The Chronicles of “B”

Two years!  Two long freaking years I’ve been working towards getting on stage.  During those 2 years every messed up shitty thing you could imagine has happened to me to keep me from acheiving my goal.

I’ve had a long list of injuries, encountered umeasurable financial hardships, been hit…kicked…stomped on and drug through the mud.  I’ve been spit on, made fun of and laughed at for what I was trying to do by everyone from total strangers right down to friends and family.  Each and every time I got kicked in the balls by karma I picked myself up…dusted myself off…put ice on my marbles and went back to work.   Every F-ing Time!

There were so many times I wanted to throw in the towel but it seemed like every time I was at my lowest point I would come here….to BodySpace…and I would have a PM or a comment telling me how I was an inspiration and how they admired me for what I was trying to accomplish…or someone telling me how good I looked or that I was doing a fantastic job.  Those few words of encouragement were all it took to keep me driving on.

Saturday March 28th in Toledo Ohio at the Maumee Indoor Theater I stepped on stage for the first time at the age of 51 years, 11 months, and 8 days and took home First Place in Mens Masters.

There are so many people here who have been a huge inspiration to me and were really behind me  getting up there on Saturday.

Kat who has inspired me from the first day I started here.  Hell I think she may have been the first person on my friends list.  If not the first she was pretty damn close to it. I’ve tried to mirror her success and it’s worked pretty well for me so far.  She has always shown me that age is just a number and don’t mean squat if you want it bad enough.

Susan who has been there for me and drug me sometimes kicking and screeming through this whole process.  Words cannot express how I feel about what you have meant to me this past year.  Meeting you and going to this contest last year and helping you back stage was the turing point in my quest to get on stage. Having you stand beside me on that stage Saturday was icing on the cake.  I will never forget what you’ve done for me.  You’re my friend…my trainer and an all round super sweet girl.  You’re the best!
Even though my wife didn’t always understand what the hell I was doing or why I was doing it she still let me spend money we didn’t have on supplements, and Pro Tan, and posing suits and was generally understanding of all the time I spent in the gym away from her.  That was verrrrrrry helpful. She cooked the million eggs and chicken breast I ate everyday and made sure my gym and lunch bag were packed and ready to go each day. Thanks Maggie.

My core group of Friends in the Circle who are the best group of Cyber Buddies ever!  "C" you’ve been Awesome! Danica and The King! Diane! Laurie!  Adam and Court, Maddie! Ninja Bill, Steph!  The list is long and growing longer.

Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart to anyone who has stopped and left me words of encouragement.  Thanks to all of you my 2 year vision quest has finally been realized and I can begin a new quest.  I have big big plans for the upcoming months but for now I’m just going to bask in the glow of knowing I made it.

Well here it is…Sunday morning and I’m just 6 days from stepping onstage for the first time.  I am very excited and more than just a little nervous.  I would have never dreamed that at 51 I would be stepping onto a stage in front of an audience in a skimpy little posing suit let alone thinking of making it a career.  But that is exactly what is going to happen next Saturday at the Maumee Indoor Theater.  YIKES!! LOL!!

I have to tell you this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Nobody realizes what kind of determination and dedication this takes till you actually go through it.  The double cardio sessions…an hour in the morning and 40 minutes in the evening….working out twice a day and still trying to fit job and family in there somewhere.  The diet alone requires a huge amount of dedication because eating is no longer fun.  It’s just something you have to do to fuel your body…period! And don’t even get me started on carb depletion.  It’s pure hell at times.

As bad as all that seems though it is worth it because let me tell ya there is no better feeling than getting up each day and seeing the amazing changes that you are putting your body through.  Watching that nasty ugly flubber melt away to be replaced with bulging striated muscle!  It’s a glorious thing let me tell ya.

Hopefully this time next Sunday I’ll have some good news to report but no matter the outcome just the fact that I went through it and actually had the drive and determination not to mention the balls to see it trhough to the end makes me feel like the biggest winner in the world.

Well Saturday Susan Beth and I went to the Arnold Classic along with about 50 million other people.  HOLY CRAP I have never seen sooooo many people crammed into one place at one time in all my life.  All and all though it was very impressive and a great day of fun. 

We hit town pretty early and already most of the parking garages and lots were full. We had to park several blocks away and pay 15 bucks but it was all good.  We were finally there and that was the main thing. 

As soon as we walked in the door I got a free T-shirt and all I had to do was strip to get it and I was more than willing to do so…pretty awesome.

We swam through the sea of people scooping up as many free samples as we possible could.  I now think I have enough free supplements to last me for a month.

I also got to meet and shake the hand of one of my bodybuilding heros Frank Zane.  I’m afraid I was a little bit in awe of him and all I really managed to say was something stupid like, "Thank you sir."

Geez! What a dork!  LOL!

We then decided to check out the Bodybuilding.com booth and found a line that stretched half way round the hall.  We were determined to visit the booth though so we jumped into the line and a mere hour and a half later we were almost to the promised land. 

About that time though some big burly security guys came along with their attack dogs and cattle prods and started herding us all out of the aisleway to make room for some VIP who was walking through. 

Turns out the Vip was Arnold himself and he walked right by us.  I made eye contact with him and the guy reached out and shook my damn hand!  I couldn’t believe it. 

