CoachNoodle 
"I've never met a bodybuilder that was ever satisfied."
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| Created: | 10/16/2008 |
| Total Visits: | 226 |
| Total Blog Entries: | 9 |
| Total Comments: | 14 |
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August 30, 2009
“I saw this guy the other day out of the corner of my eye, and thought ‘man, that dude has got a great build.’ I turned to gain a better perspective and see who this guy was I realized I was looking at myself.”
Few of us can resist mirrors. Whether we like what we see or not, we are self evaluators at heart. We only hope we like what is represented when we stair at that person in the glass. Mirrors can be our friends. I’ve heard women say, “Oh, that mirror is a skinny mirror. I love it.” A skinny mirror? What the hell is that? Are they all not created equal? Isn’t its only purpose to reflect reality back at us? Have the man trying his hardest to put on muscle, with the ideal training routine and the perfectly timed diet evaluate himself in that skinny mirror and he may sink into a dark pit of self-loathing. To this guy, the mirror is not a friend at all, but a liar. “I looked ok the other day. What happened?” A new workout program and diet re-evaluation bounces around his brain like a game of extreme racquet ball.
I believe for many of the beautiful people at gyms around the world, there is a great deal of modesty. Of course, there may be some false modesty intertwined with those of the truly self-effacing but I believe many of models of fitness are awash in humility. Give a guy a compliment who is pushing some major weight on the squat rack or looks like he has walked off a photo shoot for Men’s Health and you get a handful of excuses of why he isn’t stronger or how he may be fat, flabby, or small relative to…you fill in the blank. Maybe it’s that guys aren’t good at taking compliments or possibly not good at taking compliments from the same sex without letting their testosterone and pride rise up and inform the would be flatterer of how great they actually are or, at least, were.
It’s true that many of our perceptions of ourselves leave us falling short of an idyllic standard we have for our body. And to make it more of a struggle is that this ideal is constantly evolving to match an ever changing goal and desire for improvement and change. “I want to bench three hundred pounds.” “I want to see my abs.” “I want to gain twenty.” Holding true in this case is the saying; you always want what you don’t have. We get stronger and gain muscle at the sacrifice of a few percents of boy fat. We lean down to compete or for a sharper summer look and we lose thirty pounds on our bench press. No wonder the supplement companies do so well. There promises of goal achievement have us cruising the net and supplement centers for the next magic pill that will aid in finicky goal fluctuations. We are a society of instant gratification and rush to throw our money at those that offer the best possibility for aspiration achievement. That’s possibility, not guarantee.
It is no tragedy that we believe we can always be better. If we didn’t, working out would lack enjoyment and a great deal of purpose. We may be content but never satisfied. We should strive to better ourselves; whatever our goals. It is for this reason that we are inspired by others; our friends, workout partners, and fellow iron lovers. We aspire to have what another may have and they in-turn do the same. For the extremely devoted, they may always be in the shadow of ideal.
Posted in Training
August 22, 2009
“I found my legs.”
“Where were they?”
“In my pants. I had forgotten I put them there when I got up this morning.”
Sometimes I work out with my roommate. When you work out with somebody sometimes you can’t call them a lifting partner. That’s like a lottery winner calling himself a self-made millionaire. It’s not that they aren’t; but they’re not. He says to me the other day “I think I’m going to skip leg day” I said “that is the best day for you to skip”.
My roommate is not a hardcore dedicated bodybuilder or fitness addict. I don’t even think it’s fair to call him a dabbler. That would be unfair to those guys who spend more time leaning on equipment than actually using it. At least they are there. Given the brief amount of time he dedicates to developing muscle, his priorities should rest elsewhere than on his wheels. Let’s face it; developing legs that would make a Clydesdale envious aren’t going to impress too many people. Really, for most of us, legs are only for moving our chest, back, shoulders, and arms from paint A to point B. I heard this guy say, “Man, I’m so glad I did squats. Now I’ll be able to carry my arms so much easier.” Idiot.
