The Chronicles of “B”

First off let me give a huge heart felt thank you to everyone who has stopped by on my blogs, comments and PMs wishing me well.  I didn’t even realize that many people knew who was…why aren’t I in the Top 6????  LOL!!! 

Anyway to update everyone now that I’m pretty much over my concussion and pain medication free….the Doctors told me and I quote, "You are a freak of nature!!"  I have severe sprains of my ankles, wrist, and a hyper extended knee but I have no broken bones and absolutely no ligament damage what so ever!!  The Doc told me I must have the ligaments of a 20 year old to take that kind of trauma and not have a single tear!!  I have some big time bruises which includes my face (must have smacked myself in the face when I hit)  and a road rash and stiches in my ass but I’m already up hobbling around and feel pretty good. 

Spoke with the mother of the little brat again and told the mother that I would consider not sueing the living crap out of her kid if the daughter would agree to meet me in person and give me a personal apology.  She declined so that shows me what kind of person she is.  All I ask for is a simple I’m sorry face to face and she says no…so to hell with them.

Hey…Newsflash!!!  Getting hit with a car hurts like hell!!!  LOL!!  I am so amazed I’m not hurt worse.  When I landed and felt my legs crumble I thought my legs were trashed for sure!!

Anyway….here’s the deal!!!  Hard Core Muthas don’t sit around whining we get up and get our shit back together which is what I’m gonna do.  I can’t lift for a while because of the wrist sprains and my impinged shoulder but today I got off my torn up ass…taped my ankles….slid on a pair of high tops and took a 3 mile walk!!!  How’s that for hard core???  It hurt like a bitch but so what….I’m done with this sitting around crap!!! 

I realize that by the time I can start lifting again I will have lost a lot of the muscle I’ve gained but hopfully if I watch my diet I won’t get too fat.  I’m already resigned to the fact that I have to start again at square one….so what???  It’s not like I’ve never been there before. 

So as soon as I look a little more human I’m gonna post some starting over pics and I’ll go from there.  Guess we’ll see what happens. 

Again thanks to everyone for the kind words…they served as a kick in the pants to get me driving forward.  This story will have a happy ending for me…too bad for the little snot that hit me!!

My 100th blog!!  Whoop ti freaking doo!!!  I had envisioned my 100th blog to be about the great gains I’ve made over the summer or at least something witty and clever to amuse the handful of friends that read this…BUT NOOOOOOO!  I’m lying here with a wrap on every single joint on my body….a huge brace on my knee and I’m breaking rule number 4 of the Hard Core Muthas Code of Conduct which is…Hard Core Muthas never feel sorry for themselves…they just keep driving forward!!

Well I’m sorry to report that I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself this morning!!  I’m starting to think I’m jinxed or that someone has a voodoo doll of me and is jacking me up.  Hmmmmm maybe I should call my ex-wife and ask a few questions!!  Anyway, over the past month I missed 2 weeks training due to an abdominal strain, 1 week lost to the flu, and now this!!  WTF!!!  All because some little dip shit thought more of her cell phone than the fact that she could kill someone with that 4000 lb weapon that she’s speeding around in!!!

Last night I got a call from Miss Ditz’s mommy telling me how sorry her little baby was and how she was always such a careful driver and was begging me not to press charges!!  I told her it wasn’t me that was pressing charges it was the Police.  I also asked her that if she was sooooo responsible then why did she flee the scene knowing that she had just ran me down!!  OH!!!  She was scared!! 

HUH????

I told mommy dearest that scared is turning to see a car speeding towards you at 40 MPH and knowing there isn’t a damn thing you can do to get out of the way!!  That’s scared!!! 

I did finally tell her that I had no desire to see her daughter squirm like a worm on a hook but that I thought she needed to understand clearly just what it was she did and that there is a price to be paid!!!  I also told her that it could have been much worse had I not turned to see her coming she could be sitting in a cell right now on charges of vehicular homicide!! 

She ended by asking if I intended to sue them and I told her straight up that she can count on paying every medical bill and at least any time I miss from work but I’m not the type that takes revenge by sueing people!!  I also told her that she should talk to her precious little girl about the value of life because as far as I’m concerned her daughter gave me no more thought than a squirrel she might run over on the road and that is what pisses me off!!! 

