CSullivan’s BodyBlog

I started kickboxing about a month ago. I love it! It is sooo much fun. I started running/walking again about 2 weeks ago, and this is my first week to start back to weights. I have vacation coming up in June and would love to feel good about myself while there.

1-7-08 1438 calories

 1-8-08 1395 calories     30 min stationary bike

1-9-08 1425 calories     50 min stationary bike

1-10-08 1455 calories

1-11-08  1330 calories   wii boxing 25 minutes

Finished out today with 1330 calories and for exercise I did boxing on the WII. I had a belling dancing video that I got off blockbuster.com and I was so exciting until I put it in and it listed 6 videos I was suppose to do before this one, so I tried it anyways and well you really need to do some of the previous ones first cause I don’t have a clue how to shimmy. I tried but it didn’t work…LOL! Anyways I am tired so I think I am about to head to sleep!

I believe for once I have everything going in a calm flow in my life, but my weight and my issues w/ my weight. My man finally has a stable job and is taking care of responsiblities. We finally have a plan to pay off bills and get married. Now I have to put my mind back to weight loss. We arn’t going to get married until 2009 that is when all the credit card bills will be gone. I want to look good when I get married so I need to start now. I was going through cleaning house the other day and found pics of me when I was 220. I can’t let that happen again. I don’t understand why I always allow myself to go back to eating out of control. It is like a disease. "Just this last time, I will do better tomorrow.", "Just this once I mean how many times do I get to eat here", "OMG, this is just SO good I will work it off later!" I can go on and on with the sick excuses. Then after it is all over, there’s just guilt.Calories today: cereal W/ milk 220, soup 120, apple 80, starbucks 220, mac-n-tuna 300, subway 400, sun chips 220, mint 30

Calorie TOTAL= 1590

NO EXERCISE TODAY= Went to work and I have out of town company coming in so I have been cleaning house, didn’t have time to work.

Water= 88 oz.

Well I have not done all the well, still not back on track. I am going to do better though. I am too scared to weigh, but I bet I have gained around 10 lbs.

I know how all this works. When I get into workingout I love it. But why do I get into these modes that I can not do it. The last 2 days I spend drinking after work, I am so depressed. I really just don’t want to go in. I have a emotional eating problem and when I eat bad I lose the motavation for workingout. It is horriable!!!

Not very good, but I have had worse days lately!

Protien bar- 140

Non-fat carmel macciato- 140

South beach diet wrap -240

 Coconut Chicken Soup -150

1 mint- 20

Mini Pumpkin muffin- 140

grilled chicken -160

greenbeans-60

corn on cob-80

mac-n-cheese-320

ice cream 250

protien water-50

dried pineapple-60

Daily calorie count total-1810(if I added correctly)

Exercise- 1 hour in the pool constatly moving (playing with kids)

1 mile run/walk

 I usually take Thursday as my weight day off, but I choose Monday this week. I am going to start writing down my calories and exercise on here nightly to see if that helps me stay on track. I already record it for myself, but putting it here for everyone to see my be even more motavating. I don’t know, but I really don’t want to gain back what I have lost, when I really need to continue losing.

I just don’t understand why eating is so emotional for me. It just makes no since. I eat to feel better, but all I do is feel worse after I am done. Not only do I have my problems still but then I have consumed thousands of calories that I have to work off. I just feel really crappy right now and it is interfering with my workouts and my eating. When I workout I think about all my problems and then get really angry. Then later I am upset about everything so then I eat. I think I need some kind of feel good pill or something. I am stuck, don’t know how to handle anything. I did so good before I got sick and now I am depressed and feeling really bad.