BuckSpin - A Year Of Change

I use an iMac. As part of the OSX system are cool lil’ desk-top pop-ups called "widgets". I have a number of them (calendar, Google search, weather, stickies, etc).

A while back I downloaded a countdown widget. You can set it for anything & it will countdown to the date/time you chose, and even sound an alarm. I suppose you could use it for a wake-up call, etc. if you wanted.

I chose my "Target Day" - February, 14, 2009….Valentine’s Day. My actual 12 month odyssey into fitness, health, nutrition, a whole new me/lifestyle began on February 4th this year with my 1st "Biggest Loser" fitness challenge class. I’ve since decided that I’m actually going to celebrate that as a 2nd "birthday"! But I digress….

Valentine’s Day just seems to be a better fit. Its appropriate on a number of levels, symbolically & personally.

Anyway, my countdown widget informed me that its 200 days to "Target Day". 200 more days. Only 200 days left. 200 days of hittin’ it hard until my "show date" with a mirror to see what 12 months of total commitment yielded.

So I guess I’m 200 "days out"….

I will be posting *shudder* updated Progress Photos next week to mark 6 months since that 1st class. I admit I’m big time nervous about taking the shirt off for the WHOLE WORLD. I am in awe of what so many on this site look like that I feel very sheepish about (technically) taking my place along side them via JPEGs. But I need to know what others think & what I need to work on for the next 6 months.

To be continued at 193 Days Out…..LOL!

Today is my "Relax Day". I look forward to Sunday all week. I have a bigger than usual breakfast, and its the only day of the week I don’t have a scheduled workout (lifting or core). That said, my idea of relaxing is to do this.

So I’m running my 7 miles, listening to my GoList on the Sansa Clip (lotsa 80s hair bands if you must know), just enjoying the time all alone. I rarely see cars on my road, let alone other runners, and never any of these…..until today.

A loose dog.

I was on the tail end (bad joke) of the 1st half of my run when I saw it (not sure if it was a him or her & really don’t care) out of the corner of my eye come charging off to my right. We’re not talking Cujo (although Stephen King does live about a hour from us) but a mid-sized brown somethingoranother running right at me, lips pulled back, teeth all bared. I have no idea if he was barking, etc. in that I was immersed in my 80s flashback via the Sansa Clip.

I just had a second or two to react. What to do?

I didn’t even hesitate, and I’m not really sure why. I think it was mostly to do with the fact that I was having a really good run (ended up setting a new PR by 1 minute!) and this oversized dustmop was interferring with my stride. Or maybe its my newfound outlook, or that "Ol’ Testy" has been flowing more & more lately, or just the primal "Fight or Flight" reaction.

Well, I was already "flighting", so…..I attacked.

Yes, attacked.

I pulled back my right arm and coiled my hand into a fist, raised it high and CHARGED him/her/it head on, yelling "HEY!!!" at the top of my lungs.

Cujo hit the brakes & retreated…..fast!

Without breaking stride I just continued on my way. I had to pass the house again to get back home, but he/she/it was too busy watching the horses in the fenced in pasture to give me even a 2nd look.I wondered to myself "What the $#@! was that you did?" What if he didn’t stop? Was I going to punch a snarling dog right in the face as he lunged at me?

Damn straight I was….

I’m still wondering what made me react that way. Oh well, there is always next Sunday….

This is perspective….

The next time you don’t want to work out, the next time you want to stop short & not squeeze out that last excruciating rep or not pick up the pace at the end of your cardio to as fast as you can, the next time you hit the SNOOZE button, the next time you feel sorry for yourself in any way, shape of form, let this amazing man & his equally amazing son keep things in perspective:

For those of you who are looking for audio & lyrical motivation, this song by Shinedown just SPEAKS to me. For all the thousands of decisions that could have gone one way…or the wrong way, to me this just sums up that mentality of tempering one’s body, mind, heart & soul over & over & over in the forge of hot sweat & cold iron:

Really listen to the lyrics. The great beat, hooks, riffs, etc. just push it over the top…..just like we all do every day. "Paint me a canvas so I can become what you can never be"

I was going to….I really was…

Let me set this up:

Prior to my Before I was not really a huge fan of Belgian style waffles. Sure, I’d have them at Sunday brunches, etc. but they were no big deal. However, over the last few months since my weight loss & pretty much giving up processed foods I have developed almost an obsession to have one.

I don’t want it dripping in syrup or covered in berries, powdered sugar, whipped creme, nuts, etc.

I just want a plain, crisp, authentic Belgian waffle.

I think this all started with making my boys Eggos every morning for breakfast. The aroma, the look, the crunch & texture….oh yeah, the crunch & texture. I miss crunch & texture a lot.

I should explain that since the beginning of February I haven’t had what is classically referred to on BB as a "cheat". I have had single slices of my boy’s birthday cakes and one at a family wedding, but I have not gone out & eaten something knowing full well its not the best choice of budgeted calories, etc.

