CampChassidy’s BodyBlog

The absolute weirdest thing is happening.  Maybe someone can help me figure this out. 

Okay for a while now everytime I went to the gym I was stronger then the time before.  Even when I felt tired or just ilmotivated I was still improving.  Recently I started running and training for a short 5k race, but since I have never been a runner I am running a lot in order to do it right.  With reasonable rests and recovery time of coarse. I am still doing my strength training but the last two times I worked out I was having the worst time ever using my normal weight. No matter how determined I was to rep it out… it just wouldn’t work. This seriously pisses me off.  I worked hard to be strong! Am I losing it already? 

I am on track.  It’s just getting harder and harder to find time to blog.  I think it’s about time I got some progress pictures on here so that I can visually asses where I am and where I need to go.  I’ll work on that this afternoon. I have really been working on cardio..mainly running, so i am hoping to lose a bit more bodyfat before swimsuit time.  We’ll see I guess. Until then I am just going to keep on keepin’ on!

Okay, so everyone has always called me the coveted "skinny bitch".  Which I seriously hate because I freakin work hard to be skinny (well maybe not skinny, but toned with little to no fat).  To be getting negative responses from everyone was really a bummer.  Then guess what happens, a notorious book come out called, you guessed it, "Skinny Bitch".  Which only drew more attention to my tiny frame.  Not to mention upped the comments, because somehow now it’s actually considered couth to say this to someone’s face.  Well, I broke down and bought the damn book to see what all the hype was about.  OMG!! I was not expecting to be scared shitless into not eating anything.  I was already vegan before reading the book which helped with the guilt, because trust me after you hear about what they put on, put in, take out, and do to these animals you eat daily you will be sick.  The thing that I am really struggling with is the parts where they talk about whey and caseine.  They basically say that they are not as good for you as you might think.  Infact they are down right bad for you.  There are several ingredients that are used in packaged food and foods that have been "enriched" that are supposed to be huge no-no’s.  Yet my whole life I was told were good for me.  This makes eating a huge struggle.  Especially when I read conflicting articles and books every other day. Oh and by the way this world is freakin currupt!  Most of the studies we read and hear about are paid for by huge corporations working overtime to rake in profits, not giving a flying hoot about our health..probably due to the fact that the cycle would then be broken for the flow of money into the drug company’s pockets.  This is incredibly hard for a fairytale idealist like me to handle.  It makes you want to trust no one because there is always an agenda.  Freakin A!!! No wonder there are so many crazy conspiracy theory people running around shouting from roof tops with megaphones. Not literally of coarse.  Anyway, it was nice to vent.  Now I must go for a run around the lake and find my center. 

Love life everyday!

Chassidy 

So I made through my family reunion without a single fight with my sister. WOooHooo! There was a minute where I was worried I might argue with my hubby when we were lost and both VERY tired and cranky, but we pulled through.  This was nothing short of miraculous. Although last night in Nashville, where we are now visiting his friend, we went to a mexican restraunt and I had a margarita or two, and things didn’t turn quite as well.  I am only mentioning this because whenever there is any kind of termoil (such as an argument with my hubby) my body goes through some terrible things.  I get seriously ill and I am in emense pain, I can’t sleep, eat, and I deffinately can NOT work out.  Why does this happen?  I try everything to at the very least internally recognize what is happening and calm it. Usually to no avail.  I just lose it.  This only happens a few times a year, but the intesity damages me for weeks.  I feel like I have no control over my emotion what so ever.  Which to me is incredible considering the majority of my life is me studying myself and my action/reaction to different situations and learning better ways to control my thoughts and actions.  Overall/Optimal health (which involves emotional health) is extremely important to me and my quality of life.  I want so much to be able to just be in every moment and never take a second for granted.  Because when I step back from my ego I realize that I am truly blessed and I have everything I need to be happy.

Chassidy 

Wow! I completely forgot how unbelievably good crawfish and southern food is.  Right now I am in Louisiana visiting my family.  We do this a few times a year and every time I gain a few extra pounds.  We just got back from eating several pounds of super deliciously spicy crawfish and corn.  Man it is so hard to behave here.  Every meal I tell myself I am going to take the high road and after every meal thus far I have been ridden with guilt.  This sin’t the end of it either.  When we leave here tomorow we have to go stay three days in north east taxas for a family reunion.  Mind you my entire roots are southern.  I believe my mother told me there was a bbq tomorow and a fish fry the next day.  OMG>>>>how am I supposed to do this? 

Am I being to hard on myself?  I mean I have managed to get up the last two days (since we have been on this trip) and work out for atleast an hour and a half or so.  Does that make it okay?  I am seriously have a problem here with guilt.  I know wha I am eating is all wrong, but I really want to be able to relax and enjoy it..but without falling victim to OVER indulgence.  I am just not sure if I have the will power.  WORDS OF ENCOURAGMENT PLEASE!!!

