Clos3r2myDr33ms’s BodyBlog

For the most part this summer i’ve been maintaining. One of my good bodyspace friends suggested that I take a look at what triggers me to go off diet or training and go from there. Sooo, maybe my ramblings will bring some insight. When I first began this fitness quest I had a particular goal date. I was pushing as hard as I could with my diet and exercise to see how far it would take me by that one day. Well, that day has come and gone and so has my mojo. Everyone around me has been telling me how good I look nowadays and how they can tell i’ve been working out and although I can see a difference; I am still aware I have a ways to go. Yet and still, I haven’t been making moves to go forward. I’m taking in a lot of advice and I suppose i’m at a crossroads. Some say this lifestyle is extreme and I should do something I can live with. I tell them, "I can’t have watermelon!!" and the answer "What kind of diet won’t let you have watermelon? It’s fruit!". Well….if I want to be super lean watermelon isn’t exactly on the agenda at the moment but on the other hand I do need to ask myself where exactly is it that I want to go with this? What reasons do I have to put all my efforts towards leaning out? I can’t say that it’s to look good for my husband because he was still attracted to me when I was more uhh…soft. It’s not for swimsuit season because fall is quickly coming up and you don’t need a six pack to wear a sweater. The thought of competing next year has crossed my mind but thats soo far away! Hmm…

I know exactly what triggers me to go off my diet! During the week I eat well and train as usual but on the weekend we go out with friends (and no one I know is into this lifestyle) and I "forget" all about what i’m striving towards and gobble up pizza, cake, and other nonsense. By saturday night i’m pretty disgusted with myself but figure I might as well finish up the leftovers and begin again on monday. Sound familiar fellow chronic dieters? Monday just sounds like a good time to start something over lol. So here I am, up late on a sunday night contemplating what exactly will make this monday different.

There is one thing that everyone that has lost weight says that you should do that I haven’t…well, not for the second time. After I lost about 25 lbs I went out and got some new outfits. Now at 35 lbs lost my clothes are baggy once more but I haven’t wanted to go shopping again. I guess i’m afraid that (like in the past) I will gain the weight back and then i’ll have an even wider variety of sizes hanging out in my closet. But, with me holding on to clothes that are too big am I really saying "what if?" or "when the time comes?". I’ve got to stop doing this!!

 Alright, course of action decided: Since I now fit all of the "goal" outfits I once set out for myself, it’s time to buy a new one (or two or three)! That will be something tangible that I have to work towards and I can try it on every week to see if i’m closer to being able to wear it…and look good lol. This has been a particularly long bout of rambling but it’s definately helped me to sort some things out. Hooray for bodyspace!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 1:11 am and is filed under Random Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.