The Chronicles of “B”

I Hate Myself For Loving You!!!

Remember that old song by Joan Jett???  Well sometimes that’s the way I feel about food.  I know I shouldn’t eat it and I know right down to the finest detail what it does to my body and how it does it and yet…..yet…..it is still so damn hard to resist!!!!!  I just love the damn stuff and I hate myself for it!! 

It doesn’t help that everywhere you go we are bombarded by smells from fast food places and bakeries and even from our very own kitchens.  My wife drives me nuts because she insist on baking cakes and cookies knowing how much I love them…especially the cookies straight from the oven.  I’m like freaking Pavlov’s dog when I smell fresh baked chocolate chip cookies…..I start drooling like some kind of idiot and I lose all conscious thought and just start grubbing!  It really not my fault though.   

From birth we are programed to eat a certain way.  If your parents were like mine you were raised on meat and potatoes and gravy at every meal and that would include breakfast.  My mom and dad both ate gravy on every damn thing and that meant on eggs and grits as well as biscuits for breakfast.  We always had bacon ham or sausage for breakfast and the grease from that is what my mom made the gravy from. 

The other two meals all consisted of lard fried animal carcass and some form of potato, fried or mashed and slathered with gravy. 

All day long we drank sugary drinks like Kool-Aid…munched on cookies and sucked on sugary candies!  If my mom wanted me to shut my pie hole….well….she shoved a pie in it, hence the name "Pie Hole!"

  Water was something my parents made you drink when they were pissed at you!  Is it any wonder that as adults after years of abusive eating we’re addicted to this type of food.  It’s been sandblasted into our very consciousness!!

I’ve often wondered that if from birth a child was fed nothing but veggies and fruits and everything healthy would they turn their noses up at sweets and sugary treats and would they crave healthy food like we crave sweets??? 

Anyway, all that being said I firmly believe that if we didn’t indulge once in a while we would go stark raving mad!!  I am what I am and if I don’t eat a cookie once in awhile I’m afraid that I might find myself somday climbing a tower somewhere with a high powered rifle!!  I may hate myself for it but I gotta have it!!   

When they interview the witnesses after my rampage they will all say, "He just kept shouting……GIVE ME YOUR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!!!      

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 2:04 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.