Just some observations and things I know!
Before you read this entry I must tell you that my stress level is on high today so I cannot be held responsible for anything I say or do!
Here’s one thing I know….There is no Justice for a poor man!! You know it’s true!! If you haven’t got a boatload of money to pay the lawyers your ass is going to the steel bar motel baby!!! I mean come on…just look at OJ Simpson. I don’t care what anyone says that dude ginsued his wife and that waiter and if not for his high priced mouth pieces his ass would be on death row right now. If that was me I would have probably already got the injection and be taking the big sleep right now. Hell now a days you can’t even splat a F-ing zombie without worrying about Johnny Law!! I mean real life is not like the lawyers you see on TV. On TV there are lawyers that are always taking pro bono cases just because they want to see justice served but I’m here to tell ya lawyers like that don’t exist. On the street and in real life you pay over $100 a hour for their precious time and then they present only a half assed defense if you’re even lucky enough to have them take your case. Like Forrest Gump…"that’s all I have to say about that!"
Saw something yesterday that kind of disturbed me. A guy I work with tripped and took a spill yesterday. The thing that bothered me about this is that this guy is just 2 to 3 years older than me but he is in horrendous shape. He probably weighs 300 plus and it is a real struggle for him to even walk. He walks like he’s barefoot on glass. He smokes like 2 packs a day as well. Anyway this guy hits the pavement and I run to his aid. I tell him to stay down till he is sure everything is alright. When he is sure nothing is broke he decides he wants to try to get up and I try to give him a hand. Well as you all know I am no puny guy but I could not budge this man. He actually had to roll over like a beached whale onto his stomach…grab the bumper of the car where he fell and walk his way up the car to a standing position. It took nearly 5 complete minutes I swear to god!! I cannot believe that this guy is my age. I know this is shallow but I am so glad that I’m not like that and I am very sad because I know he doesn’t have to be like that. It’s hard to imagine for me that a guy that young moves like a 80 year old man and is about as fragile. It also makes me more determined as ever to not end up that way.
Have you ever seen a little girl sitting outside in her yard playing with her baby dolls? I mean is there anything sweeter than that?? I used to love to watch my baby girls playing house with their babies when they didn’t know I was watching. They acted so mature like a couple of mother hens….it was so cute.
Another thing I know….it hurts like hell when you sit on your sack…YEEEEOWWWWW!!!
Did you know that it’s a proven fact that your nose and your ears continue to grow as you get older?? If you live long enough does that mean you will look like a mix between Pinocchio and Dumbo???
A good friend will be with you through thick and thin but a real friend will be sitting beside you in a jail cell laughing and saying…"Damn we f**ked up!"
Ok I think that is enough rambling for one day. Till next time my curious friends….Lift Long and Prosper.
April 9, 2008 at 6:36 pm
"Another thing I know….it hurts like hell when you sit on your sack…YEEEEOWWWWW"
There was so much good stuff in your blog as usual! And I was going to say something about the dude that fell…and the little girl thing…then I got to this and I SWEAR I had to reread it twice to get it! lmao…then I was laughing SO hard I had tears running down my cheeks! roflmao!
April 9, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Not only do your nose & ears grow, but they grow hair
April 9, 2008 at 7:46 pm
LOL, the last one was my favorite! But that really is sad about the guy… I had a friend that was about the same size and she got a chihuahua. The chihuahua was running around her feet, and she totally couldn’t bend down to get it, so she was just swiveling her head left and right until the dog got tired and got up on the love seat to snuggle up next to her. Sad that that was the only way she could get to him!
April 10, 2008 at 2:02 am
I don’t think I have ever sat on my sack! LOL….Maybe I am lacking in the sacking dept! ROFL! Does you sack continually stretch out the older you get? I think so! I remember my old neighbor. He was 80 years old and wore the shortest shorts a guy should not wear. His sack was always hanging out of one side of his shorts! LOL….that’s enough
April 10, 2008 at 2:57 am
LOL! Sorry you’re so stressed dude!
But some funny thoughts in your blog. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Like Mike, I’ve seen a guy with a really stretched out sack. He worked out in these really tiny shorts, and did all these obscene stretches. LMAO!
April 10, 2008 at 5:40 am
I’ll sit in jail beside you….. but I’m not sitting on my sack….lmao
Real Men Have Mass!
April 10, 2008 at 5:45 am
There is a cure for stress my friend. yep.. start feeling frisky and find the wife. LOL
"A good friend will be with you through thick and thin but a real friend will be sitting beside you in a jail cell laughing and saying…"Damn we f**ked up!"
—- So true. Remember that time…
April 10, 2008 at 7:42 am
I see many people way younger than I am that are soo obese, can’t walk well, can’t breathe well. When I was pregnant, I couldnt’ tie my shoes orshave my legs, I can’t imagine how those people function. It really is sad, and you want to take them under your wing "pro bono" just to HELP them, but you can’t. And about the sack thing, I’ve never heard anyone mention that dilemma before - LOL! TMI? haha… um, sorry, it’s not a laughing matter, I dont’ think. (*snicker*) hehe
April 10, 2008 at 10:25 am
Lol, hope your in a better mood today. Really sad about your co-worker, hopefully this will help him realize he needs to get into better shape.
April 10, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I was in jail last weekend. You weren’t there…You wouldn’t even answer your phone when I called!!
April 10, 2008 at 3:08 pm
You seriously might be getting a call from jail this weekend. The poster above me is hitting town. Pittsburgh, hide your midgets!!
April 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I know what you mean about the co-worker thing. I’m the only nurse in my clinic that’s REMOTELY healthy. Oh, and the sack continues to grow as you age, too…
April 10, 2008 at 8:41 pm
So I guess if the sack continues to grow you are more likely to sit on it at an older age….don’t worry mike…there is still hope for you to experience it!!
thanks for the thoughts…and feel bad for the co-worker… i am sure he felt bad too…
April 10, 2008 at 11:52 pm
You are not shallow by saying you are glad you are not like that man. I wish more people in this country would feel the same way you do. I am so biased again obese people. I am sorry to say it but yes I am. In my mind I know there are people who are obese because of certain medical problems but I know in my heart a ton of people just say that to cover up the real reason. I was at the gym today and this really obese woman was using the Cybex torso machine..her ass cheeks were hanging over the side and I was looking at her like I hope she doesn’t break the machine! *LOL* I know that sounds bad but hey its the truth! Don’t ruin it for the rest of us that are dedicated to staying healthy. I have to say I am glad she is trying and I hope that it isn’t just a one month deal. I hope she stays at it but man the turn over rate in this city has got me thinking she will quit before she sees any result.
April 12, 2008 at 6:58 am
Interesting. And thanks for the info on Splenda. I handn’t heard that. I don’t consume much but will have to watch for it and do some research!
April 12, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Crack me up "B" and another friend of mine just text me and kinda on the good friend theme… said "A friend would lend you an umbrella in the rain..but a true friend LIKE ME would take urs and scream RUN BITCH RUN YOU GONNA GET ALL WET" wow am I glad I have friends.. lol