I give him my killer handshake because you know he is the Terminator…and I’ll be damned if he didn’t pull his hand back and started shaking it in pain!

His yelping in pain alerted three of the big burly body guards who then jumped me and proceeded to try to beat the crap out of me for crushing Arnolds hand.  I quickly dispatched their candy asses and then told Arnold he was a girlie man for having his bodyguards attack me. 

Well maybe it didn’t quit happen like that but I did get to shake his hand and he said hello which was pretty damn cool.

When all that excitment was through and Arnold exited the building we again set our sites on the BB.com booth. 

The booth was well worth the wait.  Gunter Schlierkamp was there in all his hugeness as was the very beautiful Kim Lyons.  They were both very friendly and actually took the time to talk to us and well as hand us plenty of free samples.  Everyone in the booth was very nice and in the end we got an awesome T-shirt. 

I tried to score some extra samples by letting them know that I appeared on the cover of their newsletter and was a former Transformation of the Week but they were unimpressed and sent me on my way.  Kudos to BB.com though for having such a fantastic booth and for all the great stuff.  You really know how to treat people. 

The most special part of the day though aside from meeting and shaking the hand of 2 of my bodybuilding idols was meeting several of our friends from BodySpace.

DanicaX jumped me in the hallway knocking me to the floor and then held me down by standing on my chest.  Once she discovered who I was though and that I meant her no harm she helped me to my feet and apologized for the misunderstanding.  She was then kind enough to take a picture with me although I think she was still a little leary of my intentions.  Let me tell ya she is a whole lot stronger in real life then she looks.

(note to Danica…had you not sucker punched me I wouldn’t have went down like that.  I’m just saying!)  

We also got to meet Amy Suds who was working one of the booths.  She was very nice as well as very attractive.  Thanks Amy for taking the time to talk to us. 

Then after much searching and texting back and forth we were finally able to catch up with my very good friend "C" (fitnblond) along with Frog Princess, and crlgrl.  I have to say that finally meeting "C" in person was the highlight of my day and I very much enjoyed meeting Frog Princess and crlgrl as well.  All 3 were as nice as they are gorgeous! 

Susan and I then decided to head back home but we decided that such a special day deserved a special treat.  Soooo, even though we have a contest in 3 weeks we gave into temptation and both of us had a Frosty from Wendys.  It was a perfect end to a perfect day.

Thanks soooo much to everyone who made this years Arnold so very memorable…I can not wait till next year.

And special thanks to Susan for being my buddy and putting up with my dumb ass for an entire day and for letting me drag her around the Expo Hall through all that testosterone and silicone.  You’re pretty damn cool! 

4 AM! Winter in Ohio!  A very cold and dismal place to be.  Most morning it’s so cold the wind literally cuts through your skin like a scalpel…wraps around your bones and squeezes till they break.  This is what I wake up to every morning as I trudge out to deliver my newspapers. 

It takes me about an hour and a half and I’m done, right?  Wrong!!! 

After the papers instead of going back to bed I crawl to the gym where I spend the next hour on a treadmill on an 8 to 15% incline to melt away the stubborn fat that refuses to leave my tummy and ass. 

After cardio it’s back home for breakfast…in the shower…and then it’s right back to the gym for my first workout of the day.  Today the morning workout is chest.  I warm up with elevated pushups.  Then it’s on to flat bench presses 4 sets at 145lbs.  Last few weeks of contest prep I don’t go to heavy as I’m looking more to the pump than anything else.  Then the Supersets begin!  First incline bench with 45lb dumbbells supersetted with cable crossovers…4 sets!  Then peck deck supersetted with incline DB Flyes.  Next is decline bench supersetted with bent arm pullovers.  I close it with machine chest press doing negs till I puke! 

A good workout.  Time to rest right?  No F-ing way baby!  I pound down some chicken and rice and then I’m off to work from 12:30 to about 4:30. 

After work I’m back to the gym for my second workout of the day…a killer bicep and triceps routine that trashes my arms.  Time to go home and rest????  Get real!

It’s home to eat and then practice posing and my routine for an hour. 

This brings us to about 8 O’Clock and finally at long last the day has pretty much come to an end.  I check BB.com to see if I have any messages…read my e-mails and then I slam a protein shake and it’s off to bed where I usually pass out by 9 each night.  Very glamorous huh? 

That’s a typical day in the life of a Hard Core Bodybuilder! At least for this Hard Core Mutha it is.  

There is no time for bitching and whinning.  I have a contest to win and I’ll be damn if I’m gonna lose because I didn’t work as hard as the dude next to me.  Let his stupid ass eat a cheat meal or miss a workout…he’ll be watching me hoist that sword on stage while his lazy ass wonders where he went wrong.  If I lose it won’t be because I was out worked I guarantee you that!

Sound hard??  Damn right it does because it is!! It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.  It pushes the boundries of your physical endurance and makes you question your reasons for doing it every single day. I fall into bed each night tired and hungry  

But you can’t fill a trophy case with excuses…only hard work.  And when they present me with that sword for 1st in the Masters the only thing I’ll be thinking is how F-ing good it feels to be the best…at least till the next contest.