Silly Amedicans
Happy late Independence Day, everyone!! My 4th of July started out the same as any other day, by sneaking over and stealing my neighbor’s newspaper. By "sneaking" I mean I really tried to get the dog to go fetch it for me, you know, like dogs are supposed to do. Oh no, not him. He doesn’t work for free and he sure the heck doesn’t have the piss poor morals I was hoping he’d have when I adopted his Pueblo, CO freakish @$$. Perhaps it’s b/c I haven’t had him since he was a pup. Boy, I woulda molded him right if I had! Believe that!
Anyways, on the front page of the FOURTH OF JULY morning paper there was a big picture of a kid scooping ice cream out of a carton. The kid was looking all sad-like and melancholy, like someone just slashed her giant trampoline in her back yard (BTW that wasn’t me). The article was about how ice cream manufacturers have been reducing the size (1.75 to 1.5 quarts) of their ice cream containers on the sly. Yes, on the sly!!! Can you believe it? It’s an outrage!! I’m not so sure I blame them with the response of some of these people, either. Good lord, you don’t mess with the size of ice cream buckets…not in this country you don’t. This lady said she noticed how her container was "about an inch shorter than it used to be." hahahaa!!! What?
I went to the farmers market this morning. There were no more eggs. Nobody cared.
This other lady said, "It feels like the manufacturer is trying to pull a fast one. Consumers are not morons." Excuse me, double-hahahahaahahaa!!! She must not have gotten her certified letter personally signed by the head ice cream dude (or dudette, both are official titles of course) explaining how things were gonna go down. Everything’s going up, lady. Ingredients cost more, gas to transport, energy costs, etc. Alright, that’s it!! Who’s the head banana dude? I need to have a chat with him!
Front page of the paper on the 4th. Nothing about our troops, no picture of a flag, not even a firework. May as well have a fat guy eating a hotdog, drinking a beer on the front. At least he’s probably not gonna complain.
Today is the 12th of July already…that’s crazy! Today is Anne Frank’s bday. I don’t know why I always remember that! So, a blog entry in honor of my homegirl, Anne Frank! I bet she would be happy to have had ice cream.
Yesterday was a nice hot and sunny day. I’ve been loving to ride my bike this summer so I rode on a trail and stopped to run some hills. It was one hill and I did 10 hill sprints, which basically almost killed me. It was probably my hardest workout I’ve had all year. I was so exhausted after every one of them, but towards the end my head started feeling like it was just too heavy to even hold up anymore. Yes, I took off my bike helmet. I just had nothing left. I had to sit in the shade for a little while before I could bike home. I was proud of those hill sprints!! Hope everyone is having a good and healthy month so far and enjoying all the things of summer!
July 12, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Glad to hear your fourth went well! Enjoy the rest of summer
Dave
July 12, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I’m designing a "lazy river" with melted ice cream instead of water. The melted ice cream will flow gently down a carmel ice cream fall to a delicious delta of sundae delight. You can even wear your hot fudge water wings in there if you want.
July 13, 2008 at 8:14 am
Sliippery slope. This is how it starts. First they come for our ice cream. Next, it’s our freedom!
July 13, 2008 at 9:51 am
Why not a fat guy eating a hot dog and slamming down a brew…that represents America pretty well. Picture him there with his big fat wife in her spandex shorts, a uicorn tatoo on her left boob a baby glued to the right and about 5 mullet wearing young uns running around them. There’s the America I know and love.
July 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm
NICE cover of the front page… isn’t that one of the prophesied signs of the Apocalypse or something?? Oh, are priorities…
10 hill sprints is insane!! I’m usually pretty good about 3-4… great job and I hope you’re having a great weekend!
July 13, 2008 at 8:10 pm
THEY’RE MESSING WITH ICE CREAM?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
July 15, 2008 at 12:02 am
I have noticed the ice cream thing too…and it costs more now!! AARRGGHH!! When will this madness end? I used to have two Jack Russels and those dogs would not listen to anything I would say…unless I bribed them with food!
July 16, 2008 at 12:15 pm
The only thing I have been able to train my pups to do is to sit. That’s it! And they won’t even do that for me if I don’t have a treat in my hands! Little parasites.
I’m jealous of your very obedient sounding doggie!