Forest Thru The “Me’s”
I’m 2 weeks from the 1/2 mark in my 12 month commitment to, well, me. To making the decision to finally focus like I always knew I could & work as hard as I knew I could. I’ve come so far in such a short time. The "Biggest Loser" fitness challenge, seeing a 1 on the left hand side of the scale, having actual muscle definition, seeing my abs 
for the 1st time ever, finding out I weigh less now than I did when I was 16, etc.
But, as they say, nothing is for free. I have & continue to pay a price every day.
I’ve come to accept that I have brought all of this on myself with my decision to pursue "that body". That’s the reason that today, on a Saturday where I’m not working, I still got up at 4am & made my breakfast. I’ll do my core workout in a little while. Tomorrow is "Rest Day". I’ll go run 6-7 miles in the AM to relax!
Things are going great. I’m definitely adding muscle mass, getting stronger & stronger with each workout. My new split cycle for this 6 week block has gone fantastic. I am setting PRs in a majority of lifts every workout. I’m definitely continuing to lean out & get closer to my sub 10% body fat goal so those abs will really pop. Its really hard to believe that it was less than 6 months ago I was that "Before" picture, a pizza shy of 270lbs & almost 43% body fat.
I’ve never been in better physical health…ever.
That said, I can honestly say that if I knew the mental & spiritual strain this effort (more specifically the constant focus, planning, scheduling, prep, etc) would place on me I may have, back then, given this commitment a little more thought. Don’t get me wrong. I have zero regrets. This 365 day long journey deep into myself has been amazing. I’ve literally gone thru (and continue to go thru) a life altering experience. Each day or week its something new. Its with a child’s innocent wide eyed wonder at seeing or experiencing something for the 1st time that I see/view myself. My mind, heart & soul are forging my body, thru strength training, exercise & nutrition, to undergo a metamorphosis.
But, without question, the muscle that has worked the hardest, that never gets a day off (heck, never gets more than a few hours off) is between my ears. My brain does sets to failure again & again & again & again & again. The windows to be able to "lay my (again, self-imposed) burden down" are so small & far between that if I sense or see that they will close before I get there I end up stressing about not having to stress!!!
I think this is one of the reasons I love my Sunday cardio/run. Many people think I’m nuts to view a hour plus of running (1/2 of it uphill & some of it brutally uphill) as "relaxing". It occurred to me this week that the physical act of running may be a metaphor for what my mind, heart & soul would love to do - just run away! Who knows…
But, in the big picture, I have great problems. The vast majority of the world’s population would give years off their lives for my self-induced issues. Its just hard to sometimes see the forest thru the tree that is me.
I’ve chosen to make my branches strong, my trunk solid but lean, but I need to remember that there is a whole forest out there and that my roots are firmly grounded in some pretty damn good soil.
I just need to find a little time to be able to see (and more importantly relax in & enjoy) the forest.
So, how do you handle the non-stop commitment bodybuilding takes?
