The Chronicles of “B”

Something is amiss!  I’m not yet sure what the problem is but it could be one of 3 things or perhaps all 3.  Either an evil wizard has cast an unholy spell upon me, or I have been vexed by a crazed witch doctor bent on my destruction, or perhaps I have some how wronged a band of gypsies and they have cursed me.  Either way I am very distressed at the moment.

Seems every time I walk by a mirror today I am taken back by the image of a huge fat man in place of my usual muscular self.  WTF!!!  How can this be??  I have not recently come in contact with any gypsies so I don’t think that could be it.  There are only a couple of witch doctors in Shitholeville and I’ve been on friendly terms with them for several years….well there was that one incident but we no longer speak of it.  So I’m thinking it must be a wizard.  Perhaps the same wizard that got my loving wife to tempt me with chocolate chip cookies sending me into a chocolate eating frenzy.  That’s right my Maggie!  I still have not forgotten your treachery.  But back to the subject at hand. 

I had though of having every mirror in my fortress smashed beyond repair but my vanity would not allow me to do it so I opted instead to take a long walk to clear my head.  The old ruins of the Miami and Erie Canal runs through Shitholeville and the old towpaths make an excellent walking trail so I set out on my quest to rid myself of the image of me as a fat walrus.

I was hopeful of encountering a rouge zombie or two along the trail or at the very least a couple of Satins minions.  The ensuing battle would have been good for my self image not to mention the fact that it could burn several hundred calories.  Especially if the zombies were a bit feisty.  Minions usually don’t put up much of a fight as they specialize in wrecking mayhem and don’t really have the stomach or the skills to do battle with a slayer such as myself.  Unfortunately I didn’t encounter either and was forced to be happy with a long brisk walk.

I am happy to report though that I do believe the walk has done me some good.  I am seeing things a little clearer now and hope that in a couple of days with intense exercise the fat image of myself might disappear entirely.  I am hopeful at the very least.  Just to be sure perhaps I’ll scourer the area later for any bands of gypsies that I might have missed. 

Till next time my friends….Lift Long and Prosper!

"B"

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 26th, 2008 at 4:25 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.