Is The Inability To “Cheat” An ED?
I am really starting to think I have some variant of an ED.
Prior to my starting my "Biggest Loser" challenge that started all of this I went to an AYCE Chinese buffet for a "Last Supper", if you will. That was February 3rd.
Last Wednesday (11/26) I had a single slice of pizza with my 2 boys. That was my 1st cheat since that day in February!
Granted, I have had a slice of each of my boy’s birthday cakes and some at a relative’s wedding (which I had zero problem with) but this was my first "cheat" in almost a year. I just don’t do it. The nutritional part of this lifestyle is the easiest part for me.
Today I had the afternoon to myself and $11 to dote on said self with. I honestly had every intention of getting a big ol’ piece of really thin crust, New York style cheese pizza (or 2) and just relaxing.
I couldn’t do it.
I looked at various "protein bars" or granola bars, and couldn’t bring myself to get one based on the ridiculous macros in them for the crazy ounces they are (or aren’t).
I ended up getting my week’s worth of no salt cottage cheese, an apple the size of a small grapefruit to snack on and my "big splurge" - a whole wheat multi grain bagel (which was awesome…I don’t do processed grains/flours)
I could have gotten ANYTHING. I drove past place after place, walked aisle upon aisle at the store….and I couldn’t do it. I just could not do it.
Is this type of "clean" approach an ED? I’M REALLY TRYING to be more laid back and loosen up and I’m not having any success, and its really starting to bug me. I honestly think having the occasional less than optimal nutritional choice would be in my long term best interest in that I’m trying to see the big picture and view my next BB commitment in terms of multi-years….and I don’t want to burn out before I get there.
December 1, 2008 at 5:45 pm
You’ve developed a lifestyle that has given you energy, nad with which you’ve made progress. Celebrate your accomplishments, and analyze your compulsions at another time.