Why Is It????
Why is it…..
whenever I’m in a hurry and I stop in a convenience store for some gum or something there is a trailer park queen in front of me in line wearing a moo moo and house slippers and she is counting out change from her change jar to buy a pack of ciggies while her mullet wearing boyfriend in the Alabama concert T is spending their welfare check on lottery tickets?
Why is it….dogs lick their beans? Answer: Because they can’t make a fist…think about it Pixi. ahhhh now you get it! LOL!! JK..Luv ya!
My friend Nic asked this question…why is it that the doors on bathroom stalls never go all the way to the floor? Is it for ventilation purposes? Is it so we can admire each others shoes. Perhaps it’s so we can make sure George Michaels isn’t in there with someone else…like certain politicians who like to frequent public bathrooms! What the hell is going on with that?
Why is it when someone picks their nose they feel a need to inspect whatever might be on the end of their finger before they wipe it under the couch? I know, I know…again with the nose picking humor?? Sorry.
Why is it that 10 million kids everyday can ride both ways to and from school without seatbelts and I have to have my ass strapped in to run down to the corner convenience store to buy gum only to get stuck behind Leroy and his trailer park queen in the moo moo and slippers?
Why is it that every women over 70 feels a need to carry a change purse that is nearly impossible for them to open and to pay for everything with exact change to the penny. Pull out a 20 for Christ sakes granny and lets get this freaking line moving before my milk reaches it’s expiration date!!
Why is it that men die before women…because they want to!
Till next time you keep asking the tough questions and I’ll keep searching for the answers. Oh and…Lift Long and Prosper. *you didn’t think I’d forget my tag-line did ya?*
"B"
April 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm
LMAO, hhheeeeyyy… I got it! After I drew a diagram…
That is the most annoying thing when people pay out in change or check… a CHECK?! Holy 80’s…
Hilarious blog, my friend, I’ve missed these! More, more!
April 15, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I might have been mining for nose gold when I read your blog.
April 15, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Um, I may not be over 70 but I carry a change purse. I feel so ashamed. lol
April 15, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Such tough questions Bryan…hehehe…
I have also wondered about the bathroom stalls….hmmmm…
April 15, 2008 at 8:20 pm
hee-hee - very funny bryan!! esp. the change purse toting 70 year old!! i also want you to know I am seriously considering your offer to become your partner in the slay…..
April 15, 2008 at 10:53 pm
You are like "the Dude" on the Big Lebowski and write a check just for a 1/2 gallon of milk don’t you. I think he even wears house slippers! Or "jellies" or something…..ahhhh! Jellies!!!!! And I seriously think my mom has an Alabama concert tshirt, thank you!!!
April 16, 2008 at 2:10 am
I think people inspect their boogers to see if it is bigger than their previous best!
Kids don’t wear seat belts to school because it would cost the city and the drivers too much money to add the seat belts in…I do believe they have been given a deadline on this!
Moo Moo sliippers and the gown with the mullet boyfriend…hmmm…still under investigation. They are an amazing species!
Have you ever seen the episode of family guy where Peter has a farting contest with Michael Moore in the bathroom stalls? I think that answered the stall question!! LOL
Dogs lick their beans because they can…wouldn’t you??? LOL
April 16, 2008 at 6:42 am
Lots of deep thoughts in your blog entry, Bryan!
People still carry cash?! To defend all the women you attacked 
I will say that I pay for nothing with loose change. 
My mother, on the hand, is a different story!
April 18, 2008 at 6:18 pm
You’re turning into Scott with this…AMUSING! Great thoughts, though.
Loose change–what’s that? LOL I hear you, because the old ladies who go to the pharmacy to be social do that ALL THE TIME, especially during the lunch rush hour.