Well that’s my 100th blog!!!  Hope number 200 is a tad bit happier than this one!!  Thanks so much for the well wishes I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it!!

Well this is officially the second worst day of my life right behind the day my parents died!!  Today my dream of competing in a contest came screeching to an unexpected end!

At about 12:35PM today my dreams were crushed by some little teenage ditz looking for her cell phone.  Because while she was looking for her dropped cell phone she blew through a red light and ran me down like a dog!!

I was walking through the cross walk when I heard someone scream, "LOOK OUT!"  I turned just in time to see this car coming straight at me.  I put my hands out and I guess I tried to jump on the hood according to the witnesses but the car threw me back into the air and I came down on my feet but my legs just crumbled.  I fell on my a$$ and slid on my a$$ for about 10 feet and then slammed into a parked car!

I lost consciousness for a few seconds but I wasn’t out long.  The ditz stopped for a split second but then took off.  Other drivers ran her down though and stopped her till police got there. 

Right now I’m lying here with a huge brace on my leg to immobilize my knee which amazingly enough is the most serious injury and even the extent of that is unknown because it is so sore and swollen right at the moment so it can not be evaluated right at the moment.  The other injuries are not to bad but numerous. 

I have 2 sprained ankles, 2 sprained wrist, a sprained elbow, an impinged shoulder, a huge knot on the back of my head with a nice little concussion, several vertebrae out of place, a road rash from hell on my little pink a$$, and of course the knee.

Right now I’m hopped up on pain meds so I thought I would try to peck out a blog to let everyone know what happened.  My friend is letting me borrow his notebook so I can amuse myself while I lie here rotting away!!  It’s very difficult to type with several jammed fingers and 2 sprained wrist but they are wrapped tight and I just use the search and peck method of typing anyway which really only requires 2 good fingers! 

The cops on the scene and the EMTs all said it’s a freaking miracle that I wasn’t severely injured or killed.  Had I not turned when I did or if the car had got into my body chances are I would have went under it instead of being knocked clear and the result of that would have been serious.  

Also when I landed on my a$$ they could not believe I stayed seated.  They said by rights the force of the blow should have caused me to slam onto my back and strike my head on the pavement….again with a potentially deadly outcome!  I don’t know how I did it or what made me think of it but I do remember thinking that I needed to stay sitting up for some reason so I struggled to do just that.  they estimated her speed to be between 35 and 40 MPH when she hit me.  The cops exact words to me were…"Your a lucky Mother F**ker!!  It’s hard to agree now feeling the way I do but I know he’s right…It could have and probably should have been worse!  They wanted me to stay in the Hospital but hard core muthas don’t stay in hospitals damn it!!  we go to the morgue or go home!!  I wasn’t hurt bad enough to go to the morgue so I went home.  Thank God I have a very high pain threshold and a rock solid head!! 

I am so depressed right now though because I know by the time I finally heal enough to start working out again that I’ll have to start from scratch…I’m gonna lose everything I’ve worked so hard for!!  and I was making such nice gains…I was just about to post some new progress pics…guess that’s on hold for a while.

Anyway, my freaking head and ass hurts like hell so I’m gonna sign off for a while and give them a rest.  Think of me please and leave me a message when you get a chance!!

"B"   

First off I want to give everyone who has stopped by to see my new grandson and everyone who has left a comment a great big thank you from the bottom of my heart!  It is much appreciated…I am so proud of that little shit that I could burst!!

That little dude is already a Hard Core Mutha!!!  I swear he was trying to do crunches yesterday while I was holding him!!  I can’t wait to do grandpa things like spot him when he does his first 200lb bench press!!!  That would be so cool!!

Of course as his grandpa and a full fledged Hard Core Mutha it will be my job to teach him the HCM Code of Conduct!! 

WHAT!!!!  You say you’ve never heard of the HCM Code!!!  Well then my bodybuilding friends let me fill ya in!!!

