DanicaX’s BodyBlog

to my gansta nation! Na na na na na na na. Can you tell I’m listening to my blogging music? Hellooooo. Happy new year to you bb.com’ers!! I figured I’d write a little blog letting you all know that the beast is alive and well!  He’s sprawled out on the bed right now. Me..I’m on the floor where I belong. Typing quietly, of course, so I don’t disturb him…Man, then he’d really get all hyphy. You ever seen a hyphy Great Dane who is light in the loafers? Well, it ain’t pretty. He starts barking at me in with this way over-exaggerated lisp and then he takes his Tempurpedic pillow in the spare bedroom and slams the door. Whatever!!! I don’t need this! Oh, he also wanted me to tell everybody that he "like, totally appreciates all the PM’s and stuff, but can’t like do parties anymore."  Well, except bar mitzvahs…He’s a sucker for those!! 
 
Well, let’s see…I did the squat press at the gym today for the first time in, oh, about 3 months. I get my weight on, I sit back in it, I was doing single legs so I put one leg up on the platform, I’m lowering…I’m lowering. Now, sometimes the sun is shining right into the gym through the windows and in certain spots you are blinded by it. I’ve thought about wearing sunglasses, but I don’t like to draw attention. I’m already pushing it by wearing my Uggs with my shorts. That’s to hide my house arrest ankle bracelet…whole ‘nother story. Yeah, I sneak to the gym. haha….Suckers! Don’t judge me!! Anyways, my knee is down by my chest and I see the back of my thigh and I’m like, "Whoa. What is going on! Is that MY leg?" You know how the hair on the back of the upper leg grows in an opposite direction than the lower leg? Well, it does….and when you think you are getting it when you do your basic upward motion razor sweep in the shower…you’re not. Quit fooling yourself. Of course, the sun was like beaming right down onto it just to make it more obvious. Everybody saw it. I was the laughing stock of the gym.
 
Now here’s my question. Do you think it would be "socially unacceptable" to let’s say, be on the squat press, maybe have a Gillette Mach3, some Satin Care shaving gel, a small bucket of water? You could see everything there!! See, I’ve seen the posted signs outside the steam room, "No shaving in the steam room." Pshhht…yeah, who would even do that? The squat press. That’s where it’s at. No sign there. I think I found a loophole here.
 
So, this provoked a spa night at my place tonight! No more of these sun shining down on my faults at the gym and embarrassing me!…I don’t think so! I need more spa nights. Oh, yeah…King Marmoset, thanks again for the exfoliating scrub recipe you gave me. It’s great! Mind if I share it? Ok, you take 1/2 cup of coffee grounds (used or not), 1/4 cup olive oil and a little squeeze of lemon juice. You mix it up and scrub with it in the shower. It’s awesome b/c you don’t even really need lotion afterwards b/c of the oil in the scrub. But…..it’s pretty messy. This is why I suggest using the shower at the gym. Hey, I don’t wanna dirty up my own shower. Ahhh, spa night, I heart you so much!! I took it easy with the Ped Egg, though, b/c I told you guys about the time I over-did that and my feet killed me when I went to the track the next day. Oh, track….I miss you!! I can’t wait til the heat comes back…it was -7 this morning!! 
 
I even wrote my daily sermon and texted it to all my peeps when I was soaking in the bubble bath just like Rev Run does on Run’s House and signed "God is love, Rev Run. Peace out." haha! Nobody texted me back….weird.

 Hope everyone is doing awesome and staying healthy!