DanicaX’s BodyBlog

This is officially my 100th blog/BS for a bit type entry….thing. First things first! Why are the damn birds always f-ing with me!!!??? Always teasing me, taunting me, wanting me to save them, ruining my plans, my workouts, my cozy nights by the fire place. They’re workin’ for someone, obviously. So, quick synopsis of events in the past year: 1) birds dive-bombin my head at the track all last summer when I was running stairs 2) they magically appeared and started chirping their stupid beak pie holes literally as I had the lighter in hand to start my fireplace last Xmas, although I had NEVER heard them prior to that 3) they built the biggest mother of all nests in my grill in the spring and I didn’t know it til it was opened….and NOW.

 So, G-Money (dog) who couldn’t find a T-bone steak if it was a foot away from him on the floor goes outside today. He makes a beeline for this little thing under a tree. Somehow he has caught a mouse outside before and I saw something move, so I thought it was a mouse. No…a baby bird. Next to the baby bird was a nest. So then I’m going inside and there is this huge loud chirping in this lilac bush by the door. I kept looking down toward the bottom of it and my eyes focused on what other….than another damn baby bird!!! Ughhhh! Get away, birds! I ain’t got nuttin for ya now, ya hear! I was about to leave for the gym. So then I went inside, got my yellow rubber gloves (hey, you don’t know where those birds have been) and went to first assist the baby bird by the nest. Mind you, these two birds are unrelated. Well, I don’t know, the one had sort of a weird crossed eye, so there could be some "keepin it in the family" going on if you know what I mean.

I wasn’t able to pick it up b/c I was afraid of hurting it. It was all helpless and face down in the grass. It could have been hungover from a long night of regurgitated concoction that mama bird made; I don’t know.  So then I went over to the other bird. I couldn’t get to it b/c it looked like it had fallen to the bottom of the bush and I didn’t see a nest or anything. It was in between all kinds of twigs and branches and whatnot. So I go inside, call the humane society. They don’t do birds. I call the Wildlife Rehabilitation Hotline. There was a huge, long message….."If you have found a nest of baby rabbits, place an ‘X’ out of dental floss or straw over the nest and check it in the morning"….."Press #2 for woodchucks and beavers"…..hahaha! woodchucks and beavers!…"If you are a stupid bird and you are feeling like hurting yourself, get yourself a baby BIC razor and remember, down the road, not across the street. Nobody will miss you b/c you suck." Ok, I’m just kidding….just kidding. I love all creatures.

 Long story short, I did absolutely nothing, called my mom on the way to the gym and, of course, she’s all like, "Well you know what you have to do. You have to cut the branches down around the bush so you can reach the bird." Oh for crying out loud…she’s worse than I am. So, I’m thinking of how I’m gonna save these birds on my way home. I get home and check the one who was face down. He was gone! Horray! His mama came back to get him! Either that or the baby daddy. Then I go check the other one. I’ll be damned if he wasn’t just chirping away all perched up on a branch way high up. Horray! He got himself out and up high so his mama (or…you-know-who) can come get him! I was so happy. I was talking to the bird. "Well, look at you! What a good little baby bird you are. Yes. You a good little baby bird!" What…..what…am I ….doing. Enough of the birds! I hate you, birds!!! It’s all G’s fault, as usual. Here’s a pic of the little baby bird after he got himself up. It’s funny how birds work. Just leave ‘em be and they’ll figure it out. Kinda like Danny Bonaduce. Hey, I haven’t mentioned him in a long time.

 Ok, now some fitness related news! Workouts and diet have been going awesome. I got to hot yoga this morning, too, which is my 2nd one for the week so far. My goal is just one time per week. Movin’ on up….movin on up…I’ve been continuing the HIIT on my hill, lifting and….well, just being super cool. Ha! Not really. I switched from working overnights for 4 1/2 years to days just this week so I’m working some kinks out there. When I say kinks I mean like really big kinks. Peace out for now! Also, I just want to reiterate that I love all creatures, even stupid inbred birds.