Cinygirl1’s BodyBlog

Well I’ve made great strides over the last 2, 2.5 weeks. I’ve gotten up 3 mornings this week and rode my bike, and made it to the gym for a fouth day. I’ve strength trained 4 days so far this week. Food is another subject. I stick to my clean eating but there is one day each week I go over board (usually on Fridays). Other than that I’m fairly happy.

I’ve come to a realization. I’ll not be able to afford to compete. Everyone here has given me great suggestions (mentors, self tanners, and discount constumes) but the fact remains that at this time I do not have the money and not sure if I’ll find a source before mid September. I considered getting a second job, but then when would I have time to work out? I’ve got plenty of moral support but have no financial support. I’ve thought of trying to find people or businesses who might be willing to sponsor me, but in this bad economic times who has the extra money to give away and with no name for myself what kind of sponsors could I find.

October is closing fast and there are 4 competitions, one is close and I’ve got family that lives about 15 minutes from the venue. I just don’t have the money for the entrance fees or to purchase even a used costume. I know I’m a winer and a complainer but after all my hard work this really sucks!

This is a big thank you to all the great members who read my blog entry (I was starting to feel I was all alone) and gave we great words of encouragement. I especially want to thank Katnap. I spoke with my coach later on that same day and filled her in on my financial plight. She was understanding but also was concerned I wouldn’t keep up on my workouts and stay focused on my diet. Well I’ve wavered over the last few weeks because of moving stress and the "how am I ever going to be able to afford this" stress.

Today has been a much better day in terms of my mood and staying focused on my diet. Cable guy is here fixing my On Demand. Once he’s done I definately need to go to the gym and do cardio. I might just go for a bike ride and save being exposed to all those gym germs.

Thanks again to everyone who gave me words of encouragement I hope to return the favor one day.

I’ve decided to give up on the idea of entering a figure competition. The cost is getting in the way. My work has cut my hours back to the point I only have enough money to cover the essentials. My coach needs payment and then theres the cost of suits, travel and then theres tanning (which isn’t cheap).

I’m so depressed over all this that I’ve not been working out as often as I need to, or eating as clean as I should be. There are two comps that I may be able to afford. Both are in the month of October (the 11th and 25th) thats about two and a half months away. In that amount of time I might be ablt to save up some money. I also hope to find a business or person who would be willing to sponsor me. It’s just depressing to think I worked as hard as I have and not have anything to show for it.  

It’s been awhile and I don’t have any real good things to write about. I had to give up on the idea of competing in the month of July due to the stress of moving. The next comp I’m aiming for is in September. There are no shows what so ever in my area in the whole month of August. Thats probable a good thing. I’ve not been good on my diet what so ever. I know it’s due to the stress of the move and i’ve been unable to get to the gym on a regular schedule. Mostly cuz i’m so tired from moving furniture into my new home and out of my old.

I’m loving where I live and I’m happy about everything except how little exercise I’ve been getting. I’m also having the hardest time sticking to my diet, big time. I’ve yet to make it through one whole low carb day in the last 2 weeks. I binged on junk food and everyday it’s a struggle not to eat the things I shouldn’t. I don’t know whats wrong with me. I’ve been thinking of adding a new fat burner and appetite suppressant but I’m not sure which one. I love hydroxycut but I’m not sure it’s doing it for me any more. If anyone out there who might be reading this your advice would be helpful. I’m going to check the message boards next. thanks in advance!

I hate stress! I’m sure everyone does. My stress is coming from many different directions. First theres the competition, then the issue of paying for everything so I can compete, not enough hours at work and lastly I’m moving. The last one wasn’t suppose to happen until August, after comp, but again best laid plans. A place that is absolutely perfect came available unexpectedly and the move is happening on July first (yikes, I know)!

This stress along with the others has lead me to make the descision to postpone competing. Not my fist choice but I can’t change the moving date. As for my financial woes, this will give me the opportunity to get a second job and save up the money for competing. 

I’ve done a lot of web searching and there are 4 comps scheduled in the month of October (all within an hours drive of my new home). I’m going to invest this time into building more muscle, observe a few more comps (to learn a lil more about stage presence). This time I’m giving myself is my birthday present to me! Cuz stress leads to worry lines and I’ve got plenty on my forehead already :-0

I’ve been tanning for two months now. My legs look really dark when I wear black pants and I wear black at work. Well with the weather warmer I’ll wear capri pants. One morning a coworker came into the classroom I’m in and took a look at my legs and commented on how tan they are. I said yes I go to a tanning salon. She then retorts back "you know thats bad for you." Well of course I know, I had to sign a waver before I could use a bed. The only thing I could think of to say to her and end the conversation was "so I’ve been told." That seemed to end things.

