Captain Ahab’s BodyBlog

On this the last day of 2007 I am reflecting back on the 365 days that have passed and what has transpired.
This exact time last year as my wife has just reminded me I was not only suicidal but had been making all the necessary plans to carry it out. Depression was running rampant throughout my mind, I had lost my leg and with it at least to my testosterone fueled ego, my manhood. I came to the realization as I looked in the mirror that I was fat and was getting fatter by the day. I was existing on Wendy’s and pizza along with at least one large Dairy Queen Blizzard every night for dessert. To make matters even more interesting I was self medicating with 2 to 3 bottles of wine each evening on top of the morphine that I was throwing down my throat.
After finding the Lord and then having the privilege of being “born again” as a Christian I was slowly losing my way and turning away from God and all that He had given me and tried to find a way for my Pastor to say that it was alright for me to kill myself.
Throughout all of this my beautiful wife Judi, stayed right there with me and using all her strength and will power buoyed me up and refused to let me give in or up.
As I have written in my bodyspace story, it was my wife who was told by her doctor that she needed to go to the gym and exercise to be able to fight off the effects of her Lupus and Fibromyalgia. It was my wife who researched and not only decided to try the Body for Life program but also to take the Body for Life Challenge and in fact it was her that got me to go with her to the gym (how she pulled that one off is still a mystery to me) and to participate with her in the BFL Challenge.
The first few days of going to the gym were not fun but it was something that I had decided to do and I was not going to quit. After the first month of eating better and working out I was actually feeling more of the changes than I was seeing them. I was starting to sleep a bit better, I wasn’t so depressed and I actually had a little energy. By the end of the second month not only were the physical changes really starting to show but also the psychological ones were really appearing. I had a positive attitude, I couldn’t wait to get to the gym each and every day and not only did I not want to take my own life but I was returning to being a Christian.
At the end of the 12-week Body for Life Challenge and that is when my after pictures were taken, I felt like a new man. I as I like to refer to it was “born again with fitness,” and I couldn’t have been happier. It was as though a film had been lifted from my eyes and the depressing dark tint that I was looking through was gone and all I saw was sunshine and positives. So much so that I re-invested myself into becoming a personal trainer and am focused on serving the Lord by preaching fitness to as many people as I can come in contact with. I try to keep my religious beliefs and convictions near and dear to my heart and not pound people over the head with the bible and while I will never be one of those people who corners you and demands you give yourself to God, I am going to be the person who says that you need to keep your temple (body) fit and through the Holy Trinity of fitness (weightlifting, cardio and a healthy eating program) you can save yourself from a multitude of bad things and give yourself the best chance of staying healthy.
I have kept on working out and feel absolutely wonderful. My body has made considerable progress and is showing new muscle gains, which makes me pretty happy especially since on my next birthday I will turn 60 and be in the best shape of my life. I look forward to each and every day and reaching out to people through fitness and by doing so I have met and made friends with many great people here on BB.com and at a number of gyms.
I would like to take this time to thank the many fantastic folks here on BB.com who have not only in the comments box on my bodyspace but also through my blog and as personal messages written, giving me such incredible feedback. I feel blessed to have received such accolades from all of you.
I would also like to take this time to thank my workout partner, my best friend and who I believe is the most loving of wives, Judi Hannigan. Without her I would not be here to even write this nor would I have been able to feel the benefits that fitness has given me. If you have a moment give her bodyspace (judimax) a look-see and you will see the enormity of what she had to overcome just to get to the gym never mind in making the transformation that she was able to make.
I hope that every one of you who is struggling with issues of weight or self image embraces fitness and finds the strength to get through the tough times because the rewards that await you are amazing and if by any chance I can be of assistance to anyone of you, feel free to give me a yell. I would be honored to be there for you.
To all BB.comers I wish a fantastic New Year and hope that 2008 is your best year yet.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 11:20 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.