When will anyone see our legs? During the summer? You can get away with jeans and pants. At the beach? A whole week in board shorts, big deal. Who needs a balanced physique when you have limited time to put into something and any results you can reap from one component won’t even be noticed. Sure you will look like a tool every now and then, like propping an apple up on some toothpicks, but that’s a small price to pay for arms that are straining against the cuff of your t-shirt. Seriously, train above the waist; work on the show.
Now, for those who are dedicated to the sport of body building, striving for symmetry and proportions, and who allot a significant amount of our waking hours to the gym, then training legs is essential. To our trained eye, the guy with the well developed torso and underdeveloped lower body looks like a moron. Being fair, maybe he didn’t have time to fit in a day to train those stilts he’s walking around on but if he’s been in the gym long enough, he knows he looks ridiculous. When you create an illusion that your arms are bigger than your thighs, then the ‘skip the leg day routine’ isn’t for you. In fact, you are painting a target on yourself. “Hey, look at me. I’m a cartoon character. My body was the template for Mr. Incredible.”
My roommate is not disproportioned and does not shy away from leg training anymore than the rest of us. I hate training legs. And if I weren’t interested in competing and creating a well rounded physique, I wouldn’t train legs either; or at least often. This is not a cop out. I just feel it’s important to work on the things that will be noticed. If we are at the gym for aesthetics, then let’s do something that will stand out. Let’s get the results that most people care about and will make us feel good when that guy is looking back at us in the mirror. When you find the time, then train your legs. If two or three days is all you got, leave the leg press alone and create an illusion you can be proud of.
Posted in Training
July 9, 2009
“I’m heading to the Laundromat, you want to come along?”
“No thanks. I’ll do my laundry on my abs.”
Having a particular body part or state of conditioning that makes you stand out is like being a Q-list celebrity. It causes curious onlookers to ask “how’d you do that?”, or “what are you taking?”. Congratulations, you may be the messiah of your gym; here to save everyone from pathetic cardio habits and tiny calves that are always hidden under a veil of shame. Having etched out, solid, ripped abs evokes questions and requests of salvation from many of our fitness loving comrades who long ago were the “apex” of fitness until…you fill in the blank. Abs are funny in that sense though. They aren’t going to be built up the same way as say huge biceps, a thick chest, a wide back or legs that could squat a truck. Sure, you could work your core with some kind of sick cocktail of exercises using a combination of torturous moves that echo screams of agony you hear when the brutes of the gym are applying their giant sets to their thighs; but will that get the results you want?
Women come up with the sickest ab exercises imaginable. The next Saw movie will have some over the top female group fitness instructor working over poor innocents; the first one magazine cover worthy lives. Chalk it up to high pain thresh holds because of child bearing, intense motivation and desire, or shear insanity, but woman can work their core harder than any man would care to or could muster the stamina to stand. I have a female friend that I consented to train abs with one fateful evening; stupid, stupid man. I now have a great appreciation for the female core and learned a great deal; however, anything I have integrated into my own routine is now watered down and manageable.
When we talk about abs, we are usually talking about the rectus abdominus. That’s the muscle that gives us blocky look with the deep crossing patterns. There are also the external obliques that sit on either side of the torso. Both of these muscles are superficial and play a role in our posture but we are interested in aesthetics here. What causes the ever legendary 6-pack look are tendinous inscriptions; fibrous bands that cross the rectus abdominus. These bands can form a perfect 6-pack or variety of shapes depending on how they form and how deep the cut across the rectus adominus. The lucky blessed sometimes have an 8-pack where two other inscriptions race across the midsection below the belly button. Depending on how mom and dad blessed you will determine on how well you wear your abs or don’t.