I talked to my coach about the coworkers comment. She told me the next time someone tells me tanning is bad for me just tell them "so is eating chocolate cake". I loved it! This girl eats McDonalds like every other day (there is one directly across the street). My come back for her, if she decides to bring it up again, will be to tell her "so is eating McDonalds." Isn’t that perfect?!. All anyone has to do is watch Morgan Spurlocks "Supersize me."

Well my cold turned out to be the flu. It knock me flat for 5 days and didn’t leave me till I’d say today (fever wise). My BF and I had a planned trip to Vegas and couldn’t get out of going so we went. We were both miserable with all the cigarette smoke around. The smoke caused me to have terrible coughing fits. My last real w/o was Tuesday the 3 nothing real since then. 

I went to the doctor yesterday (Thursday 12th) and found out I’ve got bronchitis and can’t, read can’t, w/o for at least 5 days and moderate in the beginning. My diet the last few days has sucked and I’m glad I’m back home and able to eat the right foods again. Don’t get me wrong I was able to get oatmeal and egg whites, but not fish. Mostly turkey and chicken. I ate 2 bad meals and it was because of how miserable my stomach was feeling, I needed comfort foods (read carbs) to take the edge off.

My coach was a lil sympathetic but we’ll see when we meet on tomorrow (18th). 

Well here I sit for the second day in a row home from work because of a nasty cold. Of course I wish I knew who to blame. But I work in a preschool and go to the gym 3 times a day (on some days 3 different gyms) so who knows where I caught it from. All I know is I’m miserable and not only because I’ve had to miss work but my work outs as well. Yesterday I was looking forward to getting my measurements taken, now i’ve got to wait till Friday (tomorrow). I’m still following my food plan but without the workouts I don’t know whats going to happen. This is not what I needed with comp only five weeks away. I know other competitors must face these issues as well but it just sucks! Has anyone joined my pitty party yet? I’m bringing handsanitizer with me to work and the gym for now on! Thats it for now, I think I should go lay on the couch and watch more t.v. cuz what else is there to do?

Fear, yes fear. What is the line "be afraid, be very afraid"! I am! What is it I’m afraid of, failure. I’m ok with not winning or even placing in the top 5. My fear comes from the idea that I won’t be ready in time for the competion. Those are the thoughts I can’t get past. Because no matter what, I’m competing. I will learn more if I go through with it than if i shrink away for "Fear" of not being perfect on competition day.

Wednesday is another status check. I aproach Wednesday wtih fear, dread and anticipation. Wednesday will also be the third day of low/no carb eating. This might lead to tears and an outburst if I’m still far from my goal. I’m already aware that Angela will be advising another diet change no matter what the results are. I told her this Friday that I going to be preparing myself over the weekend and into next week for even more drastic changes to my food choices.

Thank god for this blog where i can write down my thoughts and hear from others. Because the precipice is getting closer. Thanks for reading and please write to me I love to hear from others women and men alike.

My original plans for Saturday morning were to rise early, 6:30, and hit the gym (on an empty stomach as usual) for a typical morning cardio session of about 70 mins (an extra 20 mins to make up for shortages on Friday). Once done I would then quickly return home to: eat egg whites, oatmeal and allow myself to relax and visit my BB blog. Well what is it they say about best laid plans?…

Well the upside is I made it to the gym, but not till almost 9. Once at the gym I got 55 mins of cardio completed. The down side was at about 40 mins in I started to feel light headed. I otherwise really wanted to get an hour done as my legs weren’t tired yet, but I felt since I was there by myself it wouldn’t be a good idea to push it and pass out, so I headed home.

Today is also day one of my high carb menu. I enjoy the fact I can eat more food but the meals and the times I’m to eat aren’t as ingrained in my memory as the low carb menu day. It’s getting easier though. Next week, the 4th to be exact, I will have my stats taken again. I know I’ve lost more weight but I’m nervous my bodyfat hasn’t dropped enough yet. I will get my BF% retested hydrostatically near the end of June. I got "dunked" back on April 17. From there I will have a few weeks till first comp to make any changes necessary based on the results of the BF test.

Well I’m tired and it’s time to go to bed. My plans for tomorrow are to get up early….go to the gym….70 mins of cardio….blah, blah, blah.