw myself humbly at the feet of DX. My confusion has been dealt with swiftly, leaving no doubts. Ignorance is no excuse. Everyone else…don’t judge me!
August 26, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Hmm, d-bags or wanna be rednecks, not sure if you could live here either. I must say I’m amazed by your profound description of the people in your neigborhood.
August 29, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Hey now what’s wrong with omaha! It just so happens I live on a great hill for running (Papillion). And in Omaha there are TONS of D-Bags no worries!. Glad I’m in papillion now though… less douche-baggery going on round here!
GL with the GymBoss I’ve heard wonders!
August 30, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Hey, I never said Omaha! And….I work in Papillion. Trust me, there are D-Bags. There are less onlly b/c the population is a lot lower, but the percentage is probably close. Besides, that’s based on opinion only. Hey, I could be one! No….not really. Also, that whole national poll thing that ranks Papillion as the 3rd best place to live in America…I want some of the crack those people are smoking.
August 30, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Sorry…6th. Had to look it up. http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/moneymag/0707/gallery.BPTL_top_100.moneymag/6.html
August 30, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Hahaha it’s REALLY not THAT bad!!! Papillion isn’t bad, Omaha is terrible… bellevue is meh… cops are so much nicer in Papillion… great bike trails, shadowlake is cool (I live right behind there). But yeah 6th best place… i think that’s just an opinion… not even an educated guess haha.
I never know how they take that poll cuz I live in Papillion but work on base… hrmm… conspiracy!
September 1, 2009 at 8:10 am
Best…Blogger…Period!!! Love it!