Aside from being cut like a ten year old, an elite athlete, or genetic freak with no body fat; no amount of ab work and specialized super 6-pack routine is going to show if you are carrying a winter layer year round. Some of us like to train as intense on our midsections as we do anywhere else but that’s not what makes our abs pop. Skip the thirty minute core routine and find an elliptical, you are embarrassing yourself. Not that it is a news flash or that it is a revolution in how the abdominally challenged can finally achieve their 6-pack dreams but it is basic conditioning sense. Low body fat to high muscle mass equates to muscle definition and likely some form of a chiseled core. My brother had a 6-pack when he was eight and never did as much as one sit-up; what a jerk. He was lean. He had a metabolism eating everything he put in his mouth like a V8 engine at full throttle.
What’s the secret then? No secret. You can’t believe everything you read in a magazine on break through ab routines and super supplements though exercise ideas are helpful and chemical enhancement can give you an edge. Do some ab exercises. Work them at a couple of different angles. Add some resistance if you want. Get on the elliptical and don’t eat so much junk. If you are already lean and lacking you may have to except what fate has dealt you be thankful you aren’t in any danger of making the worst beach body list. But if you are carrying more than you would like then sacrifice for a while. Eat smaller amounts, spend a couple of sessions a week (four or five will do) on a cardio machine for thirty minutes and you may realize your potential for free laundry; detergent is not included.
Posted in Training
July 5, 2009
Yesterday I ordered new posing trunks. Not my favorite thing to do by any means. I thought my roommate was going to walk in on me as I was perusing the various websites and their stock and, as if I were doing something wrong, I quickly closed my laptop out of mix of instinct and embarrassment. He attended my last competition and knows I’m preparing for a new one but there is still an uncomfortableness about being in search of a little bit of fabric that I would only be comfortable wearing in bodybuilding venue and never, ever anywhere else; Europe or otherwise. The trunks I ordered are cut smaller than those that I wore at my last showing. I was told that the modest “old-school” posing trunks I had worn that had the two inch sides were too big and I need to go smaller. Was that really advice? I ordered the next size down; one and one quarter inch side.
Why are they called trunks anyway? I wore trunks to the pool when I was a kid. I wear board shorts now. Bodybuilders do not wear what I would consider trunks. I assume this is an overseas term that was adopted when that style of swimwear became popular with European beach goers and was taken up by the muscled competitors in the strength training world.
I remember when I received my first pair of posing attire. This was before I was a seasoned veteran in a career of one competition. I was excited. By putting these trunks on I would officially transform myself into an actual bodybuilder. My excitement subsided as slowly as the line at the local buffet establishment on Sunday afternoon. I removed my purchase from its rather small mailing envelope (did I expect them to be bigger?) and held them up in front of me. I’ve seen women’s underwear before but had never envisioned my self wearing them. Not reluctantly, but with the speed of wanting to get a foul situation over with, I put on my new outfit. My first thought was of backing out of the competition as I looked down at the unconcealing situation I had going on and as I stepped in front of mirror I found myself asking the proverbial question, “Why?”.
It’s funny how we can adapt to situations, even ones that are initially perceived as bad or even impossible. I eventually became used to the idea and to wearing my new suit and competed back in October. I had a great experience and look forward to my next one but there is still a sense of hesitation that goes along with this particular clothing piece. But then, there are bigger, stronger men that wear less.
Posted in Training
July 4, 2009
My grandparents lift now. They started a couple of years back to offset what years of life can and will do to a body. Many of our counterparts who are advanced in years are working out now to maintain mobility, increase longevity, and to be part of a social setting. Though, there are exceptions, I don’t think they are interested in the pump, a three-hundred pound bench press, or upcoming summer bikini months. However, as I see it, the younger you are, the more likely you will be lifting for aesthetics or to be the new Hulk.
I’ve been lifting for 15 years now and never have I thought that I was lifting to be healthy. It’s just a nice bonus to go along with a body that stands out. Muscles look good and, for the most part, healthy. There is that health word in second place.