But, this Belgian waffle thing haunts me. So I decided a while ago that if I was going to have one it was going to be a DANDY. A real one, not some frozen, out of a box, mass produced list of chemicals or even one made by the gazillions at some national chain restaurant. I would know when the opportunity presented itself.

Sunday, the stars aligned. I ran 7 miles in just over an hour so I had a huge calorie debt banked. And I had to be at the Manchester, NH airport later that day. It just so happens there is a Smuttynose Brew Pub there.

And darned if they didn’t specialize in custom crepes and……….Belgian waffles.

Are you kidding me? This was perfect. A lovingly made, buttermilk Belgian waffle just fell into my -1000 calorie lap.

So I pulled the trigger & ordered my plain, no nothing on it, crispy, crunchy, moist, tender, still hot Belgian waffle I’ve been desiring for months. I was finally going to have a real cheat.

Then……..the chef came out. Spoke whispered with the manager. At first I thought this was to verify some idiot really wanted JUST a waffle…with nothing on it, not even butter. The manager came over to me and said:

"Um, I’m sorry, but we can’t make waffles. The chef turned the iron off a while ago."

My heart sank…

The manager continued. "We can make you a crepe if you want?"

"No thanks", I mumbled, gathering the pieces of my broken heart.

"I’m sorry for the inconvenience", she said. "I’ll refund your money".

She had NO IDEA of the magnitude of this single waffle, and what I’ve been thru, and what I do every day and that I chose her place to have my 1st real cheat.

*sigh*

I took the $5 refund and shoved it in one of those $1/3 minute massage recliner chairs and let the magic fingers work over my sullen back for 15 minutes. Not the same, but I needed that.

I guess my Guardian Angel was keeping me in line. Oh well…

Footnote: Believe it or not, I just picked something off of Freecycle.

A Belgian waffle iron…..free. Its mine. All mine. MINE!!!
When I figure out a healthy, no/low fat, low carb, high protein waffle I will let you know.

I’m 2 weeks from the 1/2 mark in my 12 month commitment to, well, me. To making the decision to finally focus like I always knew I could & work as hard as I knew I could. I’ve come so far in such a short time. The "Biggest Loser" fitness challenge, seeing a 1 on the left hand side of the scale, having actual muscle definition, seeing my abs for the 1st time ever, finding out I weigh less now than I did when I was 16, etc.

But, as they say, nothing is for free. I have & continue to pay a price every day.

I’ve come to accept that I have brought all of this on myself with my decision to pursue "that body". That’s the reason that today, on a Saturday where I’m not working, I still got up at 4am & made my breakfast. I’ll do my core workout in a little while. Tomorrow is "Rest Day". I’ll go run 6-7 miles in the AM to relax!

Things are going great. I’m definitely adding muscle mass, getting stronger & stronger with each workout. My new split cycle for this 6 week block has gone fantastic. I am setting PRs in a majority of lifts every workout. I’m definitely continuing to lean out & get closer to my sub 10% body fat goal so those abs will really pop. Its really hard to believe that it was less than 6 months ago I was that "Before" picture, a pizza shy of 270lbs & almost 43% body fat.

I’ve never been in better physical health…ever.

That said, I can honestly say that if I knew the mental & spiritual strain this effort (more specifically the constant focus, planning, scheduling, prep, etc) would place on me I may have, back then, given this commitment a little more thought. Don’t get me wrong. I have zero regrets. This 365 day long journey deep into myself has been amazing. I’ve literally gone thru (and continue to go thru) a life altering experience. Each day or week its something new. Its with a child’s innocent wide eyed wonder at seeing or experiencing something for the 1st time that I see/view myself. My mind, heart & soul are forging my body, thru strength training, exercise & nutrition, to undergo a metamorphosis.

But, without question, the muscle that has worked the hardest, that never gets a day off (heck, never gets more than a few hours off) is between my ears. My brain does sets to failure again & again & again & again & again. The windows to be able to "lay my (again, self-imposed) burden down" are so small & far between that if I sense or see that they will close before I get there I end up stressing about not having to stress!!!

I think this is one of the reasons I love my Sunday cardio/run. Many people think I’m nuts to view a hour plus of running (1/2 of it uphill & some of it brutally uphill) as "relaxing". It occurred to me this week that the physical act of running may be a metaphor for what my mind, heart & soul would love to do - just run away! Who knows…

But, in the big picture, I have great problems. The vast majority of the world’s population would give years off their lives for my self-induced issues. Its just hard to sometimes see the forest thru the tree that is me.

I’ve chosen to make my branches strong, my trunk solid but lean, but I need to remember that there is a whole forest out there and that my roots are firmly grounded in some pretty damn good soil.

I just need to find a little time to be able to see (and more importantly relax in & enjoy) the forest.

So, how do you handle the non-stop commitment bodybuilding takes?

