The Chronicles of “B”

There must be something in the air!!!  I don’t know what it is for sure but I wish I could bottle it and sell it cause I’d be rich!! 

Maybe it’s phermones or maybe today was just my lucky day but everywhere I went today women were flirting with me and hitting on me.  Not hitting on me with like sticks and clubs, which would be expected,  but hitting on me like asking if I’m married or would I like to go out.  Needless to say I’ve been walking around all day on cloud nine and a little stunned.  Things like this don’t often happen to me.

It all started this afternoon at work.  I work part time for a local newspaper dropping bundles to the carriers.  while I was waiting for the bundles to get done I was talking to a group of young girls who insert the papers and one asked how old I was.  I replied without blinking that I was 35. (I’m 50)  She replied without blinking, "Damn you’re pretty hot for 35!"  I almost chocked on my tongue but I managed to say thank you.  How smooth am I???  LOL!!  This girl was all of about 23 or so as were all of her friends at the table.  They all agreed that I was pretty hot for 35.  Another one of the girls asked if I was married to which I replied yes.  Then she asked if I was happily married and winked at me.  WTF!!!  I started looking around for the hidden camera cause I was sure I was being punked or something.  But there were no cameras and things were just starting to heat up.

Next as I was walking out to get started on my deliveries one of the boss ladies who is about 35 and hot as hell  stopped me as I was walking out the door and asked me how I was.  I thought maybe she wanted me to do something else but she just kept up with small talk.  then she asked me if I was doing anything Saturday night.  Dumb ass me assumed she’s asking for a work related reason so I said that as far as I knew I was doing nothing.  Well then she said how would you like to meet me and have a couple of beers??  Well again being the dense idiot that I am and not being used to someone flirting with me I said, "Well maybe.  Who else will be there?" I asked.  "Just you and me I hope," she replied!!  OMG!!!  I was blown away and didn’t quit know what to say but after I regained my senses I told her that I would love to have a couple of beers with her but that my wife would probaly kick both of our asses so I’d have to decline.  She aplogized and said she thought I was single.  Like a dork I said thanks for asking though.  Told you I was smooth!!

After that everywhere I went the rest of the day women called me sweetie or hon or some other sweet little name or winked at me or found a reason to touch my arm or my hand.  I walked by two girls in WalMart and heard the one girl take a deep breath and say DAMN to her girlfriend.  Course she could have been saying that cause she thought I looked like Elmer Fudd but the way the entire day had been going I assumed it was a good damn not a damn he’s ugly damn!! 

I’m telling you nothing like this has ever happened like this to me before.  I mean I’ve had girls flirt with me and ask me out but not all in one day like they did today. 

All I can say is I must really love my wife to go through that much temptation in one day and come out unscathed!!  Believe me though I’m gonna mark this day down in my personal journal and milk this as long as it last.  As I always say….just cause your dog’s tied to the porch don’t mean he can’t bark at the cars.  LOL!!  Unless my wife catches me and beats me with the newspaper and then nueters me!!  YIKES!! 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 at 5:22 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.