Cardio is a member of the pain and suffering gang. I think it pledged about the same time dieting did. Cardio and diet are essential to lifting because without them we would be walking, undefined, slabs of meat (unless you are the genetically blessed and are unsure what those motorized machines are, lined in front of the t.v.’s). They are also part of a healthy lifestyle; a strong heart pushing essential nutrients through out our bodies. Did health take a back seat again?
Maybe I’m in the small minority. Perhaps the loyal gym members, exercise enthusiasts, group fitness attendants, and workout partners arriving at five a.m., squeezing in a quick 20 minutes during lunch, or straggling in after a solid eight hour day and fighting the evening commute, are coming in to be healthy and eagerly anticipate doing it over again the next day. It’s possible my own vanity takes over my own thinking and I believe my only purpose to working out is to be attractive. If that’s the case, I need to change my way of thinking quick before I’m found out for being a phony.
When you spend time thinking of working out, what are you thinking about? Do you want to gain muscle to be stronger and more attractive, or to be healthier? Do you want to lose wait to be more appealing or to extend your living potential? Do you want to add fifty pounds to your bench because you are the alpha male or because it will improve the health quality of your life?
Posted in Training
July 1, 2009
I decided on the way to the gym that, rather than split my workout today, I would go ahead and do what needed to be done for the day so that I could spend the rest of my day lazin’ around. Usually I’d wrap up cardio, take a break at home, and return to do my lifts later in the afternoon. However, today was leg day and the thought of the suffering that would be my future was too much to put off. If you are going to get punished anyway, isn’t it best to go ahead and get it over with? I remember mom saying “You wait till your father gets home”. Awesome, lock me up and let my imagination run wild on how bad it’s going to be. No thanks, give me what you got. Legs conjure up the same dread I felt at seven years old, waiting for my father to deal out what I had coming.
As I made my way to the elliptical for the gracious five minute warm up, I started to have a thought: Why do leg work outs hurt so bad and upper body work outs hurt so good? Hurt good and hurt bad? Does that even make sense? Absolutely. I love to lift. I love to lift as heavy as I can. I love to get an extra rep with a little help. I want to do drop sets, double sets, super sets, and negatives. All that hurts good….when I’m lifting above the waist. But when it comes to legs, however, I eagerly look for short cuts, I forget what a super set is, and did I hear someone say “you got one more rep”?
I lost track of time in the gym today. I finished my warm up and went about my leg routine. I pushed myself. My legs became progressively more stiff and heavy and I walked in a gate not unlike a toddler with a full diaper. But through it all and even though I was satisfied, I know I cut myself short and didn’t work as hard as I would if it had been a back day.
I don’t hate working my legs. I know it has to be done, less I be a poser, but I really don’t like training them.
Posted in Training
June 29, 2009
I’ve been doing some extra cardio time lately trying to get ready for my upcoming contest. Because my work schedule changes during the summer, I have the luxury of splitting the cardio and the lifting into different parts of the day. After work, at noon, I go straight to the gym for some sweat time on the elliptical and then head back after a 2 hour goof period to lift. It’s working out so far over the past 8 days. I can’t summon the energy to do cardio after lifting, typically and am using the 2 hour break to do errands and chores that need to be done anyway and don’t require me to smell good as it is.
Posted in Training
October 18, 2008
Great first experience. I won all my classes (novice middle and open middle) and took the overall.
Posted in Training
October 16, 2008
I’m competing in my first contest this Saturday (October 18). I’ve been planning for this one for about 3 months; one month longer than I had anticipated because it was postponed. I decided this week to tweak my carb intake and start depleating. Not something that I had done prior but I thought it would help with the drying out. It sucked. I did it for 3 days and went down hill. I hadn’t counted calories, carbs, protein or anything else up to this point and wasted my time doing it now. After work today I drank a large glass of OJ and ate chips for dinner and have been in a great mood since and my body feels awesome.
Posted in Training
October 16, 2008
Welcome to the Bodybuilding.com BodyBlogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!
Posted in Training
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