Rule number one!!!  No whining…EVER!!  This is very important!  If another hard core mutha were to hear you whine it could result in a serious beating and you would forever be banned from being an HCM!!!  Whining is described as any whimpering, crying, sniveling or any pussyfied behavior in general.

Rule number 2!  During training you must always go balls to the wall!!!  If you are a female HCM….and yes there are many female HCMs…..you can put whatever bodypart to the wall that you please!!!  The point here is training is always intense!!!  Go hard or go the hell home!! 

Rule number 3!!  The gym is sacred….treat your time there as sacred.  No talking, no playing grab ass, and absolutely never talk about the last episode of Grey’s Anatomy or any other such gay show while at the gym!!  This will also result in a severe beating by other HCMs should they overhear you talking about such nonsense!!  The only kind of noise that will be tolerated while at the gym is grunting, groaning, cursing at yourself for not being able to pull that last rep, and of course farting but only during physical exertion.  It is never acceptable behavior to fart just for the sake of farting.  Unless of course it’s a particularly rank one and you blow it in your buddies face in the locker room!!

There are a few other rules but that is all time will allow me for the moment.  I will try to find time tomorrow to list the rest of the rules.

Again thanks to everyone for your nice comments about the new baby!! 

Xander Lane Schwab was born Nov 3rd at 9:19PM!!  He was 20 inches long and weighed 7lbs and 3 ozs.  He is such a pretty baby!  It is now just 12:27PM and we just got home and I wanted to post this real quick and let everyone know!!  I also posted a couple of pics!!!  Check the little dude out!!

Man I can not believe how freaking sick I’ve been all week!!  I thought I was gonna die last night….no matter what I did I could not quit shivering!!!  I was wrapped up in 2 thick quilts had sweat pants and a sweat shirt on and I was shivering like crazy!!  My temp got as high as 103 last night but thankfully it finally broke.  I actually had to change the sheets on my bed because they were soaked from the fever!! 

If I weren’t such a "Hard Core Mutha’" I would have taken a couple of day’s off from work and rested but noooooo I went to work everyday and just continued to get sicker and sicker…what a macho dumb ass!!! 

Anyway, I’m starting to resemble something human today but now the realization that I probably won’t be able to compete in April because of these damn set backs is starting to set in.  I just lost two weeks of training due to that damn abdominal strain and now I’ve lost another week to the freaking "If I Puke One More Time My Head Is Gonna Explode Flu!"  What a bitch!! 

I mean I am a Hard Core Mutha’ and Hard Core Mutha’s never say never but sometimes even Hard Core Mutha’s get bitch slapped by reality!!   

I’ve thought back over my life and tried to remember when it was I could truly say I was in the best shape of my life and looked my ultimate best physique wise.  Looking back there is no doubt it was when I was boxing…hands down!!  I was solid from head to toe and my endurance was at an all time high!  That’s because I woke up early each morning and did my road work….ate breakfast…and then hit the gym for some bag work and sparring.  I then went to work for a full 8 hours and then went straight to the gym for weight training and more sparring…supper and straight to bed.  Of course it helped that I was in my twenties then but  If I am to even have a snowballs chance in hell of competing I need to get back to where I was when I was fighting!!  I need to develop that same attitude…like I’m preparing for a fight…because in actuality…I am!!! 

Soooo starting tomorrow I’m rolling my fat ass out of bed and sick or not I’m hitting the road….then breakfast and off to the gym where I’m going to do at least 10 hard rounds everyday on the bag along with some rope skipping.  Then off to work….home….and off to lift weights.  I would like to do some sparring but unless I want to flog some of the old ladies that stand in front of my garage and gawked at me I lack any serious training partners.  Maybe I can lure one in with a little booty wiggle Ala pixie and Laurie!!!  LOL!!  I doubt I could do it as well as either one of them though!  If either of you read this I would appreciate a few tips in the fine art of the "Booty Wiggle"  LOL!!

So that’s it in a nutshell!  Back up, regroup and start over!!  Maybe if I get in good enough shape and get that booty wiggle thing down I could get a job as a Chippendale!!! 

 Nawwwwww there’s still that face thing to overcome!!  Oh well I can always dream!