Best supporting actress, never the leading lady
I’m not quite sure as to how to begin one of these, but I suppose blogging is an art that one improves on over time…much like fitness. I’ve been reading bodybuilding and fitness magazines since I was in middle school and despite my ever present interest, I’ve never just let go and went after it for myself. I begin working out and watching what I eat, I lose some weight, and then I get to that certain magic number on the scale and I give up on myself. I get fearful and i’m more comfortable being mediocre. Not exceptionally fit, not exceptional fat, just mediocre. I’m about 7 lbs from that magically number and I feel the fear creeping into my conscious already and it’s showing in my food and exercise journal. I had joined Weight Watchers this time around because I felt that paying for the program weekly and being forced to weigh in (instead of my usual binge and then ignore the scale for several weeks attitude) would help with the situation. I suppose we’ll know once I exceed my magic number. I’m ashamed that I’ve done this so many times and I’m more than ready to reach my goals. Can anyone else relate to this? Hitting that psychological brick wall and continuing to try to push past it? I’m beginning to notice quite a difference in how people treat me already. As I get heavier I tend to blend in with the masses, with just a few pounds removed, I get stopped on the street. It shouldn’t be that way!! I know that life isn’t fair and that a stellar personality isn’t going to get you hit on but damn…I know i’d rather be one of the "hot chicks" than a middle of the road kind of girl, it’s just that it hurts because i’m still the same person. If society responds to me differently at 23 lbs, what will life be like at 50? Not knowing the answer scares me and excites me at the same time. I’ll never know until I try.
April 28, 2008 at 3:35 am
First of all you look great. Secondly the biggest part of the hurdle is mental. Try and find ways to exercise that you like, and build healthy habits. With your diet choices include variety and moderation. Good luck. You are a star. You’ll be the hot leading lady you want to be in no time. Keep moving forwards and enjoy your journey
April 28, 2008 at 7:46 am
I understand exactly what you’re going thru. Myself and many of my clients have had the same feelings and ride of going up and down emotionally as well as physically on that scale.
Keep it up. Stay focused. You can do it!
Once I’m over my injuries, I’ll be on board behind you. I’d still like to do a show later this year once I’m well.
April 28, 2008 at 7:51 am
Oh, and the double standard just isn’t fair. You’re correct in how you’re the same person, yet a few pounds difference and everyone treats you differently.
I say double standard because more so women are singled out because of pounds than men.
Just keep doing you and educating each person one by one on the topic.