Time Is Not On My Side
Its been a rough week mentally & spiritually. I know I have chosen to bring all of this onto myself via dedicating a year of my life to developing my body to what I have always wanted it (and been afraid) to be. Still, the constant focus, tempered with the realities of every day life as a dad, employee, mortgage holder, etc, etc, can get to you. The physical part of all of this has, ironically, proven to be the easiest part. The nutritional has been a eye opening experience & I have no regrets over, for the overwhelming most part, giving up processed foods (IE foods with lots of commas in their ingredient list).
However the issue of time (more specifically running out of it) has really tested me. I get up at 4&^%$#@! am every morning to make breakfast, workout, etc. I practice time management to save time (packing the kid’s lunches for the week on Sundays, etc). Every night I have what I can do & will need for my next morning’s breakfast prepped & in place.
So why do I always run out of time???
It seems that, every evening, I have the choice of either getting to bed on time and sticking to my sleep schedule (which has been horrible lately), which means I have no time to unwind, chill, "lay my burden (albeit self-imposed) down" for just a little bit and relax my mind, heart & soul, or taking some down time and screwing up my sleep schedule. Plus all the "stuff" that just needs to be done.
It drives me nuts. Its a horrible feeling to wake up at 4am & just know that it will be near impossible to get done what needs to get done and have even a second to unwind by day’s end. Its like having all that extra weight on me again.
How ironic is it that when I was fat & out of shape I had none of these problems (mostly due to apathy & total lack of discipline) but now that I’m in arguably (well, actually…LOL) the best physically shape of my life and really practicing self-discipline I just cannot find time to unwind without it costing me somewhere?
You always read about overworking/overtraining and the ill effects it has on growth & development. If this is the case my mind, heart & soul have been doing set after set after set, every day, with reps to failure. I had no idea the muscle between my ears would be getting this kind of workout! But "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger", so I carry on.
Its 4am again…..
Bring it on……
ADDENDUM:
- It’s later this same morning & I took my own advice. I slowed it down & savored it. Yup, I purposely slowed down….
…my reps during my 2x/week core workout! Oh, MAN did it burn good bringing the legs & hips up a little higher, the descent a little slower, tucking the knees tighter, stretching further on the ab wheel. It was a total exercise in sado-masochism, and it felt GREAT!
Ironically I had a pretty good workout (637 reps over 43 minutes…my 3rd best ever) as well!
I am a sick puppy…..LOL!
Tomorrow is my "day off". I get to go run 5 miles in the morning. I look forward to this (and a slightly bigger breakfast 
) "down time" all week.
"Focus hard, work harder, keep your eyes on the prize."
June 28, 2008 at 4:01 am
You seem like a A-type personality. While goals are important to have and to achieve, remember you do not have to achieve them all in one day! You need time to relax from the stresses of the day and rest helps with the workouts. Good luck with all your goals and life decisions!
June 28, 2008 at 4:14 am
Thanks for the kind words! I am actually a very patient person by nature, and I know the road to "seeing my abs" is a long one. I’m very pleased with where I am at this point in time (just ending Month 5 of my 12 month sojourn) and like the structure of a schedule. However, the mental aspect of all of that can get to me if I can’t find the time to chill. The frustrating part is that I’m almost thinking that, to have time to relax, that I am going to need to worker even HARDER? LOL
Its all good & happening for a reason. I believe in fate so this die has been cast & its my role to follow the path and see where it leads and be a better person for it.