I have been doing gobbs of research since I started on this mission and the most important thing I have learned was found no where near a bodybuilding website, magazine, or book.  In my quest for total control over my body and mind I have been reading several books on the power of the brain.  Such as..universal attraction through tought. Your brain is truly an amazing thing.  We rarely harness it’s true abilities.  I am sure we have all read article about how if you concentrate on the muscle in which you are working that you will acheive a much better pump.  Well this ideal works well beyond just that.  If you want to acheive your ultimate goals you must practice visualizing that you are already there and be grateful for just that.  Never waivering from total faith that it is already yours.  I find this extremely profound.  Not an easy task when your whole life has been chalked full of negative people and events..all of which I attracted through negative thought. Also hard to grasp, that everything that happens to me is ultimately my fault.  It’s so much easier to blame others, situations, or even God.  As I have always been told.."the truth hurts!"  In knowing and EXCEPTING this to be truth it has enabled me to tke control of my thoughts and how I respond to my thoughts.  Thinking positive as opposed to negative thought is only the begining.  Being eternaly grateful every day for the dozens upon dozens of blessings helps me be happy where I am in all aspects of my life.  Thus helping me to be grateful for all the blessings I am going to receive. Like a smokin’ hot body, a fantastic marraige, and a new suv (hybrid with 7 passenger seating).

 Outside it’s gray, rainy and dreary.  But inside it’s 70 degrees and sunny!

Chao bella!

Took the last several days off from here to spend some much needed family time. I cooked a HUGE cajun easter dinner..Mmm. You know, Gumbo, Lousiana Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes, Sweet Potato and Corn Pudding, Cheesy Jalapeno Corn Bread and some spicy Green beans…YUM. Needless to say I did not count calories that day!  

OK.  So I am in what, week four now and this extra fat is absolutely killing me.  I am definately getting stronger, but come on.  My weight is around what I want it to be..115lbs.  Which is good, but minus the muffin tops.  I, as far as I know, am doing everything right.  I am doing intense cardio 3-4 times a week for about 30 minutes.  I even do a little jump rope between strength sets.  Strength training 5-6 days a week. I am keeping my caloric intake at around 2100 3 days than 1600-1800 for 1.  My protein/carbs/fats are fairly close to my initial 40/40/20 plan.  I am getting 7-8 hours of sleep everynight.  So what the heck gives?  Is there something I am missing?  Should I be more patient with this current plan?  I know it’s possible, I see these success stories where people who started off way worse than me end up in competitions AND WON.  I am very proud of the fact that I have been able to stop taking fat burners.  I think that they have a very negative effect on my sense of peace.  So, I truly don’t want to have to go there.  I guess I should be patient and just see where this takes me.  I am affraid of training too hard and suffering burn out, although when I don’t train hard I feel like a damn slacker.  Coming on here definately helps to motivate me. 

If I had a genie in a bottle right now I would wish for 1. A Freakin awesome training partner with the same goals as me who would kick me ass in gear and challenge me to clean up my routine better.  2. To figure out the perfect workout for blasting these damn muffins off. 3. Bigger calfs.

Anyone got a genie in a bottle?

ne se mêler de rien!

Good morning! So I got this new Temperpedic swedish neck pillow that costs way too much IMO, and it’s freakin awesome, but getting used to it is a bitch.  I think I woke up atleat 20 time throughout the night and my neck kinda hurts.  I think that might be from the workout yesterday though.  I don’t think I will get to the gym this morning so there’s not too much to write about…

I am going to go home and get into the infra-sauna and then maybe take a nap and try again.

until I have something else to whine about….bu-bye.

This morning I did chest again..it is amazing how quickly I am able to gain strength.  I was kinda shocked at the weight I was able to use for 10-12 reps.  Although, I am trying to load up more on my weight and bring down my reps in order to build some rock solid muscles.  That is so hard to do for me..I am very delicate.  My hands become crippled and all my joints are screaming at me.  There is this main problem I have in my hand when I go heavy for shoulders, triceps, and chest.  I think it’s a nerve that is getting pinchedright between my thumb and index finger on the soft part of my palm.  It REALLY sucks because it makes it very hard to complete my workout (although I do anyway). Which is probably NOT GOOD. I can’t give up my goal for a little nerve problem though.  If anyone actually reads this blog and knows what the heck that is, then please enlighten me so that I try to fix the issue.  Thanks.

Anyway, I am getting kinda out of control with my grazing so my goal for the next week is to get that under control. I also haven’t found a sound routine yet.  I have almost got it down, but if I want to be able to work out with anyone, it seems I have to go with their scedule, and I kinda had other plans.  Truthfully, I really would like to have a solid workout partner, possibly even a mentor, but in this area those chances are pretty much null. It gets kinda lonely working out by yourself for hours a day, then going home and doing chores (by yourself) for the rest of the day. 

Eeek, I am turning this into some crazy sad psych session.  NOT TODAY!! Today is wonderful. I am super high from my workout and feeling GREAT.  I can’t wait to go clean my house and watch the foodnetwork in HD while I plan dinner.

Have a good one too!! 

YEAH!! How funny! I just realized that pretty much all of my last blogs were negative! I really should be more positive if I want to make this a long term thing.  It has certainly helped that I am starting to see progress in my body.  It has only been three weeks, but I can deffinately tell my muscles are harder and I am feeling stronger every workout.  I am thinking I am going to keep this build routine up for another 3 weeks then try to diet down to get rid of the excess fat I am picking up along the way. 

I am still on the fence as to what is the best workout plan for me.  I keep filling my head with information from articles, forums, question and answer sessions with actual figure competetors, and now I am more confused than ever.  But since I have never tried the load it up approach, I am going with that for the next 3 weeks.  I guess at that time I should either see results or not, and then I can take from there.

I’ll let ya know!