Butterlfy

Now my goal is not to compete.  My goal is to embrace this new life style with everything I have and strive for the best me.  Although I have lost 5 pounds in the last few months I still feel like it is taking forever to get to my goal.  My goals have changed.  I wanted to weigh 110 and now that I do, I want to weigh 105 and have a 15% body fat count.  Now before you say "that’s way to small" I am only 5′1 with a very small frame.  I can still get away with weighing 105 without looking sick.   So to my questions…How can I keep eating small portions like I am supposed and get the muscle that I strive for.  I hear that you are supposed to feed the muscle…but you are suppsed to "diet" to lose the fat.  This is why I’m confused. So I strive to eat about 1200 to 1400 calories a day. It sounds like a lil bit but I feel like I eat all the time.  Anyway…I can’t seem to get that cut up look I’m going for.  Am I doing something wrong?  Maybe I’m still eating too many carbs.  I don’t know.  I come to you because like most I am living on a budget and that budget  has no room for a personal trainer.  So any details that I may be missing would be so appreciated.

So I worked back last night and for some reason I feel so strong and empowered when I’m working back.  Leggs are a close second but it took forever for my back to see results and now that the muscles are starting to show…I am estatic.  I love it every minute of it.

I used to have talk myself to the gym everyday and now I run there. When you start seeing results…let just say all my hard work is finally paying off.  I have such a high these days that you couldn’t talk me down if you tried.  I love this sport. 

Why, oh why must we lose our boobs to this wonderful thing we do when losing fat.

Ok, maybe I’m whining a little.  But it is crazy to go from hating my body to loving my body but with mixed emotions because I am so small chested.  My husband actually said "don’t do too much chest, we want to keep what we have".  I laughed at the time but when I came home and was checking myself out I realized that I had gotten even smaller.

How many have you actually considered surgery to get this fixed?

Yes..I works my bi’s and tri’s but just for fun I practiced my pull ups again and I now can do four.

I can’t believe how fast I am progressing.  I have cleaned up my diet so good and I can see and feel the difference so much.  It’s funny, when you stop eating junk, it only takes a little while for the cravings for the junk goes away.  I didn’t even know that would happen. 

So I get done done with my pull ups and I’m walking away full of confidence and this randon guy who I have never seen before goes "wow, your strong".  Let me tell you, I was grinning from ear to ear.  I felt incredibly strong but for someone to make a comment, let me just say it was awesome

Yes..I works my bi’s and tri’s but just for fun I practiced my pull ups again and I now can do four.

I can’t believe how fast I am progressing.  I have cleaned up my diet so good and I can see and feel the difference so much.  It’s funny, when you stop eating junk, it only takes a little while for the cravings for the junk goes away.  I didn’t even know that would happen. 

So I get done done with my pull ups and I’m walking away full of confidence and this randon guy who I have never seen before goes "wow, your strong".  Let me tell you, I was grinning from ear to ear.  I felt incredibly strong but for someone to make a comment, let me just say it was awesome

I left that gym feelings like I was walking on noodles.  When I was finally done, I couldn’t have pushed my body even if I had wanted too.  That’s when you know you have had a awesome workout.  I had a little trouble sitting on the toliet.  But that’s ok.  Oh…was that too much infomation?

So yesterday I worked back and I am proud to annouce that I can now do 3 full unassisted pull ups.

I am very proud of myself.  This is huge for me.  I had a goal of doing 1 and now I can do 3.  So now my goal will be 5.  I will be there, mark my word.

Has this question ever crossed anyone’s else’s mind?  Sometimes I feel so vein because all I can think about is "what am I going to work next"  what am I going to eat next, should I have eaten that?  I mean my body is all I seem to think about these day’s. 

I took a bite of my daughter’s birthday cake yeasterday and instantly the guilt came over me as soon as I swallowed.  I mean I have always been a little obsessive about my body but now it’s all I can think about.