If you are over 35 and were either fat and now fit, or are starting the journey from fat to fit, you want to listen to this.

1st, let me say that I love this genre of music. I loved being a teenager/college student during the heyday. That said, I’d completely forgotten about this gem from Blackeyed Susan:

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/2014626/v2139524?v=2014626

Really listen to the 1st verse. I can so relate my current lifestyle (and my previous unhealthy, obese one) to it. None of that stuff mattered.

Oh, and if the lead singer looks/sounds kinda familiar? That’s Dean Davidson, the lead singer of Britny Fox (of "Girl’s School" fame).

I met with my nutritionist Mary Lavansky yesterday. I always look forward to our get togethers. She is an amazing person & I always enjoy our sessions and always come away recharged, energized, even more focused.

She "walks the talk". Now only is she a former National Champion natural bodybuilder, but she is also the current Maine state champ powerlifter in her class AND just finished training (and completing) a 170something mile bike ride for charity. Whew!

She also has years of experience in her field, a number of "initials" after her name as a pedigree for the sports nutrition info she shares. I am truly blessed to have found her & have her on "Team BuckSpin" as I continue my 12 month sojourn to the best me I can develop.

She initially set up the split sets & core lifts of my 1st 6 week cycle of lifting workouts (to which I expanded upon) as well as my daily nutrition, and the results have been great! Its really COOL to have a former National Champ go "Wow!" when she saw the results of the last 6 weeks!

After listening to my various recollections, concerns, observations & reviewing my current intake & macro %s she decided (she has not made one bad choice yet!) it would be best if I…..this is so cool….EAT MORE! YEAH! And not just more, but the FUN STUFF! MORE FAT & CARBS!!! WOO HOO!

I told her my cardio has really (by my assesment) SUCKED lately, but I’m also continuing to fill out more while definitely leaning out more (see the Spiderman blog). So it was decided to continue what I am doing cardio wise for the next 6 weeks. Its a good place to be when you only have 1 hour/week completely devoted to cardio and you still get leaner. (Aside - I am sure my 2x/week Core workouts have cardio benefits as well as raise my BMR)
So for the next 6 weeks this will be my structure:

Cals: 2500 (48% Carb, 35% Protein, 17% Fat)

I’m still really on top of my Sat Fats (usually under 6g/day), have dropped my sodium to under 2g/day, hitting 40g/day of good fiber (veggies, fruit & grains). Its all coming together.

Its like finding $$$ in an old pair of jeans. I get to go on a mini fat & carb grams spending spree! YEAH!

To celebrate I stopped at my favorite "reward meal" place (Thai Kitchen in Rockland) and had my usual - Drunken Noodles (IE Spicy Tad Pai) with Chicken. She even steams everything for me & hard boils the eggs (OMG are the egg whites in chili sauce AWESOME!) Chased that with some mango/grapefruit gelato (WHY didn’t someone tell me fruit gelatos were so relatively guilt free?)

And, not sure if the carb load last night was the reason, but I CRUSHED my new Back/Leg workout this AM. And its a killer. I was a soaking mess after.

Tomorrow I "re-cycle" and will do Monday’s Chest/Tris workout again, then Core on Saturday. Sunday is my day off - I get to go run 5 miles to relax

Today marked the 1st workout of a new 6 week cycle. I’ve been working on designing these for a week now. I’m coming out of one that focused primarily on adding some mass above the beltline, and I’m quite pleased with the results.

I decided to add 3 compound/strength/Olympic lifts to each of my three 12 lift split sessions (1st, midpoint & last lift) for a variety of reasons:

- They increase the testy release in the over 40 lifter
- They will engage my midsection/abs (a major focus this 6 weeks)
- They will add overall strength/mass
- They will start to develop my legs
- They are great metabolic enhancers PWO as I continue my march towards 8% BF

So today I started with deadlifts, then divided up my Chest/Tris splits with a set of front squats & ended with DB corkscrews (OMG did these kick my @$$!) - 3 sets each.

Quote my 7 year old son: "Dad, you look HORRIBLE!" I was a sweaty, soaking, stinking  mess…LOL

PWO I felt alright, and to be honest I was actually feeling pretty good. I had a great split workout on top of all of that. As I drove to work I remember my body feeling not so much in pain/fatique as much what I can best describe as "shock". It was a new, different sensation.

That was about 8 hours ago. I’ve since gone from feeling in shock to the warmth running all over me like a cold fire, to like I fell down a flight of wooden stairs, to now its more like someone threw me down a metal fire escape. This is unreal.

I love it….LOL!

Can’t wait for tomorrow morning when I do it again with 3 new lifts on Shoulders/Bi Day!

I no longer work out at my old gym. My new "gym" is now in the kid’s playroom, aka our sunroom. It used to be a common area just off of my office. I now have to walk across my "old" gym to get to my new one. My commute is now over 2x as